tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88275573451176761962024-03-13T13:16:42.547-04:00Walking With My Wounded WarriorI am a single mother to 5 wonderful children: Michael, Derek, Kellina, Ryan and Sean.
On July 23, 2011 our world was changed forever. While on patrol in Afghanistan, Derek attempted to rescue another soldier and stepped on an ied resulting in several injuries, including amputations of the legs.
This is our journey through this new and scary world. With the love and support of a wonderful network of family and friends, Derek will be up and running again soon.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.comBlogger190125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-17403322370039206262012-07-22T16:24:00.000-04:002012-07-22T16:24:21.651-04:00A New Year Dawns<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M_pzftT0ZVo/UAxf3e4XrmI/AAAAAAAAAck/qbvmioNS2dA/s1600/outside.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M_pzftT0ZVo/UAxf3e4XrmI/AAAAAAAAAck/qbvmioNS2dA/s320/outside.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">July 23, 2011 dawned like any other Saturday after a long week at work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I woke around 8 a.m., and began to plan out my day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had the usual weekend errands on my list: shopping, bills, cleaning, laundry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a little early to be getting up, so I snuggled in bed, watched a little mindless TV (Disney Channel, I think), and pet my cat, Skitty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I planned to get moving around nine.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The phone rang at 9:28 a.m. as I was separating the laundry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I glanced at the number, and since it was a number I didn’t recognize, I almost didn’t answer it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, I wish I could have ignored that call and have everything stay the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That was the call that changed our lives forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I heard the words no military Mom ever wants to hear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Ma’am, I am sorry to have to tell you this, but your son, Derek, was injured while out on patrol this morning.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The room spun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything disappeared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat in a daze listening to the calm, professional voice on the other end of the phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t comprehend what I was hearing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was so much I needed to know, but most important, I needed to know that he would live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Captain could not promise me that.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I immediately dialed my sister, Yvette, who was on vacation with her family in Myrtle Beach, SC.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hated to interrupt her down time, since she does not get much of it, but I knew I needed her, and I knew if I did not tell her immediately, she would never forgive me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then ran to the basement to tell my father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Once I had told Yvette and my Dad, I was a little calmer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Microscopic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least I was no longer crying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now it was time to shatter Krystina’s life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was on the beach with her mother and her aunt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her that Derek had been injured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her that he was hurt bad, and that his legs were gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She simply said, “Okay.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was in shock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She later told me she turned to her mother after I said that and started to cry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her mother took the phone and I relayed what little information I had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Within a few hours, Krystina and Raffaela walked through my door.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After I called Krystina, it was time to change my children’s lives forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael had just arrived home from the Navy the day before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was out with friends, so I called him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I then woke Kellina, Ryan and Sean and told them the devastating news.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The next few days were a blur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My phone was never further than arm’s reach, even when I sat in court.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked the judge’s permission to keep it in my lap in case the Army called with even a little bit of news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I jumped every time I heard it ring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I begged, pleaded, bargained for any news, any iota of information that let me know he was still alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Army was very good at keeping me informed, even though news from Khandahar, Bagraam Air Base, and then Landstuhl, Germany was not always accurate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I just wanted hands and eyes on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That finally happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It felt like a lifetime later, but it was only six days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Krystina, Kellina, Sean, and I took off for Bethesda, Maryland on Friday morning, July 29, 2011.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael and Ryan followed soon after.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O-dHRzOKkTk/UAxf2mDu74I/AAAAAAAAAcc/yNucgVXUvRA/s1600/medevac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-O-dHRzOKkTk/UAxf2mDu74I/AAAAAAAAAcc/yNucgVXUvRA/s320/medevac.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Derek arrived about an hour after we did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What I saw broke my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My strong, healthy young man was lying in a bed… broken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His legs were gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His right arm was in a brace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was wearing a cervical collar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was yellow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His dreams were shattered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had wanted to either become a cop or join the FBI.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Martial arts was his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything would be different now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would he even live?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-joDaTfV3BYI/UAxf12I_YmI/AAAAAAAAAcU/n_6WeIq87Vg/s1600/first+day.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-joDaTfV3BYI/UAxf12I_YmI/AAAAAAAAAcU/n_6WeIq87Vg/s320/first+day.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Those first days, weeks were stressful, hard, incomprehensible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several revisions to the wounds after he arrived in the US caused the amputations to creep higher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For a while we were afraid he would lose his pelvis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had several fractures – skull, jaw, pelvis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His right arm was broken with severed tendons, muscles and nerves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The doctors could not say whether he would ever have a functioning hand again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had TBI – traumatic brain injury, as well as internal injuries, including acute renal failure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He also had about seven different infections fighting to take him from us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went septic, full system shut down, and the doctors told me they didn’t know if they could save him.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Over the next several months, we struggled to keep Derek alive and get him stronger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>228 days in the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>36 surgeries.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>19 procedures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>129 blood products.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>54 days on a ventilator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>98 days on oxygen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>34 different medical teams.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For four months, the doctors could not promise me that he would live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was still considered “in the woods.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a happy day when the doctor walked in and told me the woods were in the rear view mirror.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In addition to having to watch Derek suffer and fear we might lose him, the changes in our lives since this happened have been numerous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are positive, and some are not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lost my job, and in this terrible economy, I am not having much luck finding another. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Krystina had to leave school and work to be by Derek’s side. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left home for nine months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kellina, Ryan and Sean had to leave their home to live with my sister for all those months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Raffaela and Dennis lost their daughter and Michael lost his sister when Krystina left home to be with her soldier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yvette and Brian had to deal with three additional teenagers in their household.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joey, Eric and A.J. (my nephews) had their home invaded by three teenagers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father, who is still not over the loss of my mother, had his life turned upside down and feared the loss of someone else he loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then there is the extended family and all of our friends who also felt the effects.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">However, as bad as this has been, there have been wonderful experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We learned to celebrate firsts again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His first words were, “chocolate milkshake.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We celebrated when he rolled over on his own, sat up, took his first steps. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There is a wonderful community of wounded warriors who bond together in their shared experiences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have the best attitudes, and if they can do it, what’s my excuse?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are triple and quadruple amputees running around the matc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And those prosthetics make great beer mugs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The carbon fiber keeps the beer nice and cold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know this from personal experience, but I’ve heard stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The medical staff and support staff at the hospital are some of the most wonderful people I have ever met. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Top notch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Best medical care in the world.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have made lasting friendships with people with whom I credit saving Derek’s life, and people who were so wonderful to us during the hell we lived.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The kindness of people overwhelmed us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>North Caldwell and Parsippany both adopted Derek as theirs and stood by us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We received care packages, donations, letters, visits, too numerous to count.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We met celebrities and politicians.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Non-profits helped us with dinners, rooms when family visited, necessities, and friendships.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And Derek beat the odds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His recovery has been long and hard, but one year later, the soldier so many thought would not survive his wounds has faced the worst and come out on top. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is on schedule to get his knees in about a week.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has gained weight and looks healthy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most importantly, he has a never give up, never give in attitude that will take him far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He jokes about his condition and show us all that Derek is still Derek, only shorter, as A.J. said.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Qp-agvpfFmQ/UAxf36PwQXI/AAAAAAAAAcs/wSUs7pji1tI/s1600/standing.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Qp-agvpfFmQ/UAxf36PwQXI/AAAAAAAAAcs/wSUs7pji1tI/s320/standing.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Throughout this journey I have often said “Climb to glory, soldier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To the top.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have made it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is still more to be done, but we are there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Derek will dance at his wedding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will walk Krystina down the aisle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always knew it in my heart, but now I see it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H2tx4iJoJYw/UAxf1bj9zFI/AAAAAAAAAcM/iPiiQlnW1Ow/s1600/derekandkrys.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H2tx4iJoJYw/UAxf1bj9zFI/AAAAAAAAAcM/iPiiQlnW1Ow/s320/derekandkrys.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you to all who have traveled this difficult road with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you for the prayers, care packages, time, love, tears. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will never forget you.</span></div>~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-24345696503425306772012-06-12T13:54:00.000-04:002012-06-12T14:16:06.530-04:00Land of the Free?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have tried to stay away from anything political, but this is really bothering me.<br />
<br />
I am talking about how far political correctness has gone in this country. In particular, I am upset about our children not being allowed to show patriotism, as recently shown in the story about PS90 in Brooklyn, New York.<br />
<br />
The principal, Greta Hawkins, decided that Lee Greenwood's song, "God Bless the USA" was inappropriate for the kindergarten class to sing during their moving up ceremony. Never mind that it has been sung in the past. They are also not allowed to wave American flags.<br />
<br />
At first the stated reason was that she did not want to upset the other cultures who would be attending the ceremony. Wait... what? Last I looked at the map, Brooklyn was still part of the United States of America. I don't know about anyone else, but if I moved to England or Mexico or Japan, and as a result, my children were enrolled in school there, and at a ceremony they sang a patriotic song, I would feel privileged to be allowed to partake.<br />
<br />
I certainly would never be insulted because while in another country that country showed it's patriotism.<br />
<br />
However, after the media firestorm over her comment about insulting other cultures, she changed her tune. Apparently, "God Bless the USA" is not age appropriate. Let's look....<br />
<br />
<div class="spacer10">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
If tomorrow all the things were gone,<br />
I'd worked for all my life.<br />
And I had to start again,<br />
with just my children and my wife.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'd thank my lucky stars,<br />
to be livin here today.<br />
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom,<br />
and they can't take that away.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I'm proud to be an American,<br />
where at least I know I'm free.<br />
And I wont forget the men who died,<br />
who gave that right to me.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I gladly stand up,<br />
next to you and defend her still today.<br />
‘Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,<br />
God bless the USA.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
From the lakes of Minnesota,<br />
to the hills of Tennessee.<br />
Across the plains of Texas,<br />
From sea to shining sea.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
From Detroit down to Houston,<br />
and New York to L.A.<br />
Well there's pride in every American heart,<br />
and its time we stand and say.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That I'm proud to be an American,<br />
where at least I know I'm free.<br />
And I wont forget the men who died,<br />
who gave that right to me.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I gladly stand up,<br />
next to you and defend her still today.<br />
‘Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,<br />
God bless the USA.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I'm proud to be and American,<br />
where at least I know I'm free.<br />
And I wont forget the men who died,<br />
who gave that right to me.
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And I gladly stand up,<br />
next to you and defend her still today.<br />
‘Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,<br />
God bless the USA.
</div>
<br />
Apparently, it's that dreaded first verse - If tomorrow all the things were gone / I'd worked for all my life. / And I had to start again, / with just my children and my wife.<br />
<br />
That is inappropriate for five to six year olds? Okay, let's say for the sake of argument, we give that to her. They could have changed the words to the first verse.<br />
<br />
So, what song did she want them to sing? Well, the perfectly age appropriate "Baby" by Justin Bieber. Let's take a look at these "appropriate" lyrics:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
You know you love me, I know you care<br />
Just shout whenever, and I'll be there<br />
You are my love, you are my heart<br />
And we will never, ever, ever be apart<br />
<br />
Are we an item? Girl, quit playin'<br />
"We're just friends," what are you sayin'?<br />
Said "there's another," and looked right in my eyes<br />
My first love broke my heart for the first time<br />
<br />
And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, no<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
I thought you'd always be mine, mine<br />
<br />
Baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, no<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
I thought you'd always be mine, mine<br />
<br />
For you, I would have done whatever<br />
And I just can't believe we're here together<b><br />And I wanna play it cool, but I'm losin' you<br />I'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any ring</b><br />
<br />
<b>And I'm in pieces, baby fix me</b>And just shake me 'til you wake me from this bad dream<br />
I'm goin' down, down, down, down<br />
<b>And I just can't believe my first love won't be around</b><br />
<br />
And I'm like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, no<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
I thought you'd always be mine, mine<br />
<br />
Baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, no<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
I thought you'd always be mine, mine<br />
<br />
When I was 13, I had my first love<br />
There was nobody that compared to my baby<br />
And nobody came between us who could ever come above<br />
She had me going crazy, oh I was starstruck<br />
She woke me up daily, don't need no Starbucks<br />
<br />
<b>She made my heart pound<br />I skip a beat when I see her in the street<br />And at school on the playground<br />But I really wanna see her on a weekend<br />She know she got me dazin' 'cause she was so amazin'<br />And now my heart is breakin' but I just keep on sayin'</b><br />
Baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, no<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
I thought you'd always be mine, mine<br />
<br />
Baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, no<br />
Like baby, baby, baby, oh<br />
I thought you'd always be mine, mine<br />
<br />
I'm all gone<br />
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)<br />
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)<br />
Now I'm all gone<br />
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)<br />
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)<br />
Now I'm all gone<br />
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)<br />
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)<br />
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone<br />
I'm gone </div>
<br />
I guess it is much better to insult Americans by not signing a patriotic song. Let's face it, why should we sing a patriotic song that might hurt the sensitivities of immigrants who chose to come here, when we can sing a song that will insult only those with morals? <br />
<br />
Once again, after it hit the media, she changed her mind about Baby, and now that is not going to be sung. But she still will not allow a patriotic song. <br />
<br />
<br />
In the past, Ms. Hawkins tried to stop the children from reciting
the pledge of allegiance and from singing America the Beautiful. I
think she should pack her bags and leave. There is a ferry leaving in five minutes for Cuba.<br />
<br />
This woman, who was not arguing the religious aspect of God Bless the USA, at least not at first, is a Jehovah Witness, which is her right to chose her own religion. However, she is a principal of an elementary school in the UNITED STATES, and she won't even <i><b>stand</b></i> for the pledge of allegiance. I get that she claims it is part of her religion not to salute a flag, but what message is she sending to young children if she won't even stand? We are not asking her to pledge, simply to stand. It's a matter of respect. So, if she is free to exercise her religious freedom, why aren't these families free to show their patriotism?<br />
<br />
Our young men and women go off to war to defend our right to be idiots and to insult other people with our stupid opinions. It breaks my heart when I think of all of the brave young people at Walter Reed and other military hospitals fighting to put their lives together. It is because of them that she has the freedom to do stupid things like this and impose her simple minded beliefs on innocent children.<br />
<br />
But should we let her? This is a free country, after all, so where is the right of those children and families to sing a song they had practiced and liked and anticipated?<br />
<br />
To add insult to injury, New York Schools Chancellor, Dennis Walcott and New York City Mayor, Michael Bloomberg are standing by this idiocy.<br />
<br />
Just a few similar incidents I was able to find: <br />
<br />
In May 2010, a student in California got in trouble for drawing an American flag during a middle school art class. It was deemed offensive.<br />
<br />
In April 2012, two students were punished in Texas for wearing a "Homes for our Troops" shirt.<br />
<br />
In 2005, a student was called to the office and accused of wearing gang colors. The colors? Red, white and blue. Her uncle was serving in Iraq, and she wore the necklace to support him.<br />
<br />
In May 2010, students in the San Fran area were chastised for wearing red, white and blue on May 5th. Last I checked, this was America, not Mexico. We should be allowed to wear whatever colors we want on whatever day.<br />
<br />
In May 2011, in Massachusetts, an 11 year old drew a picture of an American flag and was not allowed to hang it in the classroom because it would have offended one other student. <br />
<br />
In November 2010, a California boy was forced to remove an American flag from his bike. <br />
<br />
It breaks my heart that we have been reduced to a country that has to hide who it is so as not to offend others who come to our country voluntarily. I submit that everyone should wear an American flag on every Monday of every week [because Friday is taken for Red Shirt Friday (Remember Everyone Deployed)]. If not a t-shirt, then a flag pin. It is time to stand up and show those liberal bureaucrats that WE ARE PROUD TO BE AMERICAN!!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M3vn3zHSUAE/T9d_rB8_roI/AAAAAAAAAcA/kvCN5gPfBk4/s1600/flag4.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M3vn3zHSUAE/T9d_rB8_roI/AAAAAAAAAcA/kvCN5gPfBk4/s200/flag4.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Articles about Greta Hawkins:<br />
<br />
www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/God-Bless-the-USA-Banned-School-Justin-Bieber-Coney-Island-158454725.html<br />
<br />
www.nypost.com/p/news/local/justin_time_is_up_p2yL2tHwywz5Dq8yXfIdmI<br />
<br />
communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/middle-class-guy/2012/jun/11/nyc-school-system-supports-un-americanism/<br />
<br />
After all these comments, why is she permitted to remain?<br />
teachervoice.com/principal-reviews/Brooklyn/P-S-90-Edna-Cohen-School/10-47416/<br />
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<br />~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-76013936056071779142012-05-15T11:33:00.000-04:002012-05-15T11:33:49.938-04:00Confessions of a Wounded Warrior MomIt has been a while since I've written anything. I needed to back away from everything and try to rejuvenate. I'm not finished with that, yet. I do not know how long it will take me to get back some semblance of who I was before the last ten months happened. I walked away from my entire life to help Derek, and I've lost so much as a result. That's hitting me pretty hard now.<br />
<br />
I don't know what really led to this. I guess certain thoughts have been bantering about in my noggin and I just want to get them out. Perhaps this is like Prof. Dumbledore's Pensieve.... once I take them out, I can categorize them and file them away never to be thought of again. I can only hope.<br />
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Some of these are not good thoughts. Not good things. But I'm human.<br />
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I feel disconnected. I feel like I am adrift on a raft in the middle of the ocean. I need to find solid ground.<br />
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It is so hard for me to ask for help. I will accept it, sometimes, but I find it so hard to ask for it. I've asked for help a handful of times, and usually I am disappointed. It really annoys me when people in power offer help or to arrange a special visit, and then when you ask, they ignore you. I experienced that so many times, and the one that stung the most was the person I thought was my best friend in the world. The other one that ticked me off was someone everyone in the world knows, because he is in the news every single day. Not a fan.<br />
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Most people will offer to help, but they do not mean it. It's an empty promise. Or, it's a promise made with the best of intentions at the time, but when redeemed, it is not convenient. Or, it is meant but only if it is something small and easy. Most people do not want to be put out, but they feel they have to offer. <br />
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When I offer, I mean it. At least I hope I mean it. Not many have taken me up on it. If it is within my power, I will do it. No questions asked. Well, maybe <em>some</em> questions to appease my curiosity. Having reached out to people who offered to help and then were not there when I asked, I've become too cautious. My sister is the one and only person I feel I can rely on 100%, although I'm sure if I asked certain friends they would be there too. I thought I could always rely on the one person I considered my best forever friend in the world, but I guess I wasn't perfect enough the last ten months and that is now over. It hurts.<br />
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I am SO happy and relieved that Derek's guys have made it home from Afghanistan safe and sound and in one piece. I am also a bit bitter and sad. Not because they were not hurt....please! I would never wish an injury on even my worst enemy! I am thrilled for them and for their families. But I hurt for us. I hurt for Derek. I wish he had gotten his homecoming. I wish we could have gone to Fort Drum to welcome the boys home. I wish Derek was one of them. I wish we could have gone to the Post-Deployment Ball and had a blast, like we did at the Pre-Deployment Ball. So, it makes me happy, sad, thrilled, bitter when I see happy homecomings, because ours was denied to us. Does that make any sense?<br />
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It is hard for me to admit weakness. I am a strong woman, and I know that. But I have my moments, and when I do, it is hard for me to admit it. I usually put on a brave face and say I am fine. By fine, I mean Fed-up, Insecure, Nuerotic, and Emotional. Today, I am fine.<br />
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It takes a lot to make me cry. I do not usually shed tears. I cried a lot when Derek was first injured. For the first week, anyway. I cried a couple of weeks ago when I felt I was just getting kicked too many times. Sometimes I tear up, but they crawl back into their cave before they fall. If I do cry, it's a sign that I am really hurting. I've cried a lot the last two weeks.<br />
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I hate doing laundry. I would rather clean a bathroom then do laundry.<br />
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I love Harry Potter. I do not like Twilight. Harry Potter is the ultimate love story. It encompasses every aspect of love - friendship, parent/child, friends, mentors, lovers. There is sacrifice and heroism. Twilight? It's a story of a girl who falls in love with her stalker and then plays with the hearts of two guys. Just my humble opinion. Oh, and I'm finding the Sookie Stackhouse books painful to read. Very juvenile. But the story is intriguing. I loved the Hunger Games books. Fifty Shades? She didn't change enough of it, so I am annoyed at how Edward and Bellish Christian and Ana are. It's another woman falling in love with a controlling stalker. Yes, I read it when it was a Twilight fan fiction.<br />
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I do not carry a grudge, but I do not forget. I will forgive and move on, but I do not forget. Even if the person who wronged me does not ask for forgiveness, I will move on. There is only one person who I hold any bitterness towards, and it is because of recent events, not the past. I had moved on from the past.<br />
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That person? I think most of you can guess who it is. He has wronged me and my children so many times and he was the one person on whom my children should have been able to lean. It's the hurt towards the children that I find the hardest to forget. He abandonned the children 13 years ago and left me to struggle to support them on my own. I tried to get him to pay support, but he failed and refused until Probation caught up with him. So what could I do? I did the best I could for my children. <br />
<br />
Then Derek met the IED. He came to the hospital. He had not seen the children in 12 years. I did not keep him away, although I wanted to. I really wanted to tell him to leave and let us heal as a family, but I didn't. I did not hold any ill will towards him, I just did not want to deal with the stress of having him around. Because I didn't know if Derek would want him here or not, I was not going to be the one to send him away. I did blow up at him in front of Building 10. He caused so much drama and so many problems that I finally snapped, but I still did not ask him to leave. When Derek woke up, he did it, and I supported him. I was blamed. So what? I have been blamed for worse. Derek and I and the rest of the family know the truth. <br />
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I have horrible taste in men. I've pretty much given up on the dating scene because I do not trust my own judgment. I attract jerks, losers, stalkers and abusers. I have looked around to see if there were any decent guys in Bethesda, but all I have found were married men, kids, and jerks. And at this time, I think I have a slight stalker problem. It's disconcerting.<br />
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Racism and discrimination turn my stomach. I hate when people make determinations about a person and his/her abilities simply by virtue of race, religion, creed, gender, hair color, style of dress, etc. I hate when I am called a racist because I do not like someone when it has nothing to do with race, religion, creed, gender, etc. I make my decisions about people based on morals, values, words, and actions.<br />
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I do not like the way so much is couched in terms of racism. Race is not always the determining factor. But if you listen to the media, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and others like them, you would think everything is determined by race.<br />
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When politics gets between friends, it breaks my heart. I lost a friend because of politics. Just because we are on two totally different teams does not mean we can't get along. We acted badly when an disagreement occurred, and that was it.<br />
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I'm lonely. I'm in a crowd of people, but I'm lonely.<br />
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I missed family dinners. Eating alone is depressing, but that's what I did for most meals. <br />
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I feel guilty whenever I feel pain, which is all the time. The range of motion is pretty much gone from my neck and it hurts all the time, but when I see what the wounded warriors do in spite of their injuries, I shut up.<br />
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I miss my church community, but I feel so disconnected from them.<br />
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I am angry at God. I've tried to get beyond it, but whenever I do, more crap gets thrown at me. My crap bucket is currently overflowing. I've tried turning it over to God, but when I do, it gets worse, and something horrible always happens within days of saying I give it to Him. So, I'll deal with it myself. That doesn't mean I don't believe.... I'm just overwhelmed.<br />
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It irks me when people say they must follow the Bible to the letter, but many of them do not. By way of example, so many attack the gay community and say that they are damned because it is against the Bible, but I believe it is Matthew 7:1 that says, "Judge not that ye not be judged." How can they judge the gay community, then? Isn't that up to God? I say, live and let live. If two men or two women want to be together, who am I to condemn them? It does not impact on me, raise my taxes, force me out of my home, change how I live my life, so why should I judge them? I'm leaving it in God's hands to judge us all in the end.<br />
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I simply cannot stand it when people use their soldier's injury to make money or get attention. I also do not like the way some get showered with benefits and some are ignored. We are all in this together, and to give all of the attention to one or two, it is hurtful to the others. Come on - share - spread the love.<br />
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I hate the position I am currently in. I lost my job. This is not a good economy and employment is scarce. I need a break.<br />
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I play Cityville. A lot. It's stupid, but it's an escape from reality.<br />
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I cannot deal with idle chit chat. I hate the telephone. I have so much on my mind and weighing down my shoulders, that to stand around and shoot the breeze is beyond my comprehension. I find myself avoiding people and situations because I just do not want to deal right now.<br />
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I wish I could curl up in bed with a good book, a glass of iced tea and my Skitty Cat and not move for a month. Maybe longer.<br />
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I wish I could afford a maid.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-72413258273699615452012-04-04T19:09:00.000-04:002012-04-04T19:09:23.640-04:00Be PreparedThe old Boy Scout motto - Be Prepared - is so apropo to so much of life.<br />
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Is anyone really prepared for this life? I doubt it, but when information is available and not provided, that irks me. We should make it our mission to get as much information ahead of time as possible, no matter what we are going to do. Ask questions, do your research, exhaust all avenues.<br />
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I feel we were as prepared as we could have been for what it really means to be an outpatient, even though it does not feel like enough. We spoke with a lot of wounded warriors and family members, and we asked a lot of questions. We were told it was intense. But not everyone is being prepared. <br />
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I was dismayed the other day when I met a mother who walked into 62 for their first overnight and had no idea what to expect, what was in the apartment, etc. I gave the doctors a list of everything and asked them to make it available. I was told it would be. This mother should have been prepared. The WTB could provide a list of the amenities offered by 62, as well as list of where to find what you need, including where to buy groceries. *lightbulb on* I'm going to make that suggestion tomorrow.<br />
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Derek met with wheelchair clinic the other day. He was prepared. The day before he met with one of the OTs who is an expert on wheelchairs. He shaved at least an hour off of the appointment by allowing Derek to try different wheelchairs and talking to him about all of the options. He then gave Derek a handwritten list of the things that Derek had preferred. It made the appointment go a lot smoother and quicker.<br />
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Be prepared before all appointments. Krystina goes through Derek's meds so that she knows which ones need to be refilled and which ones are okay. This makes the session with the doctor and pharmacist much easier, and it cuts back on having too much of any one medication. It also helps because the doctor at the Warrior Clinic is..... I don't know how to say this nice. She's .... I am not happy with his PCM. And the nurse practitioner is worse. She actually laughed at Derek when he told her something. I'll leave it at that. We cannot change because there is only one doctor for Battle Company. I think that is nonsence. These guys deserve the best care, not an idiot for a doctor and a bitch for a nurse practitioner. So, we must be prepared for every appointment because the doctor sure isn't!<br />
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Derek is also educating himself on the different prosthetics and procedures so that he can make good decisions and get the best care and equipment out there.<br />
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Derek is getting better and stronger every day. We try to be prepared as best we can. <br />
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Climb to glory!~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-33612699779262727802012-03-31T11:32:00.000-04:002012-03-31T11:32:21.469-04:00Yes It Is Rude, Thank You For Asking....Some people are so clueless. Some people, who you would think should know better that is. Most people do not get this lifestyle. They have never experienced anything near to being called close to the path we now walk, so it is inconceivable to them. <br />
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Just as there are so many lifestyles and situations I cannot comprehend.<br />
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I am not writing this to criticize, but rather to educate. Maybe after reading this, just one person who didn't get it and maybe said or did something that could be perceived as rude, will see someone who is wounded, ill, disabled and open his/her eyes to the life they lead.<br />
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This did not start for me when Derek was injured. Most people cannot conceive what it is to send a child off to the military or on a deployment. When I told someone my son was deployed, I was often met by well-meanies who just didn't get it. My favorite response of all time was when the fellow attorney turned to me and said, "Oh, I know JUST how you feel! I just sent my son off to college." Seriously? Right! Because college and Afghanistan are really so alike. Yes, you had to say good-bye, but that is where the similarities end. Your son is happy, healthy, learning, most probably partying, able to call home every day, not in any danger, etc. My son? Yes, he was healthy, but he was in mortal danger every day. He was shot at. He had to watch his friends get hurt, die. He was able to call home once every couple of weeks. Facebook maybe a little more often, if they weren't on another black out because of yet one more casualty. I signed off from each chat wondering if I would ever speak with again. So, please, tell me again how you get what I'm feeling.<br />
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And then he met the IED. Then he became a Cat-A casualty himself. He was the reason for the blackout.<br />
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That week between the phone call and the drive to Bethesda, I told so many people what had happened. In addition to the wonderful responses, I also got, "but the war is over," "I know how you feel. My son was in an accident and hospitalized for a week," "why did you let him enlist?" and other such comments. I was sitting there not knowing if my son would live to fly to America, or even what condition he would be in if he did, and people didn't get it. Yes, they meant well, but some of the comments were just.... what?!<br />
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One doctor stood at Derek's bedside and told Krystina and me she knew how we were feeling because her husband had deployed. So not the same. Thank you for the sentiment, but ... no.<br />
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Almost daily we encounter people who mean well, but they don't get it. While still an inpatient, I was met with, "He shouldn't still be in the hospital." Or one month after injury, someone asked me, "Is he home, yet?" and when I answered... "Well, why not?"<br />
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Someone asked Derek to compete in a tough mudder style "race" this summer. He is barely walking! Yes, that is a wonderful thought, but he is not yet ready for even an extended trip home.<br />
Derek will be in rehab for at least a year, if not longer. That means, he will not be home. He will be at Walter Reed. Yes, he might be able to come home for a short time on convalescent leave, but not until renovations are completed so he can get in the house. My sister is kindly tearing her house asunder to make accommodations, because there is just no way for my house to be renovated, and I might have to sell it if I cannot find a job.... fast. We have to widen doors, install a ramp, renovate a bathroom, etc. He has no legs. He will need to be able to get his wheelchair everywhere he needs to go.<br />
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Every day, we encounter people who stop short in front of us, refuse to move out of the way, play "chicken" with the wheelchair, come around corners without looking, push baby carriages into the hall without looking..... It is easier when you have legs to avoid these obstacles or if there is a collision, it will be mostly minor. A 370 lb electric wheelchair isn't as easy to move, and if he hits you..... ouch! The electric wheelchair is easier to manuever than a manual or power assist, too.<br />
<br />
When someone is using crutches, in a wheelchair, wearing a brace, using a cane, etc., that device is an extention of his/her person. <br />
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Last week, we got onto an elevator and a woman in uniform got on behind us. She tried to push past Derek while he was moving. There wasn't enough room between his chair, and the wall of the elevator. When she saw she couldn't fit, not for lack of trying, she turned to the front of the elevator and leaned against his chair. I told Derek to roll forward and she stumbled. When she got off, he asked me why I had him move forward, and I told him. A man on the elevator commented that maybe she was just steadying herself. I told him the elevator has a railing, and he would not like it if she had used his shoulder to steady herself without asking his permission first. A person's wheelchair is no different. It is part of him. Hands off. Please.<br />
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And then there is the stress and changes to our life. I had to leave my other children at home. So many do. One wife I know took her children out of school, away from their friends, away from the home, because Daddy needs this to make him better. Another wife was already home schooling, but she had to take her three children and move away from their home, extended family and friends. Another mother left her four children and baby grandson behind, because she felt she couldn't remove them from school at their level. They are living with friends of the family, because extended family was not available for her. Another wounded warrior lost custody of her children when she was hospitalized and now is starting the long road to not only healing, but getting her children back. My heart breaks for each of these women, and so many others who are in similar situations. Unless you are in this situation, it is hard to say what you would or would not do. If someone had asked me one year ago what I would do if Derek was injured, I couldn't have answered. We take one day at a time and do the best we can with the hand we are dealt.<br />
I am probably going home soon. Not for good, but because I need to find a job and take care of my other children. I will be back and forth often, as much as I can. This is tearing me apart. I told someone the other day, who is not part of this lifestyle, and the comment I got was, "He is stable now, so what's the problem?" That may be a simple, academic response, but there is so much more in the heart. I watched him fight back from the brink of death. I like most of his present team, but his primary doctor makes me beyond nervous. Last week, she made a mistake with his pain meds. No, we cannot change. That's ridiculous, but it is how it is for now. That makes me nervous. I am torn. I want to go home, because I feel it is time, but I want to be here, because I feel I can still help, and I am not comfortable with certain situations.<br />
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In discussing this with Derek last night, he suggested I start a non-profit to help wounded warriors. He said, "Why don't you do that Hookers for Heroes?" Wait... what?! Did he really just say that? Yes, he did. <br />
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This concept is running joke among some of us here. One of the wives was in her husband's ICU room and one of the medical staff asked her who she was and what she was doing there. It was the way the question was asked that was just so wrong. Her response? "I thought he was cute, so I stopped to visit." One of the women who work here said to her that her response next time should be that she is with Hookers for Heroes. That would set them on their heels if she responded like that! <br />
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How do you deal with rude behavior from the medical staff, family members, strangers on the street? Humor, sarcasm, and an open mind. Most people do not mean to be rude. They just don't get it. That's why we call them well-meanies.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-60056912345313394862012-03-25T14:52:00.001-04:002012-03-25T15:10:45.303-04:00More Low Down on 62We finally finished our inprocessing. 27 signatures, plus paperwork, interviews, meetings. It was intense, but we finished early. It took us 12 days, and we were given 30. Had to get it done and off our plate so we could move on. Move on to Battle Company, regular appointments, new adventures.<br />
The inprocessing is different for the different services. I was told that the Marines do not need signatures, but they have a page load of appointments. I was also told by a Marine wife that she was told she and her children do not matter... it is all about her husband. Krystina and I were given quite different treatment. We were told that we matter, and if we need anything at all, we just need to ask.<br />
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On the Army side, once the inprocessing is done, you are turned over to your new platoon - either Able or Battle. Then the fun begins. The guys are expected to attend formation three times a week. However, if they have an appointment, that takes precedence. If the formation is mandatory, they will be told to change their appointments.<br />
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What is 62 like? It's a real nice two bedroom apartment, but it has its limitations. I previously posted pictures, a description of the apartment, and the contents of the kitchen, to assist anyone moving over here as to what they need to supply, the space available, etc. Now I will address the difficulties we have experienced. If just one of these make it to the higher-ups who can make changes, we will be happy.<br />
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The grade of the driveway leading to 62 is quite steep. Electric wheelchairs handle is easily, but manual and power assist do not. I guess it's a good workout for them to work those arm muscles pushing themselves up the steep hill, but going down..... guys have fallen. I am concerned that they will be going too fast and will not be able to stop themselves before they reach the road.<br />
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The walkway to the wounded warrior parking lot is also a problem, but that is scheduled to be fixed within the next week or two.<br />
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The parking lot is small and not easy to maneuver. Each lane ends with more parked cars, and it is too small to K-turn, so you must back out of the aisle. Wounded warriors are given a blue hanging tag in order to park in the lot, but spaces are limited. Anyone without a blue tag gets a $40 parking ticket. The first time I went to Pass and ID to get the parking permit for the van I was given a yellow one. I asked a cop who was driving through if it was a problem, and he recommended I park in the America Lot until the next day when I could get the right tag.<br />
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The apartment itself also has limitations. <br />
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- Bathroom. The shower leaks and there is no vent. The basin is not angled so that the water runs into the drain. I guess to make it more stable for the guys. The result? A very wet bathroom floor, pooled water in the corners of the shower, and trapped steam. This causes mold to grow, so cleaning is essential. The shower head also does not stay up and points straight at the wall. I used twist ties to hold mine up, but that is not an option for Derek and Krystina. Derek needs to be able to take down the head to wash himself.<br />
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- Front door. The door is a safety concern. It is heavy and not easy for the guys in wheelchairs to open. There is no "peek hole" and no safety chain, so you have to open the door to see who is there if they do not answer when you ask, and once the door is open, anyone could push right in. The front desk is supposed to refuse to give out the room number to anyone who asks. The proper procedure is they call on the phone and ask if you want to see the person. Then, it is our choice whether the person comes up, we go down, or the person is asked to leave. This was tested a short time ago when someone came who we did not know. They sent him up even when Krystina said, "No, thank you." I pitched a fit, and it will not happen again. It better not. There are certain people we do not want to visit.<br />
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- Beds. Another difficulty in the room is the beds. They are too soft, and as a result, they have given Derek a terrible back pain. I sleep on the floor, because I have an injured back to begin with, but that is not an option for Derek. Operation Homefront had some donated tempurpedic style beds, so Derek was able to get a new bed. It is helping so much. A hurting back was impacting on his ability to function and get to therapy.<br />
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- Keys. Some of the apartments have difficulty with their keys. Some do not. Some of the apartments the keys expire every month or so. We had to have our door reprogrammed yesterday because after getting the keys rescanned twice, they still didn't work!<br />
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- Fire. The elevators stop working in the event of a fire. We are on the 4th floor. Derek cannot do stairs. They assure us that in the event of a fire, fire doors close to trap the flames in one area, and then the fire department comes to the individual rooms and help those who are not able to do the stairs. Doesn't make me feel better. What if the fire is in the room next door? Or this apartment?<br />
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- Warrior Cafe. The food is ... okay. It's not the best. It is expensive. The guys have meal cards so they can eat for free, but if we are not with him, it costs. <br />
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When the building was built, families and wounded warriors were asked what they needed. Simple things like bathroom vent, showers that drain, peek holes and comfortable beds should have been provided without menion.<br />
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Nothing comes without challenges and difficulties.<br />
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On the plus side....<br />
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- The rooms are spacious enough for a wheelchair to maneuver. <br />
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- The closets are large and accessible. <br />
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- The bathrooms have enough space for the wheelchair and the guys to move around. <br />
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- The kitchen is functional, so meals can be prepared and the Warrior Cafe avoided. <br />
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- The Warrior Cafe does have a pretty good variety most days, with vegan and vegetarian options. The other day everything had cheese but the salad, so I was out of luck, but most days there is a better variety. It may have been limited due to the drill they had on base that limited access for over a day.<br />
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- There are pull cords in case of an emergency. The call goes to the duty desk downstairs and someone will respond. There is a cord in each bathroom and two in the living room. The ones in the bedrooms are hidden behind curtains.<br />
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Overall, the apartment is comfortable. Of course there are pluses and minuses.... positives and negatives. That's life. <br />
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The good thing is that life continues. Whatever obstacles we face, we eventually overcome. Everything is temporary. We can do this.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-11578785346429806252012-03-23T23:27:00.012-04:002012-04-18T10:22:04.436-04:00~~Adventures of Gingerbread Baby~~A couple of weeks ago, a first grader from Tennessee sent Derek a gingerbread baby to have adventures with him. We took him with us everywhere, and he had a great time! The following is his story. Because it is being sent back to first graders, I've written it in what I hope is wording that the first graders can read themselves. Thank you for allowing us to have these adventures, Mara and Marisa!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby Visits with Team Derek</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VvO66dw2hsw/T20nLmXAJgI/AAAAAAAAAaY/uZAn8CKcYAk/s1600/DSC02444.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VvO66dw2hsw/T20nLmXAJgI/AAAAAAAAAaY/uZAn8CKcYAk/s320/DSC02444.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby went to Walter Reed in Bethesda, Maryland to stay with</div><div style="text-align: center;">Derek and his family. The hospital cares for soldiers<br />
who are hurt and helps them get better.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby met a lot of heroes in his travels!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gpgga8EKKdo/T20fKUiZo1I/AAAAAAAAAXg/X1KSFwC7uqk/s1600/01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gpgga8EKKdo/T20fKUiZo1I/AAAAAAAAAXg/X1KSFwC7uqk/s320/01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Every day, Derek works out in the Matc (mat see)<br />
(Military Amputee Training Center).</div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby helped him lift weights!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R5MNqDaLVVg/T20fYa889WI/AAAAAAAAAXo/dhxIA9EedW0/s1600/02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R5MNqDaLVVg/T20fYa889WI/AAAAAAAAAXo/dhxIA9EedW0/s320/02.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Derek lost his legs, and Gingerbread Baby cheered him on<br />
when he took his first steps on his new legs!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qp1-RynF8vA/T20fb6IrujI/AAAAAAAAAXw/qe8552vDq34/s1600/03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qp1-RynF8vA/T20fb6IrujI/AAAAAAAAAXw/qe8552vDq34/s320/03.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">All that hard work made Gingerbread Baby and Derek very tired.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Shhhhh. Don't wake them up.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VGuslYoodk0/T20fiuUna7I/AAAAAAAAAX4/5i81ihDZAE8/s1600/05.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VGuslYoodk0/T20fiuUna7I/AAAAAAAAAX4/5i81ihDZAE8/s320/05.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Derek also hurt his arm and can barely move his hand.</div><div style="text-align: center;">He works hard every day so that his hand will heal.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby counted how many blocks Derek was able to move.</div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J8vp2ToAoVU/T20dhatIToI/AAAAAAAAAXY/B-USLmQ7aYY/s1600/DSC02214.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J8vp2ToAoVU/T20dhatIToI/AAAAAAAAAXY/B-USLmQ7aYY/s320/DSC02214.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Some of the heroes played with Gingerbread Baby.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Oh no! Do not eat Gingerbread Baby, Will!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eLDuWOf6ufw/T20fvYH--CI/AAAAAAAAAYA/41BtGM205yg/s1600/07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eLDuWOf6ufw/T20fvYH--CI/AAAAAAAAAYA/41BtGM205yg/s320/07.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby tried on Derek's new legs.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Silly, Gingerbread Baby! They are too big for you.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m0lsCFhlJ2A/T20f60GEWJI/AAAAAAAAAYI/WwBfemvaxX4/s1600/08.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m0lsCFhlJ2A/T20f60GEWJI/AAAAAAAAAYI/WwBfemvaxX4/s320/08.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">That cupcake looks good! Gingerbread Baby was treated like a hero on Valentine's</div><div style="text-align: center;">Day and given a big cupcake by Derek's physical therapist.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1K5Yod7uOyM/T20f_FuXQXI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/bBgU_L6i6OI/s1600/09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1K5Yod7uOyM/T20f_FuXQXI/AAAAAAAAAYQ/bBgU_L6i6OI/s320/09.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Oh, Gingerbread Baby! </div><div style="text-align: center;">Those are for the guys' legs, not your head!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bLv5vzq9nys/T20gDUJVG8I/AAAAAAAAAYY/PrNANw_ozqs/s1600/10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bLv5vzq9nys/T20gDUJVG8I/AAAAAAAAAYY/PrNANw_ozqs/s320/10.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby has to make sure he is healthy.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Dr. Diego gave him a check up.<br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wQf0VC5jjrY/T20gITboIAI/AAAAAAAAAYg/M40eOCXjM6g/s1600/11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wQf0VC5jjrY/T20gITboIAI/AAAAAAAAAYg/M40eOCXjM6g/s320/11.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Service dogs help the heroes and their families.<br />
Bobbie gave Gingerbread Baby a ride.</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-o9b4hRF51JQ/T20gMp4qWsI/AAAAAAAAAYo/jc0s2uIgXsk/s1600/12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-o9b4hRF51JQ/T20gMp4qWsI/AAAAAAAAAYo/jc0s2uIgXsk/s320/12.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby played with Tootsie, Laura, and Bobbie,<br />
three service dogs at the hospital.</div><div align="center"><br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RehXqbCJiMk/T20wciIpnNI/AAAAAAAAAag/-XeAh9__QaM/s1600/04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RehXqbCJiMk/T20wciIpnNI/AAAAAAAAAag/-XeAh9__QaM/s320/04.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div align="center">Gingerbread Baby visited Washington, DC with Team Derek.<br />
It was windy on the top of the Newseum, so Gingerbread Baby hid in<br />
Derek's backpack.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1mtPCHSPbmc/T20gY_kCFNI/AAAAAAAAAYw/T1QmzbV7U-Q/s1600/14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1mtPCHSPbmc/T20gY_kCFNI/AAAAAAAAAYw/T1QmzbV7U-Q/s320/14.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">At the Museum of American History, Gingerbread Baby<br />
pretended to hop on a subway.<br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KHGAcfbiOGw/T20gcWAWFZI/AAAAAAAAAY4/tPcgFg6oXJc/s1600/15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KHGAcfbiOGw/T20gcWAWFZI/AAAAAAAAAY4/tPcgFg6oXJc/s320/15.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby and Team Derek visited the Washington Monument.<br />
Gingerbread Baby is hiding with Derek's sister.</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ivNFhT5v8OY/T20gjM5OkOI/AAAAAAAAAZA/R3vCbWHGhk8/s1600/17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ivNFhT5v8OY/T20gjM5OkOI/AAAAAAAAAZA/R3vCbWHGhk8/s320/17.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby went for a walk around Washington, DC.</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AR-MgjMxqRs/T20goJrQYfI/AAAAAAAAAZI/ZckKF98eVMQ/s1600/19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AR-MgjMxqRs/T20goJrQYfI/AAAAAAAAAZI/ZckKF98eVMQ/s320/19.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby joined Derek's family in the Matc.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tpm-wVmtAUc/T20gsZW4WnI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/u5i1UK8cKc0/s1600/20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tpm-wVmtAUc/T20gsZW4WnI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/u5i1UK8cKc0/s320/20.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Be careful, Gingerbread Baby! Don't let Derek step on you!</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1ch50Ahr7x4/T20gysFEuBI/AAAAAAAAAZY/19hE3aDotZM/s1600/21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1ch50Ahr7x4/T20gysFEuBI/AAAAAAAAAZY/19hE3aDotZM/s320/21.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Derek left the hospital after seven months and Gingerbread Baby</div><div style="text-align: center;">was there to celebrate with him. After a good dinner,</div><div style="text-align: center;">he sat in Derek's favorite chair and watched TV.</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3P93fJM3DR0/T20g4hPN_NI/AAAAAAAAAZg/oIHapjp_aCI/s1600/22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3P93fJM3DR0/T20g4hPN_NI/AAAAAAAAAZg/oIHapjp_aCI/s320/22.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Team Derek went to a fancy restaurant with other heroes for lunch.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby ate so much!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QdDGYeSVfcA/T20hU2zFi9I/AAAAAAAAAZo/aGexgrKregA/s1600/23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QdDGYeSVfcA/T20hU2zFi9I/AAAAAAAAAZo/aGexgrKregA/s320/23.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Don't forget to wash your hands, Gingerbread Baby!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YOSAID0NVPQ/T20if1nvtBI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/fJb606V8kas/s1600/25.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YOSAID0NVPQ/T20if1nvtBI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/fJb606V8kas/s320/25.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Gingerbread Baby drove to New Jersey<br />
with Derek's Mom for a weekend.<br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tGkecABl9-I/T20ikkdkLgI/AAAAAAAAAaA/2w1Zw_oss2g/s1600/28.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-tGkecABl9-I/T20ikkdkLgI/AAAAAAAAAaA/2w1Zw_oss2g/s320/28.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Jessica from Team Allen played with Gingerbread Baby.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nsSgpxArFbM/T20iqJC9n-I/AAAAAAAAAaI/75Pm3XyGlSE/s1600/29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nsSgpxArFbM/T20iqJC9n-I/AAAAAAAAAaI/75Pm3XyGlSE/s320/29.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Derek became sad when it was time for Gingerbread Baby to leave,</div><div style="text-align: center;">so he asked if he could stay a little longer and go to the zoo!</div><div style="text-align: center;">He not only went to the zoo.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rSRxt32BQ1k/T47LlQ7hzzI/AAAAAAAAAao/h5-2rQYhTaE/s1600/dc2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rSRxt32BQ1k/T47LlQ7hzzI/AAAAAAAAAao/h5-2rQYhTaE/s320/dc2.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">"I love history," said Gingerbread Baby as he looked at</div><div style="text-align: center;">the Capitol and the Washington Monument from the Lincoln Memorial.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ww1SlUZmfp4/T47LtG4WycI/AAAAAAAAAaw/wn9GfOgvygs/s1600/dc1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ww1SlUZmfp4/T47LtG4WycI/AAAAAAAAAaw/wn9GfOgvygs/s320/dc1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The whole family went to The National Zoo.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0-vDcWKeEX0/T47L-mXlguI/AAAAAAAAAa4/CKnmimeBqsQ/s1600/zoo5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0-vDcWKeEX0/T47L-mXlguI/AAAAAAAAAa4/CKnmimeBqsQ/s320/zoo5.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">"Thank you for bringing me, Derek,"</div><div style="text-align: center;">said Gingerbread Baby. "I love animals."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">He saw....</div><div style="text-align: center;">lions:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oEA9sWrbb14/T47MRZc97LI/AAAAAAAAAbA/_3QGPaYaKyM/s1600/zoo2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oEA9sWrbb14/T47MRZc97LI/AAAAAAAAAbA/_3QGPaYaKyM/s320/zoo2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">and tigers...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i7iKRMmGgyU/T47MeQBqixI/AAAAAAAAAbI/7gYu83uOe2Q/s1600/zoo3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i7iKRMmGgyU/T47MeQBqixI/AAAAAAAAAbI/7gYu83uOe2Q/s320/zoo3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and little monkeys!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bhBh8aFDvAc/T47MudzbdJI/AAAAAAAAAbQ/9aZl1korYXc/s1600/zoo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bhBh8aFDvAc/T47MudzbdJI/AAAAAAAAAbQ/9aZl1korYXc/s320/zoo1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Oh my!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"I love the zoo."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u1zAoLrha2A/T47NFxJEktI/AAAAAAAAAbY/J3aTuBAvVmY/s1600/zoo4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u1zAoLrha2A/T47NFxJEktI/AAAAAAAAAbY/J3aTuBAvVmY/s320/zoo4.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LnJtZU0pJ9w/T47NVuafP1I/AAAAAAAAAbg/AmSl_IYRLQ8/s1600/zoo6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LnJtZU0pJ9w/T47NVuafP1I/AAAAAAAAAbg/AmSl_IYRLQ8/s320/zoo6.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D9rRcScDKIM/T20kGFHJlEI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/lLSdu79cf-4/s1600/DSC02443.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D9rRcScDKIM/T20kGFHJlEI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/lLSdu79cf-4/s320/DSC02443.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Good bye, Team Derek! I had fun!" said Gingerbread Baby</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">as he prepared to return to Tennessee. Gingerbread Baby missed</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">all of the children in his first grade class. He wanted to go</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">home and make sure the children were working hard!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Team Derek and Gingerbread Baby had a good time.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thank you for visiting, Gingerbread Baby!</div>~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-68414801075861486142012-03-21T13:17:00.000-04:002012-03-21T13:17:41.462-04:00Getting Through ThisEveryone who walks this strange, scary new path deals with it in his/her own way. Some do better than others. Eventually, we either make it through or crash and burn. Most make it through. I've seen the crash and burn.<br />
<br />
My last entry was not directed at one person inparticular. It was a compilation of a couple of experiences. I have seen family members asked to leave because of inappropriate behavior. Someone who came to see Derek in the beginning was almost asked to leave! But for me asking for education and sympathy, she would have been asked to leave. I recently heard of a family member being asked to return home because of drama she caused. I know of a wife who was dealing with her husband dying who asked that certain family members only visit when she was not present, because of the drama they caused. She could give lessons about how to show respect for others while dealing with hell.<br />
<br />
That was the point of my last entry. It was not to criticize or attack. It was to ask for respect for those who also care about our wounded warriors. I told one of my own children recently that I know this journey has been hard on the entire family, but that respect must be shown to those around, especially those who are trying to show support, no matter what hell you are currently experiencing. <br />
<br />
I've seen family members rage and cause problems. Some recognized that the behavior was only a reaction to the stress of this situation and not directed at anyone in particular. Those who apologize for their behavior and do not make excuses for it are the ones I respect. I've seen family members make excuses and try to justify their inappropriate response.<br />
<br />
Is there ever an inappropriate response to traumatic news or experiences? Of course there is! Two such inappropriate responses would be to mislead others or cause pain in others. We can all be forgiven for our inappropriate responses, since we have all had them at one time or another. but it does not make it right. It does not undue the harm that was caused. We don't have to be perfect when dealing with this, but when we stumble, it is so very easy to say, "I'm sorry." <br />
<br />
I wish that I could go back to July 23, 2011 and some how change the events of that day. If I could, I would warn the soldier who stepped on the first IED, so that there was no need for Derek to secure the landing zone. That way, both of the boys would be saved from this journey. Heck, if that were possible, I would go back to 2001 and get the message to the powers that be to stop the terrorist attack that caused our military to be in that God forsaken place! But would that have really changed anything? I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. We don't always know the reason for several years, and sometimes we do not like the reason, but there has to be a master plan, and there has to be a reason for this. Without that belief, I would not have been able to survive the last eight months.<br />
<br />
In the last eight months, my family has been through a lot. Some of it might not seem like a big deal, but when added to the mix, it weighs me down and could be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.... several times over.<br />
<br />
Here is a basic list of what we've experienced (most within the last few weeks, leading to me feeling done, finished and over) (I am not including the stress on Krystina and her family, because that is not my story to tell, and I will not reveal her secrets):<br />
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- Derek was blown up.<br />
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- Derek almost died, and was quite close to dying several times.<br />
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- I had to leave my home, friends, family for the past eight months.<br />
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- I almost lost three children (Derek in July and two others the last few weeks). Three children in three different hospitals.<br />
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- I have no health insurance to pay for two of the hospital stays. I applied for insurance, but it is still pending.<br />
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- I lost my job.<br />
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- I have suffered a severe financial set back that has drained my savings.<br />
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- I've had to raise five children by myself, with no input from their father. It would be so nice to have a partner help carry some of this weight.<br />
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- I had to deal with my ex after his abandonment of the children 12 years prior.<br />
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- I had to deal with my ex and his family acting inappropriate.<br />
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- I had to deal with my ex promising to resolve the child support issues and then reneging once again.<br />
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- My wallet was stolen.<br />
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- I cannot get a parking pass for my car because my vehicle registration was in my wallet.<br />
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- I cannot get another registration without going through the leasing company for limited power of attorney, and then the motor vehicles is in NJ, where I am not.<br />
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- My son's cell phone was stolen out of Derek's hospital room. Thinking it was simply lost and we would find it when we moved to outpatient, I stupidly did not report it/ $640.00 in data charges later...<br />
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- My one year old car has broken down three times since I have been here, and they cannot figure out why.<br />
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- Derek's donated van had its battery die so it failed inspection the first time. I had to leave for Maryland praying we didn't get a ticket for expired inspection.<br />
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- The van's brakes went while out in DC. (Operation Homefront fixed them.)<br />
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- My back and neck have gotten progressively worse because I am not home and available to ongoing treatment.<br />
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- I lost my unemployment because I could not attend a meeting. Things were going on here that caused me to be unable to attend. I am trying to reschedule and reinstate, but they are being.... well.... the state.<br />
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- There are other things I am not comfortable revealing at this time.<br />
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I am strong. I know that. But sometimes even the strong get fed up and have enough.<br />
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We will get through this. No matter how much we suffer, eventually, it will end. I've asked God to give me a break, if even for a little while.<br />
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I won't make excuses. I'm not perfect. I will apologize when I am inappropriate, and I will call others to the carpet when I see inappropriate behavior. When I see something that causes me pause, I want to draw others' attention to it, as well. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all should support each other, but unfortunately, as in all walks of life, some are just in it for themselves. We all try to get through this hell one way or another, but not all of us have good intentions. We, who are in this world, can usually tell which ones will be support and which ones to avoid. We've had people on this journey give us nothing but unselfish support. We've also had others be in it for themselves. I avoid those who prove to me they cannot be trusted.<br />
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Stress is part of this walk. Right now, I have a little too much on my plate. I'll get through it eventually. Until then, I will keep climbing.<br />
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More on Derek's recent journey to come.....~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-25156679871914639832012-03-18T10:37:00.000-04:002012-03-18T10:37:08.939-04:00Respect is a Two Way StreetFirst of all, I am sorry for not doing an entry in a while. Circumstances in my life prevented me from doing so. If I had, this would have been a drama page because what was happening was so overwhelming, and I do not like drama. I did not want to drag everyone else into the drama in which I was consummed. I might list the issues my family has suffered over the last eight months later in another post, but for now, something is irking me.<br />
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I have discussed this issue with other wounded warrior family members (the guys themselves, wives, fiancees, girlfriends and mothers), and most of us seem to be on the same page. However, recently I have come across a couple who certainly march to a different drummer, and it is a drummer none of the rest of us would ever keep beat with - such as begging for money as your focal point, playing with people's emotions, and outright lying or certainly exaggerating about procedures, problems and quality of care. The people who can about our soldiers and follow our stories deserve so much better!<br />
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Those of us who have chosen to share our soldiers' lives are in a unique position to get out to the people what it is really like in the war on the homefront. We can show them our lives in this strange new world. Not everyone will agree with everything we do, and they don't have to, that's okay. However, respect should be shown not only by the followers posting on our pages, but most importantly, by us. <br />
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The people who take the time out of their busy lives to check in with us mean the world to me. Whether you read this blog, follow Derek's facebook page, follow Krystina's page or follow my page, I am so thankful for each and every one of you. You don't have to agree with what I've said or done, I am my own person, and I make mistakes, and I don't always do the right thing, but I am doing the best that I can. <br />
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I am not perfect, and I am not trying to say that only my way is right. This is just my opinion.<br />
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I have never deleted a comment off of Derek's facebook or this blog (even my former caringbridge blog where I was attacked mercifulessly) just because I didn't agree with it or because it was "mean" to me. It is your right to say how you feel. I will respect that. I would only ask that you respect me, as well, and the fact that I am going through a very hard time and not attack me.<br />
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Respect is a two way street. I respect all of the wonderful people who follow our story, even though some of them leave comments I would rather not see. It is my personal opinion that because you are taking the time from your busy lives, we need to be respectful, even when you are not, and we should never, ever use you.<br />
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Now again, I tread carefully here. I really feel the need to stand up for all of you who take the time to come into our lives, but I do not want to outright criticize another family going through hell just because I do not agree with how certain things are handled. There are just some things I feel are so over the top, and I must address them.<br />
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Recently, I viewed a page of a soldier whose journey I have been following and due to an ambiguous status, it had many people upset, including family members. When given the chance to clarify, the page's admin choose instead to attack the people who were asking questions with: "Be happy with what you get. Don't ask questions." (or something like that - the thread has since been deleted.) I'm sorry, but my back went up. These people are supporting your soldier and you first upset them with a status making them believe something horrible and then refuse to clarify and get upset with them for caring? These people have feelings and have taken your soldier into their hearts. They have given you respect, and you repay that respect by attacking them? I'm sorry, that is just wrong.<br />
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We have the right to deal with this journey the best way we know how. No two people deal with tragedy the same. But there has to be common ground. You must show respect, and if you intentionally or mistakenly upset those who are supporting you, you need to apologize, not act out more. The events of the last few weeks with some of these families have shown me that there are some not so nice folks around here. They will use you, play with your emotions, make excuses for their bad behavior, and then blame others when caught.<br />
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All I ask is that we respect one another. For the families, please don't play with our emotions. We all love the soliders and want the best for them and their families. We cheer with you, cry with you, pray with you, grieve with you, and we hurt when you turn on us for caring and wanting more information when you allude to something else. We are not here for you to play with. <br />
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When we choose to share our lives and have people care about and want to follow our story, we owe them respect. We also owe them updates that are factual and clear. We choose how much to share, but when we made the decision to share our lives, we now have a duty to those who came to us and now care about our journey. This is something we should cherish. <br />
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I hope this made sense. I'm just being protective, I guess. I feel for those of us going through this. I not only sympathize, I empathize. But even so, you need to be respectful.<br />
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Have a wonderful day!~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-61526715374321253272012-03-09T10:40:00.000-05:002012-03-09T10:40:52.545-05:00Unblock MeSometimes life is like a never ending game of unblock me. Have you seen that game? It's addictive. You move blocks around in an attempt to free the red one. That's life.<br />
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As each new challenge (board) comes, you are faced with a new pattern of obstacles in your way. Wrong turns get your further entrenched. You move things around and try to get the red block out, but it seems impossible. Some boards (problems) are easy and you see the solution right away. But some bog you down and you just cannot see a way out.<br />
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The problem comes when more than one board loads at once. You try to solve one at a time, but the sheer volume causes a shut down. When you have too many to solve, you cannot find a way out.<br />
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That's life right now. I am stuck in a game of unblock me with about a dozen impossible to solve boards. I am overwhelmed. I am trying to tackle one at a time, but several are screaming at me at once. ~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-34179200486505174802012-03-06T17:53:00.001-05:002012-03-06T17:53:00.100-05:00Celebrating Firsts - An Update - Back to ChildhoodWhen you have a child, you celebrate firsts. The first words, the first solid food, the first full night's sleep, the first steps. Having a wounded warrior is very similar. <br />
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Krystina and I have been celebrating the little things and all of Derek's firsts since he was injured. His first words, his first food, the first time he sat up on his own, first steps, etc. <br />
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The notable firsts are as follows, and not all are something to celebrate:<br />
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First day without legs - 7/23/11 (Derek laughed at this one.)<br />
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First smile - 7/30/11 (Day after admission to Bethesda when Krystina told him her mother was going to kick his ass.)<br />
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First day off ventilator - 8/4/11 (Only lasted four hours.)<br />
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First day off dialysis - 8/18/11 (25 days after injury) (Derek was in acute renal failure after his injury.)<br />
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First phantom pain started - 8/20/11 (27 days after injury) (This is actually a good thing because it means the nerves woke up.)<br />
First day in wheelchair - 9/8/11 (47 days after injury) (41 days after admission to WR)<br />
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First successful break from ventilator - 9/9/11 (48 days after injury)<br />
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First words - 8/4/11 - "I'm sorry this happened" and "Chocolate milkshake."<br />
9/9/11 - "Krystina" and "Siobhan"<br />
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First food - 9/13/11 (52 days after injury) (Jello during swallow study.)<br />
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First trip back to ICU - 9/26/11<br />
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First time off trach (decanulated) - 10/26/11 (95 days after injury)<br />
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First time off antibiotics - 10/29/11 (98 days after injury)<br />
First time off oxygen - 10/29/11 (98 days after injury)<br />
First night alone - 11/1/11 (101 days after injury) (one-to-one discontinued.)<br />
First shower - 11/4/11 (104 days after injury)<br />
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First day in Matc - 11/21/11 (121 days after injury)<br />
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First pass - 11/24/11 (124 days after injury)<br />
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First pee the normal way - 11/29/11 (127 days after injury)<br />
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First time sat up by himself - 12/14/11 (150 days after injury)<br />
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First time picked up something with his injured hand - 12/28/11 (164 days after injury)<br />
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First time rolled over on his own - 12/30/11 (166 days after injury)<br />
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First time transferred from the chair to the bed and back again - 1/5/12 (172 days after injury)<br />
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First time standing - 1/31/12 (198 days after injury)<br />
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FIRST STEPS!!! - 2/9/12 (207 days after injury)<br />
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First overnight pass - 2/22/12 (220 days after injury)<br />
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First weekend pass - 2/24/12 (222 days after injury)<br />
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First night as an outpatient - 2/29/12 (228 days after injury)<br />
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So, like a child again, we are back to celebrating firsts. <br />
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It is also like having a child again, because you are learning everything all over again. After a warrior is injured, he has to learn to feed himself, walk, write, everything. And you have to be prepared to help him through this.<br />
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Your diaper bag from the first childhood is replaced with a medical bag. If he has a colostomy, you need to have all of your colostomy supplies in case something happens. You need the medications and bandages for any wounds. You need a change of clothing. You must always be prepared.<br />
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But although this is a trip back to childhood, temporarily, it is not forever. Although life is forever altered, the wounded warrior moves on to learn to do more for himself, except in the case of severe TBI. In that case, it really is like having a child again.<br />
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You love him, so you do what you need to do.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-51421516819579882502012-03-04T20:31:00.000-05:002012-03-04T20:31:53.006-05:00By The Numbers - An Update The following is Derek's hospital stay by the numbers, as of the day he became an outpatient (I previously did a similar entry, but now that he is an outpatient we have a copy of his discharge paperwork, so I was able to get this to a more accurate count).....<br />
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Days in the hospital - 228 days<br />
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Days at NNMC/WRNMMC - 222 days (one day more than seven months to the date of his arrival)<br />
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Surgeries - 36<br />
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Procedures - 19<br />
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CT Scans, X-rays - too many, I lost count! Basically, he glows and his kids will be born with three arms.<br />
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Blood products - 129<br />
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Days in SICU - 53<br />
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Days on ventilator - 54<br />
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Days on oxygen - 98<br />
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Days on contact precautions - 114<br />
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Number of Medications (inluding vitamins and supplements) at discharge - 16<br />
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Medical teams involved over course of stay - 34<br />
Trauma, PM&R (Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation), Orthopedics, Orthopedics Hand, Endocrinology, Internal Medicine, Urology, Plastics, Nueropsyche, Infectious Disease, Gastrointerology, Hepatology, Nephrology, Oral Maxillofacial, Dental, Anesthesia, Radiology, Acupuncture, Social Work, Behavioral Health, TBI, Audiology, Assistive Techology, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Respiratory, Complex Wound Team, General Surgery Wound Care, General Surgery Colostomy Care, Dietary, Amputee Clinic, Seating Clinic, Speech Pathology and Nursing. Now that he is an outpatient, add Warrior Clinic.<br />
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I cannot even begin to count the number of doctors! We went through three primary residents on the trauma team, Obi, Ben and Diego, and two on the PM&R team. There have been numerous interns and residents that have cycled through. Residents change about every two months and interns every four weeks, but that might depend on the service. Attendings are supposed to stay the same. <br />
As for special visitors, I could try to count, but I would probably lose count halfway through. We've had Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Jill Biden, Rodney Freylinghuysen Congressman from NJ, Jack Reed Senator from RI, Kansas, Montel Williams, Kid Rock, Sgt Slaughter, Joe Westphal (Undersectary of the Army), Gen Dempsey, Gen Chiarelli (former Vice Chief of Staff, Army), Gen Lloyd Austin (new Vice Chief of Staff of the Army) Gen Franks, CSM Grippe, Gen Odierno (Chief of Staff, Army), Director of NCIS, Wee Man, John Voight, etc.<br />
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Care packages? Cards? Letters? No way to count. We really appreciate all of the love and support from the community. Without that support, this journey would be so much more difficult. <br />
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Jobs lost since injury - 2<br />
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That's the entire hospital stay by the numbers! Now on to outpatient and bigger and better things!<br />
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Climb to glory!~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-70208733544105916172012-03-03T20:45:00.002-05:002012-03-03T21:00:39.530-05:00The Lowdown On Being An OutpatientI read emails and comments from people who have walked this path previously, but Derek commented that he felt they were exaggerating as to how intense it was. Let me set the record straight. This is not an exaggeration. This is the down and dirty truth about the start of the journey as an outpatient.<br />
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Of course, this is our experience and the way that I have seen things, thus far. I have heard from others that they had similar experiences. I spoke at length to a mother and fiancee on Friday who gave me their experiences, and, so far, it feels the same as what we are experiencing. Depending on your Warrior's level of functioning, both mentally and physically, your experience could be quite different. The important thing to remember is that you are finally on the next leg of this journey. Also, you have one month to complete the Warrior In-Processing, and you need to relax and take your time.<br />
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While an inpatient, the Warrior goes to the Matc for a few hours (generally two - an hour of OT and an hour of PT) and then can "relax" in the hospital room for the rest of the day. Of course, there isn't much rest in the hospital with the revolving door, but you do not have to go anywhere. As an outpatient, you leave your room in the morning and for six to seven hours, you are on the go. It strains the nerves and drains the stamina. Derek was quite overwhelmed his first day, as were we all.<br />
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When your Warrior is first released from the hospital, the WTB and the Squad Leader are supposed to help you not only remove all items from the hospital room, but make sure that all of your belongings are removed from the Navy Lodge or Fisher House or wherever else you might have been staying. Although the Squad Leader was quite helpful getting the items removed from Derek's room, we received no help removing our belongings from the Fisher House. Actually, I was harassed during one of Derek's appointments to get my things out immediately, after I had been previously told I had the weekend. I could not leave Derek's appointment at that time, so we had to wait until his appointments were completed at 1515 (3:15 p.m.). We were offered a van, but only until 1500 (before the end of Derek's appointments), but not offered bodies, that we really needed to help us remove our things. In the pouring rain, Krystina, my Dad, and I removed all of the items from the Fisher House. It was a lot. Over the past seven months, people gave us a lot of stuff. We both arrived with two small bags. We were then brought down winter clothing by our families. We also received clothing, blankets, bags, games, etc. from visitors and care packages.<br />
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The day you are actually released, you first meet with the Squad Leader who briefs you on what is expected of you as an outpatient and gives you forms to complete. Please remember that you have one month to complete everything, and you need to go at your pace. If the squad leader or anyone else rushes you, tell him/her to take a chill pill and relax. Tell him/her that you will get it done, but that your Warrior's well being is paramount. Sometimes the people with whom you are working forget that. Sometimes they are wonderful, but sometimes....<br />
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First of all, accountability is very important, as it was in the regular military before the injury. Your Warrior is expected to call the Squad Leader every morning before 0730 to let him/her know that he is still alive and well. You may make the call for him.<br />
Your Warrior is also expected to attend formation.<br />
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Formation for the Marines is every morning, in uniform, at I believe 0800 or 0730. The Army has formation on Monday and Friday at 0830 and on Wednesday at 0900, at least Battle Company does. There are three companies for the Army - HHC, Able and Battle. HHC is for inpatients and those in transition for the first month. Of course, appointments take precedence, unless otherwise advised, so if there is a scheduled appointment, formation may be missed. If it is a manatory formation, appointments must be rescheduled.<br />
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Your Warrior is most likely already scheduled to attend the Matc for OT and PT every day. As an inpatient they were more lenient with missed appointments. Not so much as an outpatient. Also, as an outpatient, your Warrior is now expected to spend more time in the Matc working out on his own. During this time, you might be able to escape for a little while, since it is not always necessary to hold his hand while he works out.<br />
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Your Warrior is required to attend several appointments in the first month and obtain signatures after the appointment or briefing. There are about 27 signatures required. Those signatures include the Warrior Clinic, 24 hour risk assessment by the social worker, 3 day risk assessment by the social worker, mail room, dental, nurse case manager, finance, solder assistance center, unit billeting, tricare, AW2, OT, etc. Some of these can be completed before discharge, but that information was not provided to us. Some of the signatures can be obtained in the New Warrior Briefing on Friday mornings at 0745. The New Warrior Briefing should take care of 9 signatures. The Briefing takes about two hours and must be attended during the first month.<br />
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In the first twenty-four hours, you must go to the Warrior Clinic, see the nurse case manager and squad leader, and have a 24 hour risk assessment. In addition, you are expected to make your appointments at the Matc.<br />
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Thereafter, your Warrior is scheduled for appointments with the various medical teams involved in his care, such as Ortho, Endrocrinology, TBI, etc., in addition to the appointments required to obtain the needed signatures. These appointments are made by the nurse case manager (NCM), who will work with you. If your Warrior is not up to more than one or two appointments in addition to the Matc, tell the NCM and he/she should be accomodating. Capt Bowser certainly is working with Derek.<br />
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An additional appointment that might be necessary and is not part of the check list is with DEERS to renew the ID card and the AKO. Without an active ID card, many of the appointments cannot occur. We are going on Monday, hopefully, since our day was a little too busy Friday. We also hope to get to the mail room and obtain not only the required signature, but a PO Box. Also on Monday we have the Matc and the three day risk assessment with the social worker. Another long day.<br />
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The meeting at the Warrior Clinic is with the new PCM (Primary Care Manager). As an outpatient, your Warrior has almost all new doctors. Some of the doctors in various services might stay the same, such as ortho, but for the most part, a new team takes over the outpatient care. Thankfully, Derek will still be followed by Dr. West, the only doctor who has been a member of Derek's team since the beginning.<br />
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As an outpatient, your Warrior no longer sits in the hospital room and has labs, x-rays and doctor appointments at bedside. You must now go to them. Derek is going to be seen at wound care, Matc, Warrior Clinic, Wheelchair Clinic, Amputee Clinic (PM&R), TBI, Neuropsyche, Endocrinology, Ortho (for ongoing treatment on his hand), social worker, and any other service determined by his NCM and PCM. Each Warrior has different services that he must see.<br />
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The NMA is expected to attend all appointments. This makes it quite time consuming and stressful on the NMA. Many of the warriors have diffculty with memory, whether it be from TBI, PTSD, anxiety, or the medications, so the NMA is an invaluable asset. The purpose of the NMA is to assist in keeping appointments, attend to the daily needs that your Warrior cannot do himself, etc. Some of the NMAs have more responsibility than others, due to the level of care the Warrior requires. Basically, the NMA is agreeing to put aside his/her own life for the period of time that the Warrior requires care. A job, schooling, etc. is not possible when he/she is required to accompany the Warrior to all appointments, and make sure all needs are met. This is why the NMA is entitled to a daily allowance. NMA orders are issued on a thirty day basis. The NMA can be alternated so that one does not become too overwhelmed, and to allow the NMA to travel home, see family, attend to his/her own needs, etc.<br />
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On the plus side for NMAs, there are a lot of caregiver events and benefits that the SFAC, Yellow Ribbon Fund, and NMA Caregiver Support Group, as well as others, offer. These include spa days, movies, dinners, lunches, etc. One thing that the NMA must insure before attending, though, is that the Warrior's needs are met and he will not be in danger while he/she is away.<br />
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We have spent one full day as an outpatient, and it was overwhelming. We have 5 of the 27 signatures we need, but we also have four weeks to obtain them all. We almost had another one, but Derek's ID card is not working, so we have to go to DEERS on Monday (hopefully). Just one more stop to make.<br />
Friday, Derek went to wound care, OT, PT, Dr. West, the Warrior Clinic, and met with the pharmacist to input all of his medications. We left the room at 0900 and returned at 1700, after completing all appointments and emptying the Fisher House. To say we were all tired on Friday night is an understatement.<br />
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This weekend, we are relaxing, unpacking, organizing, and recouping for a busy week ahead. We all got to sleep in this morning. Derek and Krystina had a relaxing weekend on Derek's first overnight pass last weekend, but since I was at another hospital with Ryan, this morning was the first morning I was able to sleep in since Derek was injured. It was heavenly.<br />
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Now a look at the accomodations of Building 62. The Warrior is given a two bedroom apartment. There is a full kitchen, a living room, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. One bedroom has a double bed and the other has a single bed. The beds are lower than regular beds to allow them to be more easily accessible to those in wheelchairs. There is a TV, computer and printer in each bedroom. Each bedroom has a large, walk-in closet and a bathroom with a large shower. <br />
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The living room area has a reclining chair, couch, TV, DVD player, and a small table with two chairs. There are also lamps, side tables, and an alarm clock in each bedroom and the living room, as well as a landline telephone in the living room. <br />
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The kitchen contains the following: microwave, dishwasher, refrigerator, six pots/pans (all on the smaller side), and four each - bowls, plates, mugs, small plates, knives, forks, spoons. There are also two towels, two washclothes, and two hand towels, as well as one set of sheets for each bed. The checklist we were given listed 10 oz and 14 oz tumblers, but our apartment does not have them. The SFAC has some cleaning supplies that you can get, and there is a vacuum cleaner at the front desk that may be signed for when needed.<br />
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o set up the apartment, you will need to get paper products (toilet paper, paper towels, etc.), food, towels, laundry detergent, dishwashing liquid, etc., since all of these things are necessary but not provided. Many people also get additional items for the kitchen, such as mixing bowls, serving spoons, carving knives, crock pot, toaster or toaster oven, coffee pot, etc.<br />
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The Warrior Cafe is downstairs where the Warrior can eat for free with his meal card, but sometimes it is just nice to have a home cooked meal.<br />
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That's the story, morning glory. I've tried to give a comprehensive look at the first stage of outpatient, and the apartment. Hope this helps those of you coming behind us to know what to anticipate, and to know what you need to buy to set up the apartment. If I've forgotten anything or if there is a particular question that you have, leave a comment and I will do my best to address it!<br />
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Thank you for continuing this long journey with us! We are closer to the top than ever before. Climb to glory! All the way! To the top! I'll meet you there with a cold drink and a big smile.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-30132202833158635212012-02-29T20:54:00.000-05:002012-02-29T20:54:54.514-05:002 sons, 2 hospitals, 2 states, 1 Mom torn in 22 special sons<br />
2 different hospitals<br />
2 far-apart states<br />
2 broken cars<br />
1 stressed Mom torn in 2<br />
<br />
(Thank you, Yvette, for that statement.)<br />
<br />
In the past seven months, I have almost lost two sons. It's almost too much for me to bear.<br />
<br />
Seven months ago today I arrived in Bethesda, MD to await Derek's arrival. So much has happened since then. When it was time for the kids to start school, I broken heartedly let my children return to NJ to live with my sister.<br />
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They have visited many times, but I miss them every day.<br />
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On Friday I received a 911 message that my sister was trying to reach me. My 17 yr old son, Ryan, was being rushed to the Emergency Room.<br />
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Ryan is 6'4", skinny as a rail, and he has a gerbil on his face that he calls his goatee. <br />
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He was sent home from school not feeling well, and a short time after he arrived home, he collapsed. At the ER, they determined that he had a spontaneous pnuemothorax. Tall, skinny, young males are prone to them. (Watch out, Dr. Diego!) They immediately placed a chest tube to reinflate the lung and suction out the air. The doctor later told me that if my sister had not been home, Ryan would not be with us today. It was a life threatening event.<br />
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Needless to say my Friday was not a good day. I have two broken cars, so I had no easy way to get back to Jersey. My heart was breaking not being with Ryan during this time. Finally, I decided to suck it up and rent a car. I cannot afford it, especially with no job, but I had to get home and I could not wait on the wonderful SFAC to arrange a flight or whatever. <br />
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I arrived back in Jersey at 9 on Friday night, and I stayed in Ryan's room, with the exception of a few hours on Sunday. <br />
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After five days in a civilian hospital, I can unequivocally state there is just no comparison. WRNMMC is so much better. What an experience this weekend was. No fun.<br />
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He was finally released on Tuesday morning, and I returned to Bethesda on Tuesday night to assist Derek with oupatient.<br />
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Ryan is a trooper. The kid has amazing stamina and pain tolerance. He was released with a remaining five percent plural effusion, but the doctor believes he will be okay. We just have to watch him.<br />
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Torn to pieces. I wanted to be with Derek during his first weekend pass. I really needed a relaxing weekend to sleep in. But Ryan needed me, and I wouldn't pass on running to his side. Then I wanted to stay with Ryan to make sure that he was okay. But I had to place him in my sister's competent hands so that I could get back to Derek. The doctors were holding Derek's release until I came back. They say the first few weeks are very intense, so I want to be there to help Derek and Krystina navigate. But I want to be with Ryan. No matter where I am, I am torn.<br />
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Derek was told he was being discharged today. He has been here seven months today. It would have been poetic justice. Oh well. Tomorrow. Some say it's because they wanted to give me time to get back, and some say it was because he didn't go to the Matc yesterday. Whatever it is, tomorrow should be the day. <br />
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Yes, things are getting better for Derek, but that doesn't stop the onslaught of stress and difficulties that seem to come out of the woodwork on a daily basis.<br />
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I'm still sitting here torn in two. The stress on my shoulders is starting to break me. Come on, God. It's time to start picking on another family. I need a break. ~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-30677754679787791022012-02-23T22:14:00.000-05:002012-02-23T22:14:54.781-05:00A Few Steps Closer to Release!Seven months ago today, I received the worst phone call of my life. For days, we were in shock. We begged for even the slightest iota of information. Things looked grim. Every phone call revealed more bad news. I felt as if the week was dragging as we waited for word that we could leave for Bethesda. Once we arrived in Bethesda, my heart broke at the first sight of my boy. Every visit from the doctor, revealed more bad news. <br />
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That was seven months ago. This has been a long, hard journey. We have had good days, and we have had horrendously awful days. Derek was lost in those dang woods for months. We spent 53 days in ICU. Those horrendously awful days appear to be in our rear view mirror. In the last seven months, we have come so far. We are climbing that mountain, and soon we will be at the top!<br />
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The last couple of days have been hectic, to say the least.<br />
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Last Thursday, Derek finally said "good bye" to his specialty bed. He wanted to be ready for the regular bed in Bldg 62.<br />
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On Friday, the family traveled from NJ to spend the weekend with us. They arrived around midnight. Sean went straight to Derek's room to spend the night with him. On Saturday, it was off to DC! We spent hours exploring the Smithsonian Museum of American History.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-s_uvJ4ahVeQ/T0bu0IMU_3I/AAAAAAAAAVw/LRJv_bVKn1w/s1600/DSC02235.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-s_uvJ4ahVeQ/T0bu0IMU_3I/AAAAAAAAAVw/LRJv_bVKn1w/s320/DSC02235.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We know the price of freedom...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4t8gIwOVkNw/T0bvFO-VsdI/AAAAAAAAAV4/tnMXcxo2Ctg/s1600/DSC02262.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4t8gIwOVkNw/T0bvFO-VsdI/AAAAAAAAAV4/tnMXcxo2Ctg/s320/DSC02262.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
One of the most interesting exhibits was the original flag that was gazed up by Francis Scott Key when he wrote the Star Spangled Banner. It looks like it has been through a war, and large chunks were removed over the years as "souveniers," but it is still there. It is still proud. It is still our flag.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mtOfTq0dJTk/T0bv7j3-lZI/AAAAAAAAAWA/p5POvKBnvW8/s1600/DSC02269.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mtOfTq0dJTk/T0bv7j3-lZI/AAAAAAAAAWA/p5POvKBnvW8/s320/DSC02269.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>After the museum, we walked up to take a look at the Washington Monument. Thereafter, we tried to go to Georgetown Cupcakes, but the traffic was too bad, so we headed back to the hospital.<br />
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On the way, the van started lagging. Then it started smoking! I told it to quit that nasty habit, but what can you do? We limped back to the hospital, and the guys from the command center came out when they saw the smoke and smelled the stench. They believe the parking brake might have engaged while I was driving. The wonderful people who donated the van to us called by brother-in-law and insisted that they pay for the repair. We will see. I am having a non-profit look into it, and they might be able to cover the cost. <br />
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When we returned, my sister pulled out this wonderful blanket that was made for Derek by the third grade CCD class from Our Lady of the Lake in Verona, NJ. All of the children placed a hand print on the blanket.<br />
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Derek had some severe pain issues on Saturday evening. He called the covering doctor for some relief, the relief his regular doctor told him he could have. She wouldn't do it. First she gave him some pain medication that in the past had not worked. Then she told him to wait until after his night meds. Then she gave him a heat pack. Really? Okay, let me cut off your legs and let's see if a heat pack works for you. This is a kid who sweats profusely. It was not a good night. The cobblestones in DC really hurt him.<br />
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Sunday, due to the pain issues and lack of assistance on Saturday, and due to the down and out van, we hung out at the hospital and ordered a pizza for dinner. It was great to catch up with the family.<br />
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But come Monday, we were ready to venture out a little. I called Barwood Cab, and I was told that they needed 24 hours notice for a wheelchair van. I broke down and called Regency Cab. We have had prior bad experiences with Regency. The driver who took us to the Army Navy game was .... how do I put this nicely? Not the brightest bulb in the box? Not the sharpest crayon in the box? You get the point. Then on Christmas Eve, they stranded us at the hospital when we wanted to go to dinner. I should have known that Regency and the Cheesecake Factory would not be a good match.<br />
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I asked the dispatcher if they could guarantee me a return ride at seven. They told me yes. They told me that someone would be there at seven. At seven, after a wonderful meal at the Cheesecake Factory, there was no cab. I called and I was informed that they would not be able to get me a wheelchair van for at least an hour, and they could not even guarantee it then.<br />
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Oh, the power of facebook. I posted that we were stranded, and Dr. Bitonti called someone at the hospital, who called me right away and started looking for a ride. Also, Rob Kumph, an NCO in the Army, called the Command Center for them to find us a ride.<br />
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In the meantime, my sister had the brillant idea of getting Derek into her car, and then having the boys lift the 370 lbs chair into her truck. It worked! Krystina, Kellina and I hung out at the mall while Yvette and Brian drove the rest of the crew back in their cars. <br />
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On Tuesday, we all trekked to the Matc for Derek's workout. First, he had OT, and then PT. The family really wanted to see Derek walk. So, he put on his prosthetics and took a stroll!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XL6yqYJsupc/T0b41wv6jVI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/_uhnekDouVQ/s1600/DSC02300.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XL6yqYJsupc/T0b41wv6jVI/AAAAAAAAAWQ/_uhnekDouVQ/s320/DSC02300.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>It was great to see Derek standing with the other kids for the first time in seven months!<br />
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And then he had another first...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xgSq66AnhKQ/T0b7xtjKvBI/AAAAAAAAAWY/PJRQxn0Yzek/s1600/DSC02317.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xgSq66AnhKQ/T0b7xtjKvBI/AAAAAAAAAWY/PJRQxn0Yzek/s320/DSC02317.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>He walked with a walker! Yes! Next he will be using crutches and the harness and walking the track!<br />
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It was so great that Derek's family, all the people who matter the most to him (with the exception of Krystina's family and some of our extended family in NJ, FL and CA), were there to see this! Derek said it felt good.<br />
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When we got back to the room, we had a visit from Randy Couture, an MMA fighter.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L60Ax99hkFc/T0b8oTssmyI/AAAAAAAAAWg/mHiYIg78hao/s1600/DSC02322.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-L60Ax99hkFc/T0b8oTssmyI/AAAAAAAAAWg/mHiYIg78hao/s320/DSC02322.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>Then it was time to say good-bye, once again. I hate good-byes. The only good part about saying good-bye is knowing that they are in your heart and that you will see them again. But I miss them so much.<br />
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When the mail arrived, Derek had a very special blanket sent to him from Joann Contreras Fuoco, a former CCD teacher, and her students at Fair Lawn High.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zvVYhUG9uHo/T0b9mX0_nII/AAAAAAAAAWo/6t_bI3hi4mI/s1600/DSC02323.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zvVYhUG9uHo/T0b9mX0_nII/AAAAAAAAAWo/6t_bI3hi4mI/s320/DSC02323.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
Wednesday night was the next milestone in Derek's journey - his first overnight pass. We went to our room at Building 62. It's wonderful. None of us wanted to return to the hospital, but this has to be done right in order to ensure success.<br />
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Today, we went with the 10th Mountain Association for lunch at <span class="fwb">Fogo De Chao Churrascaria, a Brazilian BBQ in DC. Oh my. The amount of food was sickening! </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gO40arTxXPQ/T0b-1jQVGDI/AAAAAAAAAWw/u1EAvwwOKzY/s1600/DSC02338.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gO40arTxXPQ/T0b-1jQVGDI/AAAAAAAAAWw/u1EAvwwOKzY/s320/DSC02338.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span class="fwb">We sat with Sgt Grundy and his amazing service dog, Willie. </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZiS7JxakQXE/T0b_G8NHueI/AAAAAAAAAW4/NycIqm_vSY8/s1600/DSC02339.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZiS7JxakQXE/T0b_G8NHueI/AAAAAAAAAW4/NycIqm_vSY8/s320/DSC02339.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="fwb">"Drop some for me, Daddy?"</span></div><br />
<span class="fwb">Back at the hospital tonight, but a weekend pass is in our sights! Tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday, three nights, we will be in 62. If all goes well, the paperwork will be processed for .... wait for it ... wait for it ... OUTPATIENT!!! It's about time! We've waited long enough!</span><br />
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<span class="fwb">So, here we are. So much further than we were seven months ago tonight, when I didn't even know if Derek would survive. We are making that climb. We are climbing to glory.</span>~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-16393020763785070582012-02-22T16:23:00.000-05:002012-02-22T16:23:28.637-05:00Only Out For Money - The Down and Dirty Truth About This JourneyThis entry is breaking my heart. Unfortunately, there are scammers and selfish people in all walks of life. We encounter them often and do not even know they are around us until something happens. Please, be vigilant. Be aware. Be careful.<br />
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We have all heard about the emails from Nigeria or from some old lady begging us to help get a large sum of money released in return for a "reward." We have been told to be careful giving our personal information out to people who claim they can help us. This entry is a warning that, unortunately, I and many others around here have encountered in the wounded warrior world. This one breaks me.<br />
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There are those WW families who hold out their hands for donations as soon as the injury occurs. They claim that personal expenses are not paid for by the army. They claim that the WW needs so much because he is left with nothing. Let me tell you the truth. But first, I am not perfect, and I am not writing this to pat myself on the back (honestly, I have low self esteem at times and tend to downplay my achievements and capabilities). I am simply using our story, as well as others, to highlight how I have found this journey and what we have encounted thus far.<br />
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When Derek was first injured and I received that horrible phone call, I was advised that someone from the army travel department (whatever it is called, I cannot remember right now), would be calling me with information. I received that call within a few days, and I was advised of the following: If Derek was not able to make the flight from Germany or if his condition was grave in Germany, the military would fly me to Germany and house me at the Fisher House. When I told them I did not have a passport, they told me I would then go first to DC and get my passport at the State Department. They told me this would be all free of charge. I was also advised that once it was confirmed where Derek was headed stateside, I would be flown, free of charge, to the closest airport where I would be met by a liaison who would transport me to the hospital. I was also advised that three family members could be issued Invitational Travel Orders. Those three family members would be issued a plane ticket, reimbursed for any other travel expenses incurred, given lodging, and given a daily allowance. When I asked about additional family members, they said a non-profit would provide transportation and lodging for them. When I advised them that I planned to drive to Bethesda, I was advised that my travel expenses (tolls and mileage) would be reimbursed.<br />
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I dropped everything and ran to be by his side. Money was the last thing on my mind.<br />
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After I arrived, I was given a travel voucher to list my tolls and mileage. Because I had more important things on my mind, it took me about a month to complete it, but not for lack of the Army's trying. SFAC, WTB, WTU and AW2 visited constantly, at least one each day. My son Michael never did complete his. He has been on orders and the only thing he has requested was the lodging. He has never filled out a form to request reimbursement for his mileage or tolls, or to receive the daily allowance.<br />
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Michael was placed on orders because I was told Derek's girlfriend (now fiancee) could not be.<br />
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Within the first few days of arriving, the three of us on orders, myself, my son Michael, and my ex, were sat down and told about the travel expenses, lodging and daily allowance. We were also told about non-profits who could help with extended family as well as other expenses we might have. All of this occured within the first week.<br />
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Yes, in the beginning, we were given so much information on financial matters, medical concerns, etc. that my head was swimming. But I was also given business cards from everyone so that if I had any questions or could not remember what I was told, I could call.<br />
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Let me review what we are entitled to receive while here and while Derek is still an inpatient: lodging for three people on orders (the rooms are also large enough for other family members who are not on orders to share), a daily allowance, and travel expenses for one round trip. Any additional travel expenses and lodging can and will be covered by a non-profit (Hero Miles, Yellow Ribbon Fund, etc.)<br />
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Within the first month, I was told about non-profits who help with some family expenses - Walter Reed Society, Operation Homefront, etc. Please see my "resources" tab for a list of wonderful organizations.<br />
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In addition, Derek is entitled to a car grant and a housing grant. The car grant is for $18,000, I think. Since Derek is not in need of a vehicle right now, we have not completed that paperwork, and I really do not remember the exact amount of the grant. I do know that the vehicle will be modified so that he can drive it. For now, we have a van that was donated to Derek by Bob and Karin Ruppel. The housing grant is around $63,000.00, and it can be used towards a new home or to modify an existing home. There are also organizations who will take the grant and build a house that meets his specifications. There are some restrictions involved with that, and when Derek gets to that point, we will investigate them.<br />
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Derek is also eligible for social security disability and for a VA "pension" that will be the portion of his salary that they determine he is entitled to receive. At this point, we are expecting him to be 100% disabled and entitled to 100% of his present salary. So, going forward into the future, Derek will receive his current salary plus social security. This will most likely not be enough to sustain him and pay his personal and future family expenses, but hopefully, he will be able to get an education and find a job.<br />
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Most of the wounded warriors are entitled to everything I have outlined above. There are exceptions when the WW sustains what they consider to be "minor" injuries that do not result in a disability, such as a broken bone.<br />
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However, all wounded warriors are entitled to a payment from the TSGLI. This is traumatic group life insurance and caps out at $100,000.00.<br />
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So, what is the point of this entry? *deep breath*<br />
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I want everyone to know about all of the things that our wounded warriors and the family members can receive while on this journey. I want you all to be aware that while we have lost so much, we also are entitled to so much. I want you to be vigilant when donating your hard earned money. I want you to be aware that not everyone is like us, and some will take advantage.<br />
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Now, why would the families need help?<br />
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The following examples are some, not all, of the reasons, and these usually come to light after a couple of months, not immediately.<br />
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We have limited access to non-profits that pay for our personal expenses, such as mortgage, utilities, car payments, etc. There are some, like the Walter Reed Foundation, who will help with some family expenses, but on a limited basis. <br />
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A lot of us are let go from our employment. There is a Military Family Medical Leave Act that will protect employment for 23 weeks, but it only applies to businesses with more than 50 people. While the right and moral thing to do in support of our military would be to grant an unpaid leave for as long as the soldier requires assistance, that is not often done. Many of us on this journey have been let go while caring for our loved ones. I spoke with a wife recently who was told she either has to return or resign. While I understand the employer's position in these circumstances, the right and moral thing is to assist the family. Can it really be that difficult to allow an unpaid leave of absense?<br />
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Right now, I am in the position of having to find a new employment in a terrible economy, as are many of us. In the meantime, I have personal expenses to cover, such as a car payment, car insurance, mortgage, utilities, health insurance, food, etc. Some of these I can receive assistance with from a non-profit. I have three unemancipated children to support, and I do not receive child support. My ex has refused to pay. I did recenty hear from an attorney on his behalf to try to negotiate child support, but it has been over a week and I still do not have the proposal. He is also not paying in the meantime. I have savings that are adequate for now, but within another couple of months, I will be in trouble. It is hard for me to ask for help. I am swallowing my pride and reaching out to non-profits for assistance. <br />
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When Krystina first arrived, she was not on orders. She used her savings and her parents' financial help. I also drove her down with me, paid for many of her meals, and allowed her to stay in my room. Don Patterson arranged for the Marines to assist her with gift cards for a couple of months. Finally, Derek was awake enough to terminate his father's orders and place Krystina on orders. However, when she was not on orders, she never put out her hand and asked for donations. She never asked me for anything. I did not ask people to send money to her to help her. We took care of her.<br />
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That brings me to fund raisers. <br />
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Derek has had two fund raisers (possibly three but I will address that below), both established and run by friends of the family. I did not ask for these fund raisers. That never even crossed my mind. I do not use Derek's support page (www/facebook.com/teamderekmcconnell) as a way to ask for money. That page is solely for encouraging words for Derek and to show him that the community is behind him. We also use it to get the word out about non-profits, other wounded warriors, and other bits of news we think is important.<br />
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When the fund raisers were scheduled, my family stepped forward to help run them. The fund raisers were billed as raising funds to help the family expenses while Mom was with him, as well as for Derek's future needs. The money was deposited into an account for Derek. Derek has asked me to allow him to use that money to pay for my expenses. I do not want to do that unless it is absolutely neccessary. In the event that I do use some of those funds, trust me, it will be posted on Team Derek, and I will address it here. I believe that anyone who has donated money to Derek is entitled to know exactly how that money is being used. <br />
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At this time, cash that was sent to us has been used to buy our meals. Any checks that were sent directly to me were deposited into my bank account and used to pay my mortgage, and utilities. Any checks sent directly to Derek were deposited into his bank account and are being saved for his future.<br />
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My friend, who is a wounded warrior wife, has donations that were sent to her husband in an account to build them a house so they do not have to use one of the non-profits. A wounded warrior wife, with whom I disagree on most accounts, especially her posting what I consider to be inappropriate pictures, has not used her husband's support page to beg for money. Most of the support pages I have seen have a link or reference for donation if someone wants to help, but the majority of the postings are about the wounded warrior's progress. Money is not the main issue. Unfortunately, there are some who mostly discuss donations, including one I found yesterday.<br />
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Do we need donations? Yes. There are certain expenses and needs that are not covered and income now and in the future just is not sufficient to cover them. Into the future, most of Derek's medical needs will be covered by tricare, but not all. He will also need a lot of specialty items, of which some will be provided, but others will have to be purchased by him.<br />
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In my own personal opinion, I do not believe that soldiers who sustain a mild injury and are returned to their units shortly thereafter are in need of donations, but I could be wrong. I, unfortunately, encounted one such instance since our arrival here. A soldier received a broken bone, was treated in Germany and sent home for two weeks to recover. Sent home. Not transferred to a stateside hospital. His family did not have to travel anywhere, take time off of work, or incur any expenses as a result of his injury. After two weeks at home, he reported to his home base to be redeployed. Yes, he was injured in battle. Yes, he was entitled to receive his purple heart. Yes, he was entitled to be honored as wounded in combat. However, it is my opinion that since he did not sustain a lasting injury, and since he does not have any additional expenses not covered by the military, he is not in need of donations. Of course, I do not know his personal situation, but from what I saw posted on his support page, it does not seem that he has a need, but there are so many others who do have that need. But you can make up your own mind on that one.<br />
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I firmly believe that no family should ever profit from their loved one's injuries, no matter how severe. Unfortunately, I have also seen this.<br />
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In my own personal situation, I was advised that a company was raising money for Derek. When I asked for that money to be transferred to Derek, I was told that it was only a few dollars raised by family and friends for this individual's and his family's personal travel expenses. His family did have some travel expenses for the one and only time they came to see Derek. The individual? Not so much.. He was on orders and entitled to lodging and a daily allowance, as well as one flight. The two additional flights could have been covered by Hero Miles. I know for a fact that he completed and submitted a travel voucher requesting reimbursement from the army. I do not know whether or not payment was ever received by him from the army. I do know that he submitted his expenses to the fund raised for Derek and he received payment. I do know that he never told us about this fund, and that my mentioning it in a previous entry was how the fund knew to contact us. The balance of that fund has now been forwarded to Derek. We thank them wholeheartedly for their generosity.<br />
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I know of a mother who demanded that donations made to her son be given to her not to her son, the wounded warrior.<br />
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I spoke with a wife whose family took money meant for her husband, a wounded warrior, and then denied that they had the funds.<br />
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I spoke with a wounded warrior who sent his mother home after she withdrew a substantial sum of money from his account and denied it.<br />
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I spoke with a mother who took over her son's financial affairs after his wife took off with the TSGLI payment.<br />
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I spoke with a mother who intended on using funds donated for his son's benefit to finally take the vacation she desperately needs. Wait.... what? Yes. She actually told me she was looking forward to finally being able to go on vacation. Yes, I told her I did not think the people who donated the funds meant for her to go on vacation. Her response? She would take her son with her, if he wanted to go, but she really needed this, and of course she would wait until her son was an outpatient. Still wrong, in my humble opinion.<br />
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I also recently learned about a support page that is pushing a fund raiser for family who are not on orders. They first posted a claim that as long as the soldier is on active duty, he and his family are on their own for expenses, and that they would not be entitled to anything until he was discharged from the army and was then affiliated with the VA. That is not true. As long as he is an inpatient, three family members can receive the benefits I stated above. As an outpatient, one person will be listed as NMA (non-medical attendant) and entitled to those benefits. When this was pointed out to them, they changed the story to two family members who are not on orders and in need of help. When non-profits were pointed out to them, they became indignant and said, "Read the last post," and they deleted my comment and my friend's comment, both of which were trying to help them and giving them information about the non-profits. It was at the deletion of the comments that I first came to the conclusion they are only out for money. This breaks my heart. According to them, this soldier is severely injured and will need help and the family has to have their expenses paid because the military refuses. Yes, the soldier needs help, but the family should be taken care of by the military and non-profits. And unfortunately, the greed I see on that page is showing us that the money will be used by the family when there is no or little need. Of course, this is only my opinion, which is also the opinion of a couple of my friends and a few people from whom I've seen posts.<br />
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Bottom line, please be careful before you write the check. If you have concerns or even if you want to help a broader base, post that you are donating to a specific non-profit in the soldier's name, and advise the family that they can reach out to that organization for help. I am heartbroken that our wounded lose so much and then need to deal with greed. In my perfect world, from where I reside on Hope Island, no one would ever steal from another, and all of our wounded would be the priority (well, not that there would be wounded if it was my perfect world, but you get the point).<br />
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I am so thankful for everyone who came out to pray for, support, and love Derek. Those former strangers who opened their hearts and lives to us are forever in my heart. For that reason, I urge you to be careful. We care about you and do not want to see you taken advantage of.<br />
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With God's blessing on this Ash Wednesday, I sincerely thank you.<br />
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(An entry about our hectic weekend and the blessings of this week is coming soon!)~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-23717577759511961772012-02-17T23:15:00.000-05:002012-02-17T23:15:00.857-05:00Making That ClimbThe last few days have been full. Derek continues to rock it out in his recovery. He actually made it to the Matc all five days. He did so great that his PT is giving him Monday off. That's so awesome of her, especially considering the Matc is closed for President's Day. <br />
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"Meg" is Derek's OT, the OT whom we have dubbed Meg (as in Family Guy) because he is part of the family now, but he is SO negative. We do love him, but he told Derek today he only made it three days, because two of the days he came at 1300, instead of his usual time of 1000. Really, Meg?<br />
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Derek walked three days this week. Dr. Kim and the pups were on hand to watch him today.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8QVk2hoUXIY/Tz8QMH_zj0I/AAAAAAAAAVY/Rb1QoxNrvLg/s1600/A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8QVk2hoUXIY/Tz8QMH_zj0I/AAAAAAAAAVY/Rb1QoxNrvLg/s320/A.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Archie was off today, but Tootsie stood in for him. Above are the three pups with Gingerbread Baby. Did I tell you about Gingerbread Baby? He was sent to us by this adorable first grader from Clarksville, TN. He is having adventures with Derek, and when he is finished, we send him back with the story of his journey. There are more pictures of Gingerbread Baby and his adventures so far on Team Derek - <a href="http://www.facebook.com/teamderekmcconnell">www.facebook.com/teamderekmcconnell</a>.<br />
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Derek's balance has also improved so much! He is almost completely steady on his new legs. He is still in the parallel bars, but I see him in the harness and walking the track in the near future!<br />
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What is also in the near future is our first overnight pass. That's right! Guess who is going to be an outpatient soon? This guy! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kPZ7CC5D77g/Tz8RFOTeRVI/AAAAAAAAAVg/raR4dQ1AaAw/s1600/DSC02228.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kPZ7CC5D77g/Tz8RFOTeRVI/AAAAAAAAAVg/raR4dQ1AaAw/s320/DSC02228.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue;">Look, Ma! No hands!</span></div><br />
It is within two weeks! Felt like it would never come. Now we are on the eve of moving out of the Fisher House and into Building 62!<br />
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Also, yesterday I went to pick up a copy of my orders. I was met with a nasty lecture. Seriously? He told me that he wasn't going to renew my orders because I did not go to see him every week for the past six months. He told me that when he briefed me, he told me I had to sign in every week. First of all, he didn't brief me. He took over in September. I arrived July 29th and was briefed the first week in August. Second of all, I did sign in every week. The sign in sheet was brought to us every Monday. He said that was for finance, not for him. And we were supposed to know this? Please, dude, give it up. So, that brings me to my "lastly." Lastly, we are living through hell. We DO NOT need your nasty attitude lecturing us. <br />
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Thankfully, his boss agreed with me. I met with his boss today, and he wants to use what happened to me as a catalyst to make changes. Yes! Kick that nasty attitude in the rump! Dump it in the trash! I am sorry, okay maybe I'm not, but anyway --- we have enough to deal with without having to deal with attitudes. As I've told people, there are only three attitudes allowed in Derek's room, and we are not allowed to take those attitudes with one another!<br />
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Medically Derek is improving. His cholesterol medication was increased, but his numbers dropped drastically. It is just preventative. The night time meds are not really working, so he is working on it. His pain is better controlled, so that makes us happy. Now that he is off the IV pain meds (yes, he went cold turkey against medical advice), he is brighter and has more energy. One problem is his pinky swelled up and turned black and blue and red and pink. Dr. Kim says it looks like cellulitis (???)(a skin infection), and she prescribed an antibiotic. Looking at it, it does remind me of what has happened to my fingers at times. The concern is that it is on his right hand, the one he has had all the surgeries on. So, we have to watch it carefully.<br />
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In August Derek developed a blood clot. They started giving him Lobanox twice a day. It is a terribly painful shot. Derek likes it when it is given fast. He has 10 more shots of this to go! When prescribed, they want to give it for six months. If the patient is released from the hospital before the six months, the NMA is required to give the shot. Derek's last day is Thursday, Feb. 23rd. Since he is having his first overnight pass on Wednesday, I asked if he could stop on Wednesday, so neither Krystina nor I would have to give that awful shot. Thankfully, they agreed. However, all the talk about it gave Derek an idea. Last night, he asked if he could do it himself. He did it. He stuck himself with that awful shot. He didn't do is 0600 dose, because he was asleep, but he did it again tonight. Go, Derek!<br />
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Tonight, as I write this, my sister, my brother-in-law, my three nephews, and my four kids are on their way! Yes! I miss them SO much! Tomorrow, we plan on hitting DC.<br />
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When I returned to the room tonight, I opened the "other" folder in my messages folder on facebook. I just heard about it recently, and tonight was the first night I checked it. There were so many wonderful messages in there from people I don't even know. When I add them to the comments I receive here and the many comments on Derek's support page, it truly humbles me and warms my heart. Our journey is touching so many people. Your kind words of encouragement and praise really do help. It also humbles me that some of the medical staff check in here. When I have a tough day, like I did this afternoon, your words help lift me up. This afternoon I slept in the chair due to another migaine. <br />
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This is a highly stressful situation, even though we are making progress. I've lost so much on the journey, and now that Derek is finally going outpatient, I have to fight to get it all back. It's tragic that we watch our loved ones suffer and fight for life, and then have to rebuild our own lives. One thing this journey shows us is who we can and cannot count on in our lives. Derek made some tough decisions to delete people from his facebook who have not supported him through this journey. I, too, know who has really been there for me and who gave me lip service. I know now who my true friends are.<br />
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I know I am not alone in this journey, as much as I feel I might be at times. I have my family, my friends, and all of you. And you are not alone either. Tragedy happens. Bad winds blow our way. How we handle them is up to us. We DO NOT have to let it get us down. We CAN climb to glory! All the way! To the top! Hey, I'll meet you there and we'll take a picture of the amazing view!~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-47626167873058002842012-02-14T23:44:00.000-05:002012-02-14T23:44:28.826-05:00Valentine's DayHappy Valentine's Day to you and yours! I hope this day was one of love and hope. I don't care if you are married, engaged, single, a Mom, a Dad, a grandparent, a favorite aunt or uncle, a confirmed bachelor/bachelorette, a crazy cat lady, whatever. Whatever your situation in life, I hope you found love and joy and hope and happiness today.<br />
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Personally, I am not a fan of Valentine's Day. I think it's an overpriced marketing ploy, and I think if someone shows you love all 365 (or 366 as in this year) days of the year, that is a lot more important that showing love with roses and candy and jewelry on one day of the year. A lot of the time, if a man does not get his woman the right Valentine, or send flowers, or be all romantic, she gets mad and then a fight ensues. Or, if someone is alone on Valentine's Day, often he/she gets all depressed because he/she is reminded of being all alone. There are so many other important things in life, and if you can find love with your friends, family, kids, whomever, be content. Some of us are just not meant to find a partner. I've stopped looking. I find my love with my kids, friends, family, and my kitty. No, I am not a crazy cat lady, she says as she coughs up a hair ball.<br />
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So, for all the lovers out there, if you didn't get the perfect Valentine but he/she remembers you on other days of the year, be thankful. And for those of us who are single, hope you had a fabulous day finding love in places you least expected it! <br />
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Just think.... tomorrow all that candy will be ON SALE!<br />
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What is Valentine's Day anyway? Does anyone know how it started? <br />
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Valentine is a saint in the Roman Catholic religion. So, if you like Valentine's Day, thank a Catholic! If you don't, you can add this to the long list of things we Catholics get blamed for. <br />
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There are a couple possible martyrs who might be the original St. Valentine after whom this day is named. One defied Emperor Claudius II and performed marriage ceremonies for young soldiers. Claudius had forbidden young men to marry, because he thought single men made better soldiers. Valentine was ordered to be executed for his defiance. Other stories suggest that Valentine was executed when he helped Christians escape Roman prisons. While imprisoned prior to his execution, Valentine sent a love letter to his jailer's daughter and signed it "from your Valentine."<br />
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Some believe that Valentine's Day coincides with his birth or death, but others believe that it was selected as his feast day to Christianize the pagan festival celebrating fertility. That festival is called Lupercalia and is in honor of Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture. It is also in honor of the two founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus. No, not the two little creepy dudes from the Hercules movie. Eventually, Lupercalia was outlawed, but Valentine's Day was still not associated with love as it is today.<br />
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During the middle ages, people in England and France believed that the middle of February was the beginning of birds' mating season. Valentine's greetings started around that time, and the oldest known Valentine still in existence today is reported to have been from 1415. It was written by Charles, the Duke of Orleans. He wrote it to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. <br />
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Today, Valentine's Day is celebrated in the United States, Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. Originally, lovers exchanged small tokens of affection. In England, in the 1900s, written letters fell out of popularity and were replaced by printed cards. In the US, mass produced Valentine's started around 1840 when Esther A. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, started selling her cards. Personally, I think a written letter would be so much nicer. <br />
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It is estimated that Valentine's Day is the second most popular holiday for cards. 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas, and 1 billion are sent for Valentine's Day.<br />
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There is a little history lesson on Valentine's Day. How did you spend your Valentine's Day? Was it all you hoped it would be? If not, if your Valentine is wonderful on the other 364 days of the year, give the guy a break. If he promised you a great Valentine's Day and failed, then go ahead and beat him. I'll loan you the Derek's beater.<br />
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Speaking of Derek, he is a little romantic. When he was a child, he told me he would give his girlfriend a wooden rose, because then it would never die. He greeted me this morning with a big, "Happy Valentine's Day, Mom!" And he bought Krystina a pretty pair of earrings from the Zales website. <br />
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Yesterday, I got together with Jessica, Laura, Heather, RoseMarie, Eliza, Margaret, Jessica's two little cuties, and a couple of others to put together Valentine's Day baskets. The items were donated by the Yellow Ribbon Fund, Operation Ward 57, the Aleethia Foundation, the Beehive (a group of ladies, one of which is a friend of mine on facebook) and other individuals who wanted to send donations. We received candy, toiletries, stuffed animals, drink mixes, travel sewing kits, and a bunch more! <br />
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We set up a little assembly line and put together dozens of baskets, wrapped them in cellophane, and tied pretty little ribbons on them.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Today, I went downstairs and helped get the baskets loaded up onto carts, and then we delivered them. The purpose was to give a basket to the wounded warrior so that he could give it to his caregiver. Since the guys are unable to get to the stores themselves, this allowed them to have something nice for that special Mom, wife, girlfriend, fiancee, whomever was there by his side. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We had a good time passing out the baskets, and the guys we spoke with were very grateful. Two were left in Derek's room so he could give them to Krystina and me. He was at the Matc at the time, so we left them in the room. We left a basket in each room where the wounded warrior was not in at the time we visited. We had a list from our wonderful escort, Chris, who told us whether to leave one or two, depending on who was with the wounded warrior. Since there aren't as many wounded warriors on the floor now, they went to Bldg 62 and passed them out, too.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">After the baskets, I headed down to the Matc to watch Derek kick some butt working out. He really has improved a lot. He is getting off the IV pain meds, and we should be outpatient within a few weeks.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When we returned, Derek handed me my basket and said, "Here's the basket you made and gave to me to give to you, Mom."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The rest of the day was spent relaxing, until it came time to order dinner. Krystina placed the order at 1600 (4 pm), and after several calls and being told they were "running behind," a nice lady brought Derek a tray. It wasn't what he ordered, but it was food. The problem? It was delivered at 2000 (8 pm), four hours after we placed the order. We were not told they were running late when the order was placed, and when Krystina followed up and called at 1700 (5 pm), she was told it was on the way. It wasn't. I called at 1800 (6 pm), and I was told to be patient. We bought Derek dinner at the Wedge, because it was getting ridiculous. Unfortunately, he is not the only patient who went without his dinner because of whatever happened in the kitchen. I will be following up on this tomorrow.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Anyway, hope you had a wonderful day, and that every day is filled with love, hope, peace, and all the blessings you deserve.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">We are making our climb to glory. Hope you, too, climb to glory. To the top. All the way. I'll meet you there with a box of those yummy Valentine conversation hearts!</div>~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-5968494159173732082012-02-12T02:29:00.000-05:002012-02-12T02:29:00.419-05:00A Jaunt Around the Newseum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xcYs4SHIfTU/Tzcz-a31DeI/AAAAAAAAASQ/t5zkV4Zpcus/s1600/DSC02206.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xcYs4SHIfTU/Tzcz-a31DeI/AAAAAAAAASQ/t5zkV4Zpcus/s320/DSC02206.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
When I was at the Hudson Institute dinner, I met a very charming man, Shelby Coffey, who invited us to tour the Newseum. He gave me his contact information, and when we were ready to go, I emailed him.<br />
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The Newseum is six stories of awesomeness. <br />
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The wonderful thing about the Newseum is that it portrays our history, as a nation, a country, a world, a people. It has newsworthy events that will remind you of your childhood and bring back many memories, not only joyous, but difficult and heartbreaking, too. Have you heard the saying that people always remember where they were when JFK was shot? Well, our generation remembers where we were when we heard about the terrorist attacks on 9/11. What else do you remember being newsworthy when you were a child? I bet you can find it at the Newseum!<br />
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Bobby met us at the door. We had tickets waiting for us, and Bobby showed me to the VIP parking. We were then shown to the orientation video. Outside the theater on the first floor, we found our way to the FBI exhibit. Many of the items in the FBI exhibit I remembered when they occurred.... 9/11, Ted Kaczynski (the Unabomber), Timothy McVeigh (Oklahoma City bombing), the Branch Davidians in Waco, TX. Other newsworthy events I remember learning about... Patty Hearst, The Lindburg Baby, the Mob, the KKK. <br />
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The FBI exhibit had parts of an airplane, credit cards, and a police cruiser's door, among other items, all of which were found at Ground Zero.<br />
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</div>9/11 holds special significance for me. A dear friend lost her husband that day in the North Tower: Kevin Hannaford, Sr. I was teaching in a Catholic school in West Orange on 09/11/01. The principal came to the door and told me that the Twin Towers were gone, the Sears tower was bombed and Washington was under attack. Okay, she was strange. I asked her where the Twin Towers went, and she snapped at me, "They're just gone. Don't tell the children." I went back in, added a link to our prayer chain (construction paper slips linked together with prayers written on them), and gathered the children around me for to say a rosary for all who were in danger or hurting. We often gathered for prayers, so this was not so unusual for them. That night, I learned about Kevin.<br />
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What was also interesting for me in the FBI exhibit was the Unabomber's actual cabin. <br />
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</div>My former town, North Caldwell, was put on the map on December 10, 1994 when Tom Mosser was killed by the Unabomber. I remember the day well. My ex and I were bringing the children to a Kearny Police Dept Christmas party when the Fire Department was called to the scene. My ex was a volunteer firefighter. I took the children to the party by myself. North Caldwell was also put on the map as the location of Tony Soprano's home, and the show was even filmed in part there, but that's another story.<br />
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After the FBI Exhibit, we saw a portion of the Berlin Wall. I remember stories my father told me about when he was in Germany and saw the Berlin Wall. I also remember the day it came down. Pres. Reagan said, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!" Below is a picture of the West side. The East side has no art work.<br />
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From there we ventured upstairs to watch a 4-D movie. We all know what 3-D is. That's when you wear a funky pair of glasses so it looks like parts of the movie are jumping out at you. Well, 4-D is the total experience. I didn't think the moving chairs added much to the film, but the wind and other effects were cool, and when the "rats" crawled up my legs during the story about Nellie Bly's investigation of an insane asylum, I about jumped out of the seat! The movie was a look into the early part of certain aspects of reporting, such as live news reports and investigative journalism. It was very interesting, and if you go to the Newseum, I recommend you do not skip the 4-D experience.<br />
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Outside the theater were front pages from the newspapers at the time of the Civil War, including one about President Lincoln's assassination. <br />
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There was also a wall where famous people from the Civil War were "tweeting" the events of the day as if Twitter was around at that time.<br />
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After the movie it was time to feed our faces. The french fries and chili were delicious! Derek and Krystina chowed down on cheeseburgers.<br />
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After lunch, we went to the express elevator to the top. This I did not enjoy. Anyone who knows me knows how I feel about heights. Well, the only part of the elevator you could not see out of was the floor. I did not like that. Also, the center of the Newseum is open, so while you are on the sixth floor, you can look over the edge down to the lobby. My equilibrium was all out of kilter.<br />
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At the top, we wandered around the outside terrace where there was a wonderful view of the Capitol Building. Even looking at the picture below sends my head reeling. I'm surprised I was able to take it!<br />
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Once back in the safety of the building, we wandered around reading headlines from decades ago. It brought back not only a lot of my history classes, but memories from childhood. We saw headlines from WWII, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, elections, 9/11, and so much more.<br />
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</div>The most emotional exhibit is on the 4th floor.<br />
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They have the antenna from the North Tower. <br />
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I have a photo of that antenna when it stood on the North Tower. I spent a lot of time on the top of the South Tower when I was in law school. I attended New York Law for one year, before transferring to Seton Hall, and we used to go to the roof all the time. See, as I said above, I am not a fan of heights. Okay, that's putting it mildly. I hate heights. I am terrified of heights. I cannot help but visualize falling or being pulled over by an unseen force as I try to keep myself grounded. So my buddy Rosie and my friends in law school wanted me to go to the top of the Twin Towers and beat that fear. They often dragged me up there for lunch or to just hang out. It almost worked. I felt semi-okay up there after a while. I just kept telling myself that those buildings were sturdy, going no where, and that they would be there forever. My fear was so much better after spending so much time with friends at the top. When the towers fell, my fear came back harder than ever.<br />
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Within the 9/11 section, there is an exhibit of photographs by Bill Biggart, the only journalist to die at Ground Zero. He ran to the towers after they were hit and started taking pictures. He died when the North Tower collapsed. His pictures of the event are amazing. You can see his photos at: <a href="http://www.billbiggart.com/911.html">http://www.billbiggart.com/911.html</a><br />
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As I stated above, my friend's husband died on 9/11, and I found his name on the list, as I always do when I see a list of those wonderful people who perished in the worst terrorist attack on our nation. I remember the night my mother walked in and told me that Kevin was presumed gone. I rarely saw my mother cry. She was sobbing that night.<br />
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</div>There is also a short film about 9/11. It brought tears to my eyes numerous times, and I usually don't cry, just like my Mom, but when they started talking about Cantor Fitzgerald, I lost it. The tissues outside the theater were a nice touch.<br />
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After the 9/11 exhibit, we saw photos from the Presidental photographers. They had such cute shots of the various Presidents with their families, pets, and generally living, as well as some yelling at aides, and going about their daily lives. <br />
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We also saw political cartoons, Pulitzer winning photos, and a map of where there is and isn't freedom of the press in the world.<br />
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</div>The green represents where there is freedom of the press, the red where there is not, and the yellow where there is partial freedom of the press. It's sad that so much of the world does not have freedom of the press. But I wonder.... why is our press as one sided as they appear to be at times? I really wish reporters had to take a vow to report the news and only the news and keep their own personal opinions to themselves. I want to walk away from a news report with the facts so I can make up my own mind. Heck, I'm crazy like that. I'm not one of the sheeple. I do not like any news report where it is blatantly obvious how the reporter himself will vote. When I turn on an opinion show on Fox, MSNBC, or CNN, I know what I am expecting to see. But when I turn on a news report, I only want the facts, without bias.<br />
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We spent five hours wandering around the massive Newseum. It was not enough time, but we saw a lot! We will definitely be back.<br />
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Derek said he wished we had left the Newseum for last instead of seeing it first, because he does not believe any other museum will be able to measure up. It really was fantastic.<br />
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Derek was out and about and in his chair for over seven hours today. Yes! He was exhausted and sore, but he did it. Also, I manuevered my way in and out of DC without the help of my Tom Tom, that chose a terrible day to die. Tom Tom's untimely demise left me in a tizzy as we were starting off, but I quickly recovered and we had an amazing day.<br />
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Returning to the hospital we were flooded with news of Whitney Houston. Okay, it's sad. I get that. I get that she was a celebrity and her death is news. However, why must it take over everything? This is a touchy subject for me because Amy Whinehouse died on July 23, 2011. I will never forget that date, because it is the day that Derek met the IED that didn't agree with him. While I sat at home all weekend begging for even a small iota of information about his condition, every channel I turned to on TV (except Disney), as well as all over facebook, I was inundated with Amy Amy Amy. I really didn't care. I just wanted news about Derek Derek Derek.<br />
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I was a journalism major in college, and I did a lot of writing. I researched news stories, and I did my senior thesis on the Lockerbie, Scotland bombing, Pan Am Flight 103. I love to write. I would have loved to be a reporter, but my life took a different turn. So, I have to ask, why don't we see more reports about our military? Almost every day, young men and women are killed or wounded defending this country. We are at war. Every day, I see broken men and women struggling to put back their lives and learn to live in their new normal. They have wonderful, never quit attitudes, but this is hell. These stories are heartbreaking, inspiring, and emotional. These men and women are heroes. They are people our children can emulate. So many celebrities are not. Do you really want your children to be like Amy or Whitney or Lindsey? <br />
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If heartbreak or bad news sells, then why not show all of the men and women who have been killed defending this country? As of the end of December 2011, there were about 2,700 coalition casualties in Afghanistan, almost 1,800 of them Americans. How about telling the stories of our wounded? How many have been wounded? 10,000? More? Why can't we tell some of the stories of our real American heroes? Let's give our children someone to look up to, someone who they can strive to become, instead of someone who is addicted to drugs, parties all the time, and worships the almighty dollar.<br />
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There was a reporter who used to announce as part of his nightly broadcast the names of the KIA and the number of wounded each day. That stopped about three years ago, when it suddenly became politically incorrect to discuss such things.<br />
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Okay, so this is an emotional topic for me. I am doing this blog, managing the Team Derek page on facebook (<a href="http://www.facebook.com/teamderekmcconnell">www.facebook.com/teamderekmcconnell</a>) (along with Krystina and Kellina), and screaming from the top of the Washington Monument in an effort to get the word out to everyone about the face of the war on the homefront, the struggles of our wounded warriors and their families, and the struggles of all of our military after they come home (PTSD, difficulty reintegrating, etc.).<br />
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Finally, I believe that in this digital age where most people text, tweet, facebook, or email, "thank you" are two words that are not used enough. I believe that if someone helps you in even the slightest way, whether it be a card, a prayer, assistance making contacts for a special project, help finding a new job, whatever, "thank you," should always follow. So, thank you. Thank you for all you have done to help us along this journey. Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for sending us cards, letters and care packages. Thank you for talking about us to others and getting the word out about our wouned warriors. Thank you for joining Derek's support page on facebook: <a href="http://www.facebook.com/teamderekmcconnell">www.facebook.com/teamderekmcconnell</a>. Thank you for reading my story. Thank you for donating to Derek and the family so that we can meet our expenses. Thank you for joining us on this journey. Thank you for your comments and posts of encouragement. Thank you for being you.<br />
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Climb to glory. All the way. To the top. I'll meet you there, as long as I cannot see how high were are, with a jukebox so we can dance all night and celebrate our successes.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-79879173981675190172012-02-09T13:05:00.000-05:002012-02-09T13:05:14.557-05:00Walking With My Wounded Warrior - FINALLY!!This is too exciting not to shout right at the beginning. Forget building up suspense.... suspense has been building for over six months. So, here you go..... the big news is:<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong><em><u>DEREK WALKED!!!</u></em></strong></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3Vx3ENPZDDc/TzQFvtFHbDI/AAAAAAAAARw/KYY9n_A0IyU/s1600/DSC02148.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3Vx3ENPZDDc/TzQFvtFHbDI/AAAAAAAAARw/KYY9n_A0IyU/s320/DSC02148.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The above is the actual first step!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">When we went to the Matc today, we expected for Derek to have the prosthetic for the left hip. It is a bucket that straps around his waist. See picture below:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">We expected Mike to strap on the two prosthetics and have Derek stand in the tilt table again, but he offered to allow him to attempt walking between the parallel bars. Derek was a little hesitant because his regular PT is on vacation this week, but because my Dad is visiting, he decided to try it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">He stood for a few minutes to get his balance and then tentatively took his first step. The facility pups were there to lend support and a "barking" section.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7ko45DpTTM8/TzQHdpAJR_I/AAAAAAAAASA/oy4tXpIChfQ/s1600/DSC02156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7ko45DpTTM8/TzQHdpAJR_I/AAAAAAAAASA/oy4tXpIChfQ/s320/DSC02156.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">We didn't expect it to be today, and we didn't have the iPad to record it. Krystina and I used our phone and camera, and we are trying to upload it. Facebook is the first stop on the uploading train. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">In addition to this awesome news, we are waiting for Dr. Kim to come and discuss medication changes so we can get Derek on the road to better pain management and outpatient! 3-5 weeks away, Dr. Kim guesses. She came yesterday while Derek was asleep, so Krystina and I aired our concerns with her. Before any changes can be made, she will discuss it with Derek and see if he is okay with it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">He continues on the low fat/low cholesterol diet to reduce the fatty liver. He hates it, but oh well. Suck it up, soldier. We want you with us for years to come, not dropping of a heart attack after coming so far.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">This is a huge milestone in our climb to glory. Walking is a big step, excuse the pun. A lot farther to go, but we will make it! Climb to glory! All the way. To the top. I'll meet you there with balloons and streamers!!</div>~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-21348622799199233482012-02-08T14:23:00.000-05:002012-02-08T14:23:54.210-05:00A Purple DayYesterday was quite eventful. The morning started with Derek's Purple Heart ceremony.<br />
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Captain Brooks from the WTB (Warrior Transition Brigade) came to present it. We also had a full house to celebrate and honor Derek. We had the doctors - Dr. Kim, Dr. Sam and Dr. Himmler. We had some nurses - Katie, Emily and one I didn't recognize. We had the puppies and their Mommies - Archie and Bobbie, and Moms Amy and Lisa. Laura Lee came a little late. Archie's handler Marshall was also there. Julie from AW2 and Captain Hook from WTB. Lt Col Mike Crumm, Derek's former nurse case manager. Corpsman - Allen and Dennis. Lyndsey from wound care. Liaisons Gilmore and Lane. OT Joe (a/k/a Meg). Squad Leader - SSgt Jones and the First Sgt Gomez. Lt Col Jones from WTB. And then, of course, Krystina and me, and my Dad came down from NJ. That's 25 people! This is a little room! There was lots of love for Derek. Wish his siblings, aunt, uncle and cousin could have made it down from Jersey, plus other friends and relatives, but this was a quickly scheduled, small ceremony.<br />
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It was cancelled and rescheduled several times on Monday. I had to fight to get this scheduled, and it was wonderful. Derek didn't care who presented it, he just wanted it done while he was awake. So glad it is done.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2S6nKUyr6j8/TzK-plUIBxI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/KwZvmaGC9sE/s1600/Derek+and+Mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2S6nKUyr6j8/TzK-plUIBxI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/KwZvmaGC9sE/s320/Derek+and+Mom.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u9_Pvd8O5mU/TzK-spt2I3I/AAAAAAAAARA/VD7geOp_LSA/s1600/Derek+and+Krys.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u9_Pvd8O5mU/TzK-spt2I3I/AAAAAAAAARA/VD7geOp_LSA/s320/Derek+and+Krys.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Derek and Papa</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-avGb1gZ8L8o/TzK-wshRTcI/AAAAAAAAARI/5p5XK9YxVOs/s1600/Derek+and+Pop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-avGb1gZ8L8o/TzK-wshRTcI/AAAAAAAAARI/5p5XK9YxVOs/s320/Derek+and+Pop.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Dr. Kim and Dr. Himmler</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_YdQBlcX0t0/TzK-0g937YI/AAAAAAAAARQ/xtE2tkCW6fA/s1600/Derek+and+Kim.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_YdQBlcX0t0/TzK-0g937YI/AAAAAAAAARQ/xtE2tkCW6fA/s320/Derek+and+Kim.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Katie!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cRb_43FS2c0/TzK-3TWsHrI/AAAAAAAAARY/Q-quVdHlf34/s1600/Derek+and+Katie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cRb_43FS2c0/TzK-3TWsHrI/AAAAAAAAARY/Q-quVdHlf34/s320/Derek+and+Katie.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Lt Col Crumm</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rV5bJ4qa4tE/TzK_ASdAlvI/AAAAAAAAARg/Q-tBFrYlhDQ/s1600/DSC02091.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rV5bJ4qa4tE/TzK_ASdAlvI/AAAAAAAAARg/Q-tBFrYlhDQ/s320/DSC02091.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The presentation</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1PECrh_8eFo/TzK_HSf7A-I/AAAAAAAAARo/L7nUv9YC_gA/s1600/presentation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1PECrh_8eFo/TzK_HSf7A-I/AAAAAAAAARo/L7nUv9YC_gA/s320/presentation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Yes, Sgt Archie sat on the bed for the ceremony. He was great, until everyone started clapping, and then he got antsy. He is the protector.<br />
<br />
After the ceremony, we took Derek to the Harp and Fiddle for lunch. It was great to get out with him.<br />
<br />
When we returned the nurse case manager who snapped at me yesterday was standing there. Even Krystina noticed that she exudes attitude. She told me, "This is not going to work if you don't change your attitude." Excuse me? You DO NOT speak to me like that! She's gone. Today we met the new nurse case manager and really liked him.<br />
<br />
After that, my Dad gave me my mail from the last several weeks. It sucks not being home to deal with things when they happen. Trying to get unemployment going, and now I have to appear for an in person appoinment. I will need to reschedule it, because it looks like it will be just when Derek is going outpatient, and I will still be needed here. I'm on military orders, so it should be no problem.<br />
<br />
Also in the mail were other things that upset me, including that the thank you cards I spent days and hours writing at Derek's request did not have enough postage! I asked the lady at the post office if one stamp was enough, and she told me yes. It wasn't. The problem is that I didn't put a full return address on all of them. I got tired writing and simply put a shortened one, so a lot of the cards will never be found. This is very upsetting to me.<br />
<br />
Also, the ex started acting up again. <br />
<br />
It never ends. I am tired of getting kicked when I am down. See, the problem with that is, when I am down and being kicked, I come back fighting twice as hard!<br />
<br />
Today has been a much better day. Derek went to Building 62 for a safety evaluation. It was the first time transferring to a regular bed, a chair and a couch. First time in over six months he sat in something other than his wheelchair. And the apartment was so nice. Two bedrooms, two full baths, two big walk in closets, kitchen, living room. He loved it....too much. He wants it now. As in today. That's Derek. I see it, I like it, I want it today. No! I don't WANT to wait! When we left, he was stopping all pain meds today. Krystina and I are concerned about withdrawal. We are waiting for Dr. Kim to come and chat. A few hours later, he sees it as a goal to be achieved in a few weeks.<br />
<br />
Things are progressing nicely. Still having obstacles to overcome, and it's not an easy fight, but we are now moving forward steadily. Those obstacles can be scaled, and we will make it on the climb to glory. So, keep climbing. Don't give up. There is glory at the top of the mountain.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-70713723947953529712012-02-06T22:21:00.000-05:002012-02-06T22:21:35.991-05:00Pόg Mo ThόinI received a shirt from the NYFD yesterday at the Super Bowl party. On the front it says, "<span style="font-family: Calibri;">P<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">όg Mo Thόin.</span></span>" If you don't know Irish, this means, "Kiss my ass." It was the perfect day today to wear it.<br />
<br />
When Derek arrived in Bethesda 198 days ago, his purple heart was in his bag. Apparently, it was given to him while he was unconscious. Was it pinned on him? Are there at least pictures of it? We don't know. I was told in August by the Platoon Leader that he would get it pinned on him when he was awake and alert and knew the honor that was being presented.<br />
<br />
That was August.<br />
<br />
I've asked several times since then, and each time I was told it would be arranged. I finally started really pushing for it. I was told he would partake in the big ceremony after he was an outpatient. At this ceremony, many guys get their purple hearts. Derek does not want that. He doesn't like pomp and circumstance. He doesn't like the dog and pony show. He just wants a private, quiet ceremony. We were told it could happen.<br />
<br />
It's been months. I've been asking about it for months. Finally, last week I said I need it done. Now. I might not be here in March for the big ceremony that Derek doesn't want, and if they put it off too much longer, I might be working or gone home! I want to see him get his purple heart! He wants me there. I want him to get it.<br />
<br />
So last week I made the phone calls and pushed the people I needed to push. I was told it would be Tuesday, as in tomorrow. I was told that we just needed to set a time. Well, people want to be there. I was told the time this morning and passed it along.<br />
<br />
This morning I was told ten. I told Derek's doctors, the facility pups and their mommies, his therapists, the ancillary people involved in his care. I wish I could get his siblings here and his aunt and uncle and cousins, because I know how much they would love to be there when he gets his Purple Heart. Unfortunately, they can only come on the weekends due to school. My father, the man who was there and helped raise Derek, is trying to get down here in time.<br />
<br />
At 5 pm I received a phone call that they were putting off the ceremony because they didn't want a Captain to present it, they wanted a General. Seriously? It took me two hours of "screaming" phone calls and texts to the Lt Col who called initially, the Captain who offered to present it in the first place, the liaison and the squad leader to finally get it done at 1000 tomorrow morning. I was so stressed and aggravated by the time I got the go ahead that I was ready to quit! <br />
<br />
THEN I get a call at 7:09 telling me they were going to do it on Thursday when some big wig was going to be here, but they couldn't guarantee that this big wig could do it because they didn't know his schedule. Then, I was told that someone higher than a Captain would do it, but it couldn't be done until the afternoon. ARGH!!!! NO!!!!! I've already retold everyone that I told it was cancelled to that it had been reset, and my father is trying to get down and couldn't be here on Thursday afternoon, and I like this Captain who wants to do it and has been so helpful and willing, so ABSOLUTELY NO!!! <br />
<br />
Can you read my shirt? It says what I am feeling. Pόg Mo Thόin.<br />
<br />
On top of that, I had a fight about the outpatient nurse case manager (NCM) today. <br />
<br />
The NCM is the one person you have to rely on more than anyone else when you are an outpatient. When you are discharged, all of your doctors change. You go from the inpatient team to the Warrior Clinic. A whole new team has to learn about you and get to know you. Derek has a heck of a lot more to review than most patients. He has over six months of records, when most of the guys have about two months. The only doctor who will continue with Derek is Dr. West. He will also keep the OT and PT he has now, because he switched to the Matc already and no longer sees Sam and MJ, who were his inpatient OT and PT.<br />
<br />
The NCM is the one who will follow all of Derek's care. The NCM schedules all appointments and tracks the WW until discharge. The NCM needs to understand the WW and what he can handle on a daily basis so he/she doesn't schedule too many appointments in one day. The relationship with the NCM is a very important one.<br />
<br />
In August, we met Derek's NCM. Loved him. He was very low key and quiet, but he was there. He came to visit us every week. Even when Derek was unable to communicate well and was really out of it, he came to visit Krystina and me and to check on us. One day, I left my kindle at the mall when I got my hair cut. I told him I was an idiot and would have to go back over the weekend. A couple of hours later, he walked back into Derek's room with my kindle! Love him! He was so up on Derek's care and so attentive.<br />
<br />
Unfortuately, his time ended and he is scheduled to return home. His last day as Derek's NCM was 1/23. *sad face*<br />
<br />
So, who is the new NCM? No idea. Oh, I know her name, but if I ran into her in the hall, I wouldn't know her. I was told she was there when Derek first stood, but she didn't talk to any of us. I texted her last week, and she didn't respond. Okay, it's possible she didn't get it. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. I'm not getting all of my texts, so it is possible. I texted her again today. She responded, and then she called me. Attitude. I told her I was concerned that she had been Derek's NCM for two weeks and had not met him. She claimed she had been by three times, but Derek was not there twice and the third time he said he didn't want to be disturbed.<br />
<br />
Okay, first of all, if she was keeping up on Derek's care, she would know that he is in the Matc at the same time every day. That's really the only time he is out of the room. As for telling her he didn't want to be disturbed? Derek has no recollection of that, which doesn't mean much with his short term memory problem, but he said he would never tell one of the medical staff to not bother him, so he knows it didn't happen. When I told her, she changed the story. She said the nurse went in and tried to wake him up to talk to her, but he told her "No." Derek said it didn't happen. I asked if it was before 8 a.m., and she said no. Then it didn't happen. Krystina and/or I arrive every morning around 8. No one ever came in and said the NCM was there. It didn't happen. If it had, I would have gone out and spoke with her.<br />
<br />
But that is so not the point. If she did try and we weren't there, she should have made it a point to come back. She should have made it a point to meet us, especially since we are so close to outpatient now and she has so much to learn about him.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry, but you cannot replace someone who was top notch, the best, completely awesome and not have us expect the same from you. The trust and confidence are not there. And then you argue with me the first time you speak with me? Oh, so not going to happen. I'm sorry. You're fired. We want a new NCM.<br />
<br />
So, tomorrow I will be talking to a couple of people to ensure that we get a NCM in whom we can trust.<br />
<br />
This was an aggravating day. Stick a fork in me. I am SO done!<br />
<br />
Derek had a good, relaxing, peaceful day. He slept most of the day. He woke up this "morning" at noon. We had to go for an ultrasound of his liver at 3:30, and when he returned, he fell asleep again.<br />
<br />
The liver ultrasound is to check for fatty or enlarged liver. His liver enzymes are trending down, but they have see sawed a lot recently, so they want to check the liver. We should have the results tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow, at ten, Derek will finally get his Purple Heart pinned on. Woot! Finally. I am so over it, and the aggravation has caused all of us to really not care anymore, but I'm sure that will change tomorrow when the Captain arrives to pin it on. We are glad to just get it over and done with!<br />
<br />
More boulders to climb over today, and we scaled them! Climb to glory! All the way. To the top. After the day I had, I'll meet you there with a stiff drink and we'll toast to our success!~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-56411064047894802212012-02-06T11:49:00.000-05:002012-02-06T11:49:40.482-05:00Super Super BowlYesterday's Super Bowl was not only wonderful because it was an exciting and close game down to the last second, and because the Giants pulled it out (my sister and nephew are huge fans), but because it was an all around awesome day.<br />
<br />
There was a Super Bowl party in Building 62, the outpatient residence facility. Before we went over, we were asked if John Voight could visit with us.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zhqG-1DOZRw/Ty_owIMWTPI/AAAAAAAAAQI/WjMA_Tc8t1M/s1600/DSC02071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zhqG-1DOZRw/Ty_owIMWTPI/AAAAAAAAAQI/WjMA_Tc8t1M/s320/DSC02071.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>What a nice guy! He stayed until the end of the game. He sat outside the room signing autographs, talking to the guys and families, and posing for pictures. He even called me awesome. He was really personable and cared about the warriors. I was told that he was at the old Walter Reed last year and did the same thing. I like to see celebrities and politicians putting aside their agendas and their personal needs and wants and actually caring about the real heroes..... our warriors.<br />
<br />
We were also visited by a former Patriot and Super Bowl winner, Joe Andruzzi. He let Derek wear his Super Bowl rings. I told him, "Go Giants." When he showed us the rings, I said, "So, that's the type of ring the Giants will win today?" He laughed and knew I was only busting on him.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X5LkNhV8BBc/Ty_uxveywJI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/2B9sCeXXan8/s1600/DSC02073.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X5LkNhV8BBc/Ty_uxveywJI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/2B9sCeXXan8/s320/DSC02073.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>At 62, they had music and a huge television screen. I asked someone who was running the party to help us find a table, since most of them were already full, and he led us to a table right up front. We later found out that the tables towards the front were supposed to be the "Beer Garden," for people who were drinking. Oh well. We didn't drink, but we needed a big table because we were joined by friends.<br />
<br />
It was wonderful seeing Derek interact and socialize with the other WW. These are his peers, and these are the guys who support each other and help each other adjust to this new normal. Most of them are wonderful guys with great attitudes.<br />
<br />
The food they offered left a lot to be desired. It was pretty ick. But the company was great, and the game was exciting. <br />
<br />
Derek was playing around with our friends' daughter, and they were chucking Skittles at each other. She stuck a balloon hat on his head, and he rocked it!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GiwXxO8T-Mw/Ty_wAor2_FI/AAAAAAAAAQY/dcRKpzGxb3I/s1600/DSC02090.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GiwXxO8T-Mw/Ty_wAor2_FI/AAAAAAAAAQY/dcRKpzGxb3I/s320/DSC02090.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>While there, Derek was presented with a signed Giants football, a fathead of Eli Manning, and a first edition Purple Heart stamp.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PooJYRvhuic/Ty_wSbzdEsI/AAAAAAAAAQg/Jc_6JSwYiMY/s1600/DSC02083.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PooJYRvhuic/Ty_wSbzdEsI/AAAAAAAAAQg/Jc_6JSwYiMY/s320/DSC02083.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ji3TW9zjkPg/Ty_wavqo0AI/AAAAAAAAAQo/FdMGPXhD_Y4/s1600/DSC02089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ji3TW9zjkPg/Ty_wavqo0AI/AAAAAAAAAQo/FdMGPXhD_Y4/s320/DSC02089.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
We were also treated to a live show by Scott LoBaido. Scott is going across the country and painting flags on roof tops in all fifty states. He painted us a flag while we watched. He is amazing.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v3i9L-3IN0g/TzACEba95mI/AAAAAAAAAQw/QZfOBkiZKRU/s1600/DSC02087.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-v3i9L-3IN0g/TzACEba95mI/AAAAAAAAAQw/QZfOBkiZKRU/s320/DSC02087.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
One annoying thing was getting snubbed by a slut. The cheerleaders who were there were going from table to table, signing pictures and posing for photos. When the group came up to Derek, one said, "Oh we saw him before," and turned and walked away. The other cheerleaders tried to talk to Derek, but she walked away, so they followed. Are you kidding me? When that one saw him last, he was really sick. The human thing to do would have been to tell him how much better he looked. I was not there at the time, or I would have said something. <br />
<br />
So, except for the food and the snotty cheerleader, we had a great time. Derek didn't let the cheerleader bring him down. He doesn't care about them. He had Krystina, he had me, and he had all of his new friends. He also had an exciting game!<br />
<br />
We got back to the hospital at 2200 (10 pm), so today he is sleeping. Out cold. Had his PT kept her word on Friday and not pushed him when he told her he was tired, we might arrange to go later today when he wakes up. <br />
<br />
The plan for today is an ultrasound on the liver, sleep and finding out what's going on with the Nurse Case Manager.<br />
<br />
Derek's liver enzymes were elevated. They are now sloping down, but GI wants an ultrasound to see if the liver is enlarged.<br />
<br />
When Derek first arrived, we met his NCM. This is the person who follows his progress and manages him when he is outpatient. Mike was awesome. He visited every week, and he kept up with Derek's progress. Three weeks ago, Mike finished his time here and went home. We have not met the new one. The resident said that is his fault because he told her not to push us so we don't feel like we are being rushed into outpatient, but that is so not the point. She should have come over and met us. She should have introduced herself. We need confidence in the NCM, and we have none. He is supposed to take care of this today.<br />
<br />
This is marathon of hills and valleys. We are charging up that mountain, and we are almost to the top. Derek is getting better and improving so much. Dr. West used to give him short term goals that helped him feel like he accomplished something. For example, he told him to strive to be off the vent for two hours and not worry about being off the vent completely. This way, when Derek actually made it off the vent three hours he felt as if he accomplished a major goal. We are doing that now. Staying in his chair for the entire party was an awesome goal. It may have worn him out so that he sleeps all day today, but the point is.... he did it! Next goal is getting off the IV pain meds. He has cut down dramatically. Another goal is getting the safety eval in 62. This is where they take him to what should be his room when he is an outpatient and have him go through the motions of a normal day. This way they can make adjustments to the room so that it is the best possible environment for him. Once he sees the room and sees that he can manage it, it will give him encouragement.<br />
<br />
There is no timeline in which he has to be released. Derek is in control. When he can meet his goals, we will move on to the next stage of this journey.<br />
<br />
Climb to glory. All the way. To the top. When we get there, let's party!~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-8385441406238267182012-02-04T23:55:00.000-05:002012-02-04T23:55:59.462-05:00A Little Back StorySomeone told me today that she was sorry last week was not what we were told, and that I deserved a Caregiver on the Year Award. I am very appreciative to her for saying that, but the truth is, that would not be an easy award to give, and I don't think I am deserving, at least not me alone. <br />
<br />
I think anyone who has given up his/her own life to be a caregiver for their loved one is worthy of such a distinction. I have seen parents, wives, girlfriends, drop out of school, quit jobs, leave other children, etc. just to assist their injured loved one. They do it without complaint. They do it out of love. They work together with the medical staff and other patients' families, standing up and screaming when things don't go right, but doing so respectfully. <br />
<br />
Remember, there is a right way and a wrong way to take someone out! I know I haven't always done it the right way. I am emotional and sometimes jump too soon, but I always try to be respectful. So many caregivers are here advocating for their loved one, and not looking for anything in return, except a healed hero. Then there are those who not only advocate for their own loved one, but try to make changes for the good of all of our heroes. I know one in particular who is fighting hard to make changes, and I jumped on her train to help as much as I can.<br />
<br />
Of course, there are those in this life who misuse their loved one's injuries as a way to draw attention to themselves or those who cause strife and drama and are only out for themselves and their loved one, and be damned all others. They publicize inappropriate information and photographs without regard for the dignity of their loved one. They rub the medical staff the wrong way, and they file complaints about other caregivers that are unwarranted because they are simply jealous (no, no one has filed a complaint against me.... at least not that I know of). Unfortunately, you meet idiots everywhere. My response to them? Talk to the hand because the ears went home. I have no time for people who are selfish or attention whores.<br />
<br />
Therefore, Caregiver of the Year? The field is so full of awesome caregivers that it would be impossible to choose just one.<br />
<br />
Today, Krystina and I wanted to get our hair cut. We decided to go to Wheaten Mall. Derek wanted to go with us.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L3e9LKlulZw/Ty3CIaRFsYI/AAAAAAAAAQA/UlN_EyXS21s/s1600/Elevator.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-L3e9LKlulZw/Ty3CIaRFsYI/AAAAAAAAAQA/UlN_EyXS21s/s320/Elevator.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>His shirt is a TS original. It says, "If you keep staring they may grow back." T also has other shirts that say, "Combat Wounded Marine: Some Assembly Required," and "I had a blast in Afghanistan."<br />
<br />
We first had lunch at Panera. On the way in, a nice man jumped up and opened the door. After lunch, we were approached by a mother and her four year old son, Zach. Zach had been learning about wheelchairs, and he has a card on his Cheerios box that he wants to send to a soldier as soon as he finishes the box. His mother thought it would be a good learning experience for him to meet Derek, someone in a wheelchair and a soldier, so he would know the type of person to whom he was sending his card. He was so cute! He shook Derek's hand, and Derek said, "I'm just like you, except I have no legs." Zach was amazed at the story about the robot legs. They then gave Derek a gift card to Panera.<br />
<br />
Yes, he received a lot of stares, but people were not rude. Let's face it, it's not every day you see someone rolling through the Mall with no legs! Okay, maybe around here it's a little more common, but still, most people do not encounter this regularly. So, people stared. But they moved out of his way, and they were respectful.<br />
<br />
Derek was up for over four hours. He was in a bit of pain, but he did it. Tomorrow, we have the Super Bowl party at 62, and there are supposed to be some surprises. Hopefully, he will last and not suffer! The pre-party is from 12 to 4, and then the party starts at 4. We are going to try to make it by 3, so that we get to enjoy both parties.<br />
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When we got back, Derek had a little fit over his diet. It's really not fair. He just got off the low phosphate diet, and now he is on a low cholesterol diet. He is only 22 and should be able to eat whatever he wants. But he can't. High tricylcerides are restricting his ability to enjoy whatever foods he wants. And he is upset. With reason. And Krystina and I are the bad guys when we tell him he cannot have the big bowl of cholesterol for dinner.<br />
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Is this hereditary? We don't know. Derek no longer has contact with his father's side of the family (his choice), and his biological mother has been out of the picture for twenty years. The doctors have to treat him like they would treat any adopted child with no link to family history. It should not matter, because the treatment should be the same.<br />
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So what is the history of our family? People have asked me about the past. I don't like to talk about the past though. I usually just shut it off in my brain and go on with life. What good does it do to relive the past? None. Except maybe when a psychiatrist wants to probe and blame everything on childhood.<br />
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I am only going to address a little of the past at this time for a couple of reasons. (1) This story is not limited to only our family. I have heard so many similar stories. It's sad that so many of our WW have to deal with family issues on top of health issues. (2) If I can help just one person by telling this, or if someone out there reads this and knows of a way to help me, then it will be worth it. (3) I am really dealing with a little slice of hell right now, and I need to vent a little. (4) A little past history on the family might help you relate to us in a different way --- hopefully a better way. Every family has problems and situations that are not.... easy and comfortable. Every person is different. Every person has his/her own issues. We cannot compare ourselves to others because you really never know what is really going on in another person's life, even if you think you do, and we all have our own crosses to bear. Maybe after this, you will have a better understanding of some of my crosses. They are not heavier or lighter necessarily then yours, they are just mine. God gives us what we can handle. Sometimes I think He messed up with me and gave me too many heavy crosses, but somehow I manage.<br />
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I am not going to bad mouth or vilify anyone. That is not my intention. I am stating simple facts that can be verified with documentation. If you want to stop now, please do. If you want to know a little more about my crosses, what is causing me to lose sleep at night, and the formation of our family, welcome to the night's ventation.<br />
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When I met my ex in June 1991, I had Michael and he had Derek. Derek was living with his biological mother in Virginia. Michael was 2.5 and Derek was 18 months. My ex was a US Marine and was in NYC for the Welcome Home Parade in honor of the Desert Storm heroes. The first Christmas after we married in 1993, we decided we wanted custody of Derek for reasons that do not bear repeating at this time. I had fallen in love with Derek the first day I met him, and I already felt as if he was mine. My ex had adopted Michael in August 1992, and then we went for custody of Derek in the winter of 1992-1993. One year after we were awarded custody, I adopted Derek. From the day I met him, Derek was in my heart, and I am so grateful God brought him into my life.<br />
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I am not going to throw mud and bring up the intense history of what happened in getting custody of Derek, in the adoptions of my two oldest boys, and then in my eventual divorce, because it really does not matter. What matters is that Derek was finally officially mine, and we were a family. We added three more children. All surprises. What can I say --- I'm the 1%! But I love each of my children and would not send any of the five back for anything in the world. I thank God for my five greatest blessings - Michael, Derek, Kellina, Ryan and Sean.<br />
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I do not regret my children. I regret that they grew up without a father. I regret that I was not smarter in my selection of a life mate. I try not to live my life with regret, so I do not dwell on it, and I simply make sure I do not repeat the mistakes. For this reason, I have rarely dated since the divorce. I don't want to choose someone who will not be good to my children. I also am so overwhelmed with full-time parenthood with no benefit of weekend visitiation that I don't have the time or the energy. Would I like a good man in my life? Sure.... if I happen to trip over one on my journey. So far, I haven't met one worth spending any real time with. But I am not looking, so if I do meet someone, it will be by chance.<br />
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Almost 13 years ago, my ex moved out - June 23, 1999. I begged him to just be a father, and his response was, "It's not a good time for me." It's never been a good time. He rarely saw the children over the next several months, and eventually, he voluntarily terminated his right to visit. He did try to reinstate his visits after that, but since he did not do what the court ordered him to do, his request was denied. He didn't do it the right way.<br />
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After Derek turned 18, he contacted Derek. Derek had a relationship with him, and since I was not part of it, I am not going to comment about it. I only know what Derek told me.<br />
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After Derek was injured, my ex came to the hospital. At this point I was faced with enforcing the restraining order or allowing him access to not only me, but my other children, who had not seen their father in 12 years. I decided to be cordial, and welcome him in. We all went out to dinner several times.<br />
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But then things deteriorated. Of course, this is my side of the story. He will probably tell a very different tale. There were problems in the hospital almost from the beginning. The fact also remains that he stopped coming. Derek terminated his orders and placed Krystina on orders, as it should have been in the beginning, and he did not visit after that. If he says it was because of me, there was nothing stopping him from writing to Derek, emailing him, or contacting him on facebook. I hate when people play the blame game and do not take responsibility for their own actions.<br />
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Also, I know he tells people that he pays child support, but he does not. He only owes more than $175,000.00. It has been almost two years since he last sent a payment, with the exception of a small amount of cash that he gave me in September in the hospital, and even before then he paid at best 25% of the ordered amount. He sent me an email recently claiming that he is afraid to pay through the court because they lose payments. I worked for that system. If they ever misplace a payment, it is easily accounted for once proof is provided. I've asked him for the proof that he paid, but he never sent it. If he sends it, I will help him rectify the arrears and find my money. I told him all he had to do was show a cancelled check or track a money order. He has not yet. He also has not sent a payment. I gave him my home address, but I still have not received a payment.<br />
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Am I angry? A bit. But I am more hurt than angry. I have children who, if not for the kindness of my parents, would have had nothing growing up, including a place to live. I have three children who still depend on me financially. I have a child who is severely injured. I have my four other children at home whom I am away from. I have no income and no way to support my children. And their father refuses to help. <br />
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If he reads this or someone close to him reads this and gets him to start making payments, I would be very grateful. If someone reads this and has information on employment for me, I would be enternally grateful. I'm an attorney in NJ with 18 years experience. I would love to get into patient advocacy. I even looked into joining the JAG Corps, but I am a few years too old.<br />
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I have a father for my children who refuses to support them, so if anyone has any ideas, I am listening. The problem is he is out of state and Tennessee will not enforce the order without him appearing in court. He refuses to appear, so my children suffer. The UIFSA laws really need to be changed. <br />
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At this point, I am facing losing my house. I am getting desparate. He told me he wants child support based on his income. The support that was established is based on his income 10 years ago, the last time he submitted income information to the court. I told him to send me a pay stub and I would have child support recalculated. He refuses. <br />
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There is so much more I could say about him. But I won't. Because it doesn't matter.<br />
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Derek is getting better. Finally. But I am faced with finding a job in a terrible economy. I am faced with still being away from home and away from my children, my family and my friends. I will be back, hopefully within the next two months, but if I find a job in the DC area, I will bring my children down here. Either way, unless I find a good paying job ASAP, I will probably end up selling my house. I don't want to, but I cannot lose the equity I have.<br />
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This situation is not solely mine. I met a parent the other day who lost his job because he has been his son's NMA. Although I found him loud and a bit obnoxious, he is staying by his son's side and lost so much as a result. I spoke with a mother who has been by her son's side for almost a year. This has caused such a strain on her new marriage that she is now filing for divorce. I was talking to a mother the other day who was told she could take whatever time she needed from her job and that they would work with her, but then lost her job when she was here three months. I spoke with a woman tonight whose husband in here. She left her three young children with her oldest daughter. She had to sell her house and move her family into a small apartment. I spoke with a mother the other day who is trying to collect child support from her dead beat ex. She is filing in MD to domesticate her order so she can have it finally enforced here. I wish I could do that, but my ex doesn't visit any more.<br />
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What I am saying is that we caregivers have an awful lot on our plates. We have so many regular day things pressing on us and churning the stew, and then we add a pinch of aggravation with inconsiderate people around us, a dash of medical personnel who are not up to par, a tablespoon of family drama that should stay in the freezer, a hint of feeling overwhelmed by the new normal, a cup of missing our family and friends from home, a sprig of broken promises from people we thought would always be there for us, and a side dish of losing our jobs. This does not make for an appetizing meal, but given what they have to offer us in the hospital galley (the only affordable place to eat), no wonder we have indigestion and insomnia!<br />
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But this shall pass. We will all get through this. We might not be in the same financial position as before, and we might have lost some friends along the way, but we have new opportunities, new friends, and new experiences on this mountain to the new normal. Climb to glory, friends and family. Thank you for being there with us through this journey. Although I have been disappointed with some people who were previously in my life, I have a new group who are supportive and caring, and I thank God for each and every one of you.<br />
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Climb to glory. All the way. To the top. The very top. I'll meet you there ... and we'll toast to the future.~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8827557345117676196.post-71554152957804761432012-02-03T21:44:00.000-05:002012-02-03T21:44:41.706-05:00Making StridesThe last two days have been busy for Derek. He actually went to the Matc both days! That makes four Matc days today. He didn't want to go today, and before I could say anything, Krystina jumped all over him! She insisted that he go, even if he was tired. His PT had previously said if he was having a tired day, they would just do mat work. They didn't. She insisted he get on the "death machine." The death machine is an aptly named pilates machine that the guys all hate. After today, I can see why.<br />
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Anyway, I am skipping yesterday.<br />
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During OT, Derek put that right hand to work at stacked cups! Considering one of his doctors told him that the hand would never work, this was amazing!<br />
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When he went to PT he stood on his leg again! The leg that his PT had decorated.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6RIKsWeuYDk/TyyPD9wOZcI/AAAAAAAAAPY/UGwTaVTdcOc/s1600/DSC02058.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6RIKsWeuYDk/TyyPD9wOZcI/AAAAAAAAAPY/UGwTaVTdcOc/s320/DSC02058.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-afwk60QqUKg/TyyPSJ03nxI/AAAAAAAAAPg/S3sluTZzo0I/s1600/DSC02060.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-afwk60QqUKg/TyyPSJ03nxI/AAAAAAAAAPg/S3sluTZzo0I/s320/DSC02060.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br />
After he stood, he went over the mat where he was attacked by M, an awesome triple amp! He wrestled with Derek on the mat and taught him how to do the "bunny hop" to move himself. M had him moving all over that mat! And then he showed him how to rock the trampoline!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RhQ0EPD8Br8/TyyP16HR0NI/AAAAAAAAAPo/auf9nYx5aKM/s1600/DSC02061.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RhQ0EPD8Br8/TyyP16HR0NI/AAAAAAAAAPo/auf9nYx5aKM/s320/DSC02061.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>It takes a lot of core strength to hold himself up on the trampoline, and he did great!<br />
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Today, OT stretched him out hard! Joe tried this "facia stretch," to separate the muscles and tendons from the scar tissue. It hurts a lot. Derek called it "flashlight stretch." He also named the different stretches of his hand "downward facing donkey" and "flying eagle."<br />
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During PT he was put on that death machine. Made me nervous because his balance is not the best. But he did it.<br />
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Back at the room, he crashed. We were supposed to go to dinner tonight, but he was too exhausted.<br />
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We had a very special visitor today. I heard she was in the hall, so I went out of the room. Her Mommy let go of her leash, and she ran right to me! After taking me around the nurses' station for a quick hello, she ran right into Derek's room and over to the treats I keep for our very special visitors! After a quick snack, she snuggled with Derek!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jDLXwpWRjws/TyySfgvPDLI/AAAAAAAAAPw/a8jF5JauWTw/s1600/DSC02068.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jDLXwpWRjws/TyySfgvPDLI/AAAAAAAAAPw/a8jF5JauWTw/s320/DSC02068.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>After a visit with wound care, we had lunch with the awesome Laura Boone! Krystina was so happy that she brought her Burger King, that she jumped into her arms!<br />
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This weekend we have a lot to do. Hope you have a good weekend, too.<br />
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As for me, I'm dealing with a lot right now. I've been away from home for six months. I miss my kids. I need a job. I'm not really in a position to look for a new one. Derek's doctor thinks it will be a good idea if I stay at least for the first few weeks he is an outpatient. He is still several weeks from outpatient status. Therefore, I have at least one to two months left here. My ex refuses to pay child support. He is always giving another excuse. He has not paid in almost two years. He knows what is going on, but he still refuses to send a payment. Things are very stressful and I am full of anxiety. I'm trying to stay positive and not let it get to me, but at night, when I should be sleeping, it does.<br />
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I know some how some way it will work out, but I really wish I knew how right now. It's just a tough time.<br />
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But, anyway, on to tomorrow! We have exciting plans that we hope Derek is up to doing. We also have an exciting week planned! We will keep climbing to glory, and we will overcome the hurdles that have been placed in our way. This is a journey not only Derek, but also Krystina and my other kids, as well as my sister and her family are all on. Some how, we will triumph. We have faith. We have each other. Climb to glory.<br />
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P.S. Go, Giants!~~~Siobhan~~~http://www.blogger.com/profile/12244459596549745477noreply@blogger.com1