Calling a Code on Mom

Derek is continuing to amaze his surgeons with the progress he is making with his hand.  We were told today that he is beating the odds.  We already knew that.  He was given less than a 50% chance of living when he went septic, and it was lower when he was first injured, and he's still here!

He is now wearing regular shorts, instead of his adaptive shorts, or "stripper" shorts as he called them.  There are non-profits who take shorts, pants and shirts and adapt them so that our wounded have an easier time wearing clothing.  With IVs, injured limbs, x-fixes, etc. they cannot get on regular clothing.  These organizations cut along the seam and insert velcro so that they are easier to get on and off.  Until yesterday, Derek was only wearing adaptive shorts.  He is so pleased with himself.

Derek returned to the Matc today for the first time after his arm surgery.  He cannot weight bear on the right arm for another 2.5 weeks, but he can do range of motion and stretching in his fingers, and he can weight bear on his elbow.  He was able to transfer using just his elbow.  Unfortunately, he got himself yelled at for not waiting for the nurse or corpsman when he returned.  He pulled his chair up to the bed and simply started to hop up.  He was told to always have someone standing there who can help him in case of a problem.  Does he listen?

But he listened to Dr. West!  He deserves a beating for telling Derek about the code they call for a combative or disruptive patient or family member.  I don't know if the colors they use are supposed to be made public; therefore, I will call this a "Code Periwinkle," so that I don't give out sensitive information.   Derek yelled it all night.  Thank God the nurses like me and know Derek.  If not, I think I would have been carted out last night.  And all I did was sit in my chair in the corner.

Last night, Derek was on a roll.  Krystina was rubbing cocoa butter into his scars in an attempt to soften them.  When she got to his lower back near his shorts, she snapped his shorts, and he yelled out, "Help!  Rape!  I need an adult!"  Of course, this just made her do it more and more.  Then to annoy me, he started yelling, "Code Periwinkle!  Help!  No, Mom!  No!  Don't rape me!  I don't want to ride the pony!"  Before anyone gets upset, he is not making light of real issues.  He is just having fun with us and doing his best to embarass me and get attention.  One of the nurses walked in and asked him if he was really calling a Code Periwinkle on his mother, and when he nodded, she laughed and walked out!

The best was today.  Corey the Corpsman left stuff on the bed, after I spent hours organizing and cleaning that room out.  I "yelled" at him for it, and his response, "Wow.  I'm going to go draft the commitment papers now for your nice little room on the 7th floor (inpatient psyche), and then I'm going to get a nurse to sign off on it."

Two minutes later, one of the nurses walked in with two syringes.  She asked, "Which one is giving you trouble?"

Derek replied, "The top one," and pointed at me.

She turned to get gloves, and Krystina and I looked at each other like, "What the hell?!"  Krystina hid under her blanket.

She came in to put something in Derek's PICC line to get it moving again, but the set up was just too perfect given what Corey said.  Derek wasn't actually pointing at me, he was holding up his PICC line.  We had a good laugh about it.

Some people walk by the room and look at us strange because we are laughing and joking around.  I'm sorry if we bother you.  Not really, but I needed to say it.  We are dealing with this tragedy the best we know how.  It could have been a lot worse.  Derek said today that if he could go back and change what happened, he doesn't think that he would, because he thinks a lot of opportunities will open up for him.

Right now, he wants to open up an antique/pawn shop, be an extreme couponer, and stock pile for the zombie apocalypse.

And big thank you to one of the American Legion posts from Maryland.  They came in and donated $2,000.00 to Derek.  What a great group of guys!

So, that's all the news that's fit to print!

Saw this on facebook, and it fits Derek's journey right now. 
Keep climbing! Don't stop! Climb to glory!

A Mom's Journey

We raise our sons to go off and make lives of their own. Once we ship them out to basic training, we expect that they are "out of the nest." But they never stop being your baby.  I last conversed with Derek a couple of hours before his injury on July 23, 2011.  My last words to him were, "Be safe.  Love you."  When I next saw him on July 29, 2011, he was yellow, in renal failure, battered and broken, and could not breathe on his own.  Derek's injuries are a left hip disartic, right AKA, limb salvage on the right arm, blast wounds that reached stage 4, and pelvic, jaw and skull fractures, as well as internal injuries. He was riddled with infections that caused him to turn septic.  We spent 50 days in the ICU and almost lost him several times.  When he was able to speak, finally, after several weeks, one of the first things he said to me was, "I'm sorry.  I never meant for this to happen."
I have three teenagers in high school, Kellina (17) a senior, Ryan (17) a junior, and Sean (15) a freshman, who are living with my sister while I attend to Derek.  They had to leave their home and their pets in the care of my father and move to my sister's house.  We have been inpatient for over 175 days and do not yet have a date for discharge.  As a Mom, I have to juggle these competing interests and do what is best for all of my children.  It pains my heart to leave my other children, but right now, I am needed here, and my other children understand.  Derek needs me to juggle doctors, medications, appointments, etc.; he needs his fiancee Krystina to handle his personal needs, such as meals, laundry, grooming, showering, and snuggling; and he himself needs to concentrate on healing.  Together, the three of us have what would be a very difficult journey for one or two, handled quite nicely by dividing up the responsibilities.  The hardest thing is not being there to help my children with their homework, talk to my daughter about high school drama, or just to sit and eat dinner together as a family, something I insisted on every single night.

In the hospital, one thing that has been difficult is that a lot of the programs are geared towards spouses and we moms are the forgotten.  Many moms come and stay with their children for the entire time.  We leave behind homes, pets, children, jobs, bills, entire lives.  Many of us moms either have to leave our jobs or lose our jobs as a result of being gone "too long."  On top of the stress of seeing our children struggle, we have to deal with being unemployed in a bad economy.  The programs here that might help us find jobs have been limited to spouses only.  Hopefully, that is starting to open up.  A lot of the financial support from non-profits are limited to direct dependants of the servicemember, a/k/a not moms.

It does not matter to us whether there is any program for moms.  As a Mom, I will be here until Derek takes his first steps, a milestone we are all anxiously anticipating.  This is where my life has taken me, and until I know my child is well on his way to recovery, I will be by his side.

Derek is continuing to heal after surgery on Friday.  He didn't go to the Matc today because his arm was still a little too sore.  He is hoping for tomorrow, but he does not want to push it.  So, we just hung out today and let Derek heal.  It's the same thing we did all weekend.

The highlight of our weekend was the visit from our two favorite residents, Diego and Ben!  I think Diego likes to visit because we make him laugh.  Derek's comment to him today, which I think Derek meant as a compliment, was, "I'd rather have a doctor who makes me laugh than a good doctor."  Really, Derek?  But Diego does make a laugh....a lot.

A troubling thing that happened was when someone from a non-profit was talking to Derek about where he wants to live in the future.  He told Derek that he might want to live in New Jersey, but it was not going to be possible.  When I commented that his entire family and most of his friends were in NJ, he said, "Well, ma'am, that might be, but he is going to need doctors and nurses in his life for a long time.  He has to live close to a Vet Polytrauma center, and there isn't one in New Jersey."  Listen, jerk, do not try to act like you know more than his doctors and can push me around and tell me what to do!  It won't end well for you.  He will also need the love and support of his family as he lives this new normal, and New Jersey might not have a polytrauma VET hospital, but there are plenty of polytrauma centers.  Also, we are only a few hours from Walter Reed Bethesda and can get him down here at least once a year for a check up.  I immediately consulted with one of our favorite nurses, Katie, and called for Derek's doctors to come and talk to us about this.  NO ONE in this entire process has ever told us that Derek was restricted as to where he could live in the future.  His nurses and doctors all confirmed that Derek's choice of where to live was his own.  If he wanted to live in Timbucktu, arrangements would be made for him.  Next time this man comes to pay a visit, he will get an ear full!  My concern is that he is going to say that to an unknowing young wounded warrior and his wife and they will believe him!

So, tomorrow it is off to the Matc, hopefully, and a dressing change and new splint for the arm.  One more step ahead. 

Keep on going and don't let anyone get you down.  If someone gives you information that just doesn't sound right, ask questions.  Ask a lot of questions.  Don't just take "no" for an answer, and do not accept some ridiculous reason for doing something that just doesn't feel right.  Get to the bottom of the truth so you can have all information you need in order to make an informed decision.  They might purport to be the "experts," but even they can give wrong information.  The man giving us information today is not medical.  He is not even a wounded warrior.  He is just someone who works at a non-profit and gives out information like he knows what he is talking about.  Sorry, bud.  I'm smarter than to just accept that drivel.

Hope you 2012 is going strong and you are making progress.  We have had a lot of stress so far in 2012, but we are making progress, as well.  Derek's first transfer from the chair to the bed was last week, and the hand surgery is a major step forward. 

Keep on going!  Never give up!  Never give in!  Fight for your dreams.  Fight for what you know in your heart is right.  Climb to glory, everyone.  We'll meet you at the top.  We'll be the ones waiving the New Jersey flag along with our Army flag and pointing the way towards Derek's home in NEW JERSEY!  Army strong!  Jersey fierce.  Standing there at the top will be Determined Derek, Mighty Mom and Kourageous Krystina.  Yes, I know.....cheesy.  But we will be there. 

We will be cheering you on as you make the climb, either ahead of us, beside us, or behind us.  We are all the same team, whether we be Army, Navy, AirForce, Marines, National Guard, or Coast Guard.  If you are struggling in this new normal, or even if you are strugggling with something in life, join us and Climb to Glory!!!

A Work in Progress

We are on a long, hard journey.  No one ever said the road of the wounded warrior would be easy.  The problem is, most Americans are oblivious to this journey.  They are oblivious to this part of the very real war that is going on in our world right now and affecting our young men and women every day.  These injuries that they are receiving will continue to affect them for the rest of their lives.  And they not only affect the warrior, they affect their families and friends, as well.

When Derek and I started this journey, I immediately posted in the military moms' pages on facebook, and my friend requests soared.  I could not believe the amount of support and encouragement I received from that community of moms.  I was living the nightmare they all dreaded.  I then met and befriended many wounded warrior wives, mothers and girlfriends, and with them, we have a wonderful support group.  I knew one wounded warrior mom before this, and she was a wealth of information and support for me that very first weekend.

But the first stage of this journey has already taken a lot longer than we ever expected.  Derek was a lot more injured than we could have ever believed.  He fought through it.  He climbed that mountain.  It is still a work in progress, but he is doing it.  His achievements and his list of firsts is getting progressively longer.

I posted on my facebook page yesterday another major first for Derek.  In a few hours, there were 100 likes and over 35 comments.  This support had Derek smiling and so happy.

At the Matc, I asked Kerry and Joe to work with Derek on transferring without using his hand, because for three weeks after the surgery, he will be non-weight bearing on that right hand.  He rocked it.  Then Kerry had the idea to bring Derek back to his room and try to transfer from his chair to his bed.  Derek has a specialty bed for his wounds, and his doctor says he is not quite ready for a regular bed.  This makes transfers a little more difficult.  Really?

Well, he ninja rolled!  Derek was out of that chair and onto the bed and back into the chair again... all by himself!  Woot!  It was awesome!  Kerry and I cheered and screamed and his nurse came running thinking something was wrong.  So, he showed her!  High fives all around.

Dr. N came and talked to us about the plan for surgery on Friday.  We really are impressed with him.

And Bograd is back!  I got my hug.  I now have my three favorite residents in the same hospital!  Although, this new PM&R res is quickly catching up.  We've only known him four days, but he is wonderful.  So attentive.

Yesterday, Derek woke up with a new wrist band.  He told Joe in the Matc that he was a "moderate fail risk."  Joe asked him if there was a test that maybe he was asleep for and that's why he failed!  The band actually says, "moderate FALL risk."  Oh, Derek.

I spent the night with him, because I knew he was anxious over the surgery, and because getting up at 05:00 and rushing to the hosptial to get to PACU at 05:30 just didn't appeal to me.  It was easier to spend the night, even on those horribly uncomfortable chair bed things they give us in the rooms.

Derek's anxiety had been lessened by talking to his doctors.  We had confidence in Dr. N, and Dr. West reminded that he is not as sick this time as he was two months ago when he had his last surgery.  His kidneys are better, his lungs are better, everything is so much better.  He was still concerned about the blood pressure issues, but there was no need, because his body just needed a rest from surgery.  He had no blood pressure issues during the surgery.

Dr. N is pleased with the surgery, so we are too.  There was a 9.5 cm deficit in the ulnar nerve.  They did a nerve graft and a bone graft with cadaver parts.  Over the next six months, we will see how the nerve regenerates and repairs itself in its new tract.  After that, depending on how the hand in functioning, Dr. N will look into tendon transfer for more functionality.  It's a work in progress.

It was a very long surgery, over four hours, and Derek woke up in pain and wiped out from the anesthetic.  He slept all day, and even apologized to me tonight for sleeping all day.  No apologies necessary.

The most aggravating part of the day was a visit from the federal recovery agent.  We have told her before, that if we need her, we will call.  Krystina told her once, Derek told her once, and I told her twice.  Why did she walk in today?  To argue with me once again that she disagrees with my decision about not needing her.  Two visits ago, she walked in unannounced and just sat down.  She explained what she was there to do.  We have a Nurse Case Manager, the WTB, the AW2, etc., all of which does exactly what she said she did.  She asked me if I had done the social security application.  I was filling it out when she walked in.  She asked if the TGLI paperwork had been done.  I told her we had an appointment for that the next day.  She asked about other paperwork and applications..... all done.  And I need her, why?  I've spoken to so many other wounded warriors and none of them have someone like her.  We don't need her.  I've reviewed her paperwork.  It's not necessary, but I told her if I needed anything, I would call her.  She won't quit.

If I was going to call her for anything, I will never do it now after today's visit.  She stood there arguing with me that I needed her.  She said she would just come talk to Derek when I was not there, then.  I told her that Derek wanted me present for all meetings, because his short term memory is not good right now, and he has asked me to handle all paperwork, applications, medical records, etc., and I have the prior records, so if that meeting was going to talk place, I would have to be there.  She said no, she would just talk to Derek.  Does she even listen?  When I told her I was too stressed that day to deal with her because Derek was in surgery, in walked Dr. N with the post-surgery report.  Thank you, God!  I told her she had to leave so I could talk to the doctor.  After she left, he asked me what he walked in on, and I said, "Just some lady who keeps coming back to argue with me that we need her."  She walked back in and said, "I hate to disagree but. . . "  I yelled at her to get out!  She eavesdropped on a private conversation with a doctor!  Where in her delusional brain matter could she ever have thought it okay to interrupt a conversation with a doctor to which she never should have been privvy?  I intend to send an email to her supervisor. 

I spoke with Derek's team afterwards, and they were concerned with her behavior and how she is harassing us when we said "No."  She was asked not to come back until we call her.  'nuff said.  If we miss out on something, that's our problem, not hers.  If she is so concerned that we might be making the wrong decision, she should talk to someone on Derek's behalf and quit harassing us!  One of the doctors wants to be paged if she shows up again and he will take care of her.

I really needed that after the week I had and with Derek in surgery.  But, thank God the surgery was successful and we are progressing.

A major big thank you for the following wonderful people who sent care packages, cards, letters, treats, goodies, etc.  They all arrived today, a wonderful day to keep our mind off of things while waiting for Derek to get out of the OR and then to finally wake up.  Once he is more alert, he will read all of the cards and letters.
     So, thank you so much to: 
                   Erin McGahuey
                   Jodi Brogran and her children, especially Christopher and Megan who donated part of their allowance
                  The students of All Saints Academy, Parsippany
                  Leanne and SSGT Weatherford
                  Stephanie Hadley
                  Jody Harding
                 Girl Scout Troop 20308
                 Wolf Pack 7090, AZ
I hope i didn't miss anyone......

Major kudos today to Dr. Nanos, our wonderful hand surgeon, Dr. Howard for that wonderful flap that closed the hole in the arm back in October and allowed this surgery to proceed today, and Katie our awesome charge nurse who ran down and got me a sandwich when I was ready to faint with hunger but didn't want to leave in case I missed the call that he was out of surgery or the post-op visit with the doc.

Isn't life simply a work in progress?  We create something wonderful and then go on to our next project, to create something else, thus always having a work in project.  Whether this be an arts and crafts project you enjoy, a special project at work, the home improvements of your dreams, raising your children, working out and sculpting your body, writing a novel, or whatever turns the corners of your lips up into a big smile and warms your heart.

Derek is a work in progress.  His arm is in the process of accepting the new nerve and repairing the pathway around it so the nerve can become a part of his body, as well as accepting the new bone graft.  Then he will be back to OT and PT for range of motion, stretching, strengthening, etc.  Bottom line.... we will get him there.  We have realistic expectations for the hand, and we have faith in Dr. Nanos' ability.

Keep going, keep climbing, never give up, never give in.  You will never reach the top if you quit halfway there.  Climb to glory! 

And remember our men and women in the military, serving to protect our way of life, away from family and friends, in harm's way, afraid, lonely, hot, cold, tired, hungry, but never giving up as long as there is one American counting on him/her.  And remember those who were wounded defending this country and our people so that we might live free.  Their lives are forever changed as a result of the love they had for their country and their desire to want to do something more.  Pray for them.  Remember them.  Tell their stories.  Don't let them be forgotten.

God bless you.

By The Numbers

As of January 6, 2012, the following is Derek's hospital stay by the numbers.....

Days in the hospital - 173 days

Days at NNMC/WRNMMC - 167 days

Surgeries - 36

Procedures - 12

CT Scans, X-rays - too many, I lost count!  Basically, he glows and his kids will be born with three arms.

Blood products - 129

Days in SICU - 53

Days on ventilator - 54

Days on oxygen - 98

Days on contact precautions - 114

Medical teams involved over course of stay - 24
     Trauma, PM&R (Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation), Orthopedics,
     Endocrinology, Internal Medicine, Urology, Plastics, Nueropsyche,
     Infectious Disease, Gastrointerology, Hepatology, Nephrology,
     Oral Maxillofacial, Dental, Anesthesia, Radiology, Acupuncture,
     Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Respiratory, Wound Care,
     Dietary, Speech Pathology and Nursing.

I cannot even begin to count the number of doctors!  We went through three primary residents on the trauma team, Obi, Ben and Diego, and now two on the PM&R team.  There have been numerous interns and residents that have cycled through.  Residents change about every two months and interns every four, but that might depend on the service.  Attendings are supposed to stay the same.  We almost lost our attending from the PM&R team.  We were told she was being switched out.  We objected, and..... She's staying!  Continuity of care.  Besides the fact that we don't want a new resident and a new attending starting the same week because then neither one would be up-to-date on all of Derek's history and care, although one has been on the fringes for a while, we love Dr. Kim and don't want to lose her!

As for special visitors, I could try to count, but I would probably lose count halfway through.  We've had Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Jill Biden, Rodney Freylinghuysen Congressman from NJ, Jack Reed Senator from RI, Kansas, Montel Williams, Kid Rock, Sgt Slaughter, Joe Westphal (Undersectary of the Army), Gen Dempsey, Gen Chiarelli (Vice Chief of Staff, Army), Gen Franks, CSM Grippe, Gen Odierno (Chief of Staff, Army), Director of NCIS, etc.

Care packages?  Cards?  Letters?  No way to count.  We really appreciate all of the love and support from the community.  Without that support, this journey would be so much more difficult. 

So, 36th surgery tomorrow.  Derek is a little nervous about it.  We all are.  But Dr. N seems to have a good handle on it.  He and his team have a plan and we have confidence in them.  So, prayers for a successful surgery and recovery of the hand.  It's frustrating to only have the use of one hand.

Good night.  God bless.  Keep climbing.  Eventually you will reach the top.  Climb to glory, baby!

Learning to Let Go

What a week so far.  Derek is sad that Krystina went to see her family this week, even though he understands she needs to see them, too.  Just because he understands, doesn't mean he is not sad.  It's not easy being away from someone you love.  He is also nervous about surgery Friday.  We all are.  But Dr. N seems to have a good plan in place.  He came down to the Matc to discuss it with us.  The EMG looked promising, and Dr. N is hopeful.  He is going to replace the cement spacer with a cadaver bone and take a look around to see if there is a path for the ulna nerve to regrow.  He wants to look around and see how the rest of the hand is repairing itself and what state it is in. 

He said the immediate recuperation time is three weeks, so OT and PT will be a little limited.  Derek's PT was NOT a happy girl.  She stomped her foot when I told her.  She is quite a character.  We like her.  She kids around with the guys and her whole attitude is very helpful to their well being.

Derek will not be able to bear weight on his hand or wrist for three weeks.  There will be no range of motion or stretching of the hand or wrist for three weeks.  Thereafter, regular OT and PT can resume.

The full recuperation time is about six months to two years.  After six months, another nerve study will show how much of the nerves have regrown and whether a rewiring of the tendons or muscles is necessary.  There may come a point when all that can be done will have been done, but at least Dr. N is hopeful and is trying it all.  Derek has already asked about voluntary amputation if the limb salvage is not successful.  Dr. N is hoping that his hand will be repaired enough to be a helping hand, and all efforts will be exhausted before amputation is considered.  I hope it doesn't come to that.  I really don't want to think about him losing the arm. 

An ongoing conversation this week has been nurses v. therapists (of the occupational and physical variety).  Nurses nurture and attend to all of the patient's needs.  If a patient is struggling, the nurse rushes in and helps immediately.  It is her role to make sure the patient is comfortable and wants for nothing.  If he is reaching for something, she will hand it to him.  A therapist, not so much.  A therapist is apt to move the target a little further away or make a sarcastic comment in order to egg the patient on to try harder.  The therapist will sit there and let the patient struggle until he can do it himself.  Their roles are very different.

Both want to see the patient succeed, and both celebrate when the patient can do it himself.

As a mother, I am torn.  And throughout a child's life, a mother remains torn.  No mother wants to watch her child struggle, so it is in her nature to nuture and help.  But, she also knows her child needs to learn, so she guides him and allows him a safe avenue in which to learn that which he needs.  In this situation, I need to fight my instinct to reach out and hand Derek his seat belt or help him in other ways.  He has to be independent.  I help him with things I know he cannot do with one fully functioning hand, but other than that, I have taken a lot of cues from his OT and PT and I push him to do more and more on his own.

It's hard to let go.

I am so stressed I am ready to crack.  This week has sort of pushed me over the edge.  Over the last six months I went from being with my kids every day to seeing them every few weeks, to having my son healthy and full of life to almost losing my son and watching him suffer daily, from having a wonderful job I loved to having to find a job in a terrible economy, etc.  Derek is also stressed this week, and that has not helped.  I had to set priorities, and getting Derek through this was number one.  Now that he is getting to the end of the rockiest parts, the priorities are meshing closer together, so the choices are harder to make.  They were so easy in the beginning.  Now I don't know what to do sometimes.  I just ask for guidance, but I don't feel any coming yet.

So the mountain is a little steep right now.  I've gotten over steeper climbs, and I know I'll get past this one, too.  Sometimes, during the steepest parts, when it is especially rocky, it doesn't feel like I'll ever get over that rock and onto the next one, but somehow I do.  I just keep climbing, and before I know it, I'm onto the next challenge.  So, keep going.  You'll make it to the top eventually, too.  And then there will be another mountain, representing another of life's challenges for you to conquer.  That's life.  That's what makes living an adventure.  So, keep climbing.  Never give up.  Never give in.  Tell that mountain who's the boss.  Own it.  Climb to freaking glory!

Celebrating Firsts

When you have a child, you celebrate firsts.  The first words, the first solid food, the first full night's sleep, the first steps.  Having a wounded warrior is very similar.

Krystina and I have been celebrating the little things and all of Derek's firsts since he was injured.  His first words, his first food, the first time he sat up on his own, etc.  He has not yet had his first steps, but he will, and we will be there to cheer him on when he does!

The notable firsts are as follows, and not all are something to celebrate:

First day without legs - 7/23/11 (Derek laughed at this one.)

First smile - 7/30/11 (Day after admission to Bethesda when Krystina told him her mother was going to kick his ass.)

First day off ventilator - 8/4/11 (Only lasted four hours.)

First day off dialysis - 8/18/11 (25 days after injury) (Derek was in acute renal failure after his injury.)

First phantom pain started - 8/20/11 (27 days after injury) (This is actually a good thing because it means the nerves woke up.)

First day in wheelchair - 9/8/11 (47 days after injury) (41 days after admission to WR)

First successful break from ventilator - 9/9/11 (48 days after injury)

First words - 8/4/11 - "I'm sorry this happened" and "Chocolate milkshake."
                     9/9/11 - "Krystina" and "Siobhan"

First food - 9/13/11 (52 days after injury) (Jello during swallow study.)

First trip back to ICU - 9/26/11

First time off trach (decanulated) - 10/26/11 (95 days after injury)

First time off antibiotics - 10/29/11 (98 days after injury)

First time off oxygen - 10/29/11 (98 days after injury)

First night alone - 11/1/11 (101 days after injury) (one-to-one discontinued.)

First shower - 11/4/11 (104 days after injury)

First day in Matc - 11/21/11 (121 days after injury)

First pass - 11/24/11 (124 days after injury)

First pee the normal way - 11/29/11 (127 days after injury)

First time sat up by himself - 12/14/11 (150 days after injury)

First time picked up something with his injured hand - 12/28/11 (164 days after injury)

First time rolled over on his own - 12/30/11 (166 days after injury)

So, like a child again, we are back to celebrating firsts.  There will be plenty of other firsts to celebrate, and like a child, we have traded in the diaper bag for medical supplies.  The last couple of years, we used to simply grab our pocketbooks and run out the door, but now Krystina and I have to make sure the protector is on the PICC, the extra colostomy bags and supplies and urinal are in the backpack, along with a change of clothing, and if we are going on pass, that we have his medication.  Krystina and I make a good team.  We have split up the work between us and it all gets done.   

Today, Derek didn't want to get his ass out of bed and go to the Matc.  I had to be a general and get his nurse and a corpsman to just pick him up and put him in his wheelchair.  I did the same thing yesterday with a shower.  He is moping because Krystina is not here, but it is worse because he is also nervous about surgery on Friday.  It's a double whammy this week, so I have to step it up and kick his ass double time.  Once he got to the Matc, he had an awesome workout and his PT raved about him in her note in the computer.  He picked up a whole bunch of blocks with his injured hand, rolled all over on his own, sat up on his own, transferred in no time flat, and pushed himself up!  It was a great session.

Afterwards, we had a very special visitor!

Bobbie is a beauty! 

So, Matc tomorrow and Thursday and then surgery Friday.  Should be a relatively quiet week besides that.

Good night and God bless.  Climb to glory.  Don't stop until you reach the top.  The view is gorgeous from up there!

The First Day of a New Year, making changes in your life and adapting to changes in your life

On Thursday, Krystina's father and brother arrived for a little Derek time and a little Krystina time.  Her Daddy misses his little girl, but not as much as Derek will miss Styna this week before his surgery on Friday.  I see the change in him when she is not around.  As for Krystina and Michael, well, she is 20 and he is 13, so I don't think they miss much more than battling with one another!  They were present for my meltdown over the idiot residient who thinks he is an MDiety.  I am feeling much better now.  After discussing it with several attendings and being told that I was on the right track, when I get to his attending on Tuesday, God help her.

We celebrated last night by laying low in the room and being peaceful.  We were either reading, on the ipad or watching tv. 

At midnight, our nurse shared some sparking cider with us and then it really got crazy!

It was fun, as much as it can be under the circumstances. 

So, what has changed in your life over the past twelve months?  How is your life different?  Is it exactly the same?  Are you with the same man or woman?    Is this the man or woman who you would want to be with?  If so, why?  If not, why not?  What can you do to change that?  What can you do to make what you want come to fruition? 

Take the first couple of steps necessary to make positive steps in your life today.

If you are in a situation were you need to adapt to it for the time being, ask yourself why?  If it is temporary to assist a loved one, then make the best of it and help to the best of your ability.  If it is permanent, then make arrangements so that your needs are also met.  You cannot have your needs neglected.

God bless you and yours in this new and promising year!

Today, Derek started his new year by sleeping because he stayed up all night watching movies with Krystina and Sean, so I cleaned out the room!  It was a quiet day.

No matter how big that mountain, no matter how rocky, no matter how insurmountable any obstacle many seem, hang on, grab whatever you need, and keep climbing, all the way, to the top.... Climb to glory!  I'll meet you there.  With a glass of your favorite tasty beverage.