118 days ago, Krystina, Kellina, Sean and I stood outside the Emergency Room entrance of National Naval Medical Center (now Walter Reed National Military Medical Center) awaiting the medevac bus. The rest of the family was either en route or coming shortly thereafter. We stood with two other families, three medical teams and various military personnel.
My heart was pounding. My throat was dry. My emotions ran the gamut from terrified, to relieved that he was finally arriving, to heartbroken, to joy at getting to see him, to fear, etc. I did not know what was facing me when that bus pulled up. The news from Germany and the Army medical call center was sketchy. I was told very different things each time I called. All I knew was I had to get my hands and eyes on him and that was minutes away.
That bus pulled up and Derek was the first wounded warrior to come out. I was brought forward to see him. My heart caught in my throat at the sight before me. My strong, brave, healthy boy was lying, unconscious, on a stretcher. He skin was sallow and yellow. His eyes were black and swollen. There was a tube in his mouth helping him breathe. I was brought forward and allowed to place a quick kiss on his forehead.
We rushed through the doors of the Emergency Room and up to the SICU where we spent the next 50 days helping him recover. That was 118 days ago.
Today, we came full circle.
Today, on this day of Thanksgiving, Derek left through those doors in his wheelchair to get on a completely different bus.
Today, his cheeks are a little sunken in from all of the weight he has lost, but his color is rosy. His eyes are bright and full of life. The best part of him is his attitude. He has a never give up way of looking at life that warms everyone around him. His sense of humor has everyone in stitches.
Today, for the first time in four months, Derek was well enough to get a day pass. Since he stopped his PCA last Friday, he was eligible to leave the hospital for a few glorious hours.
The 10th Mountain Division Association offered dinner for wounded warriors and their families at the Omni Shore Hotel in Washington, DC. Being that there were 13 of us, we almost needed an entire bus just for us. Since we were coming from the inpatient side, and everyone else, except one couple, was coming from Building 62 (outpatient), a bus was sent for us to the Emergency Room entrance.
The bus ride was a little rough. The bumps in the road hurt Derek, but he was excited to be out!
The dinner was wonderful. They were some of the best mashed sweet potatoes we have ever had. There were deviled eggs, salad, shrimp, crab, oysters, turkey, mashed potatoes, beef wellington, duck l'orange, veggies, etc.
After a quick dinner, Derek was ready to go. The bus driver gave me his number, and I called him when we were ready so we did not have to wait until the end, when everyone was going back to the hospital. The other couple was ready to leave when we were. Had they not been, they said they would have caught a ride on another bus.
Derek was in his glory playing with his cousins, talking to his brothers and sister, hanging with his uncle, bonding with his papa, being fawned over by his aunt. He stuck to the low phosphorous diet, to a point. I am very strict with his diet, but since it was Thanksgiving, I let him cheat. We will tell them to ignore the labs tomorrow!
Yes, we are loving life now that we have our Derek back. We have a busy weekend planned with the family, and Derek is looking forward to it.
Kellina is making a picture with a quote on it that is so fitting for us right now. It is from a 4 year old girl. It is, "You know, not all dreams come true. But that's okay because we can always make new dreams." So perfect.
Ending the evening watching Jeff Dunham's Controlled Chaos? Priceless. How does he do it?
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. To all who are braving the stores for Black Friday.... good luck! Don't get trampled! Or, don't trample any poor old ladies!
God bless!
On this Thanksgiving Eve and Derek's Four Month Alive Day, I want to say I am so thankful for the medical staff at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center Bethesda. Thanks to all of them, Derek is alive and well and getting his first pass tomorrow. Thanks to the genuine caring from the staff, Derek is progressing in leaps and bounds.
Four months into this journey, I am amazed at Derek's progress. In the beginning, I did not think that we would still be inpatient at this point, but looking at the gravity of Derek's injuries, I am simply thankful that he has come so far.
I am also so thankful for family. My sister, brother-in-law, father, nephews and children made the trip down on one of the busiest travel days of the year to spend Thanksgiving as a family. Thirteen of us took over the Family Waiting Room on the fourth floor. Derek was in his glory. He was surrounded by so much love - the people who love him the most in this world, and the look on his face showed it.
We were nervous with AJ (age 10) and Eric (age 12) seeing their cousin for the first time after his accident, but they handled it so great. Derek greeted them with, "Hi! I have no legs!" He then whipped out his stump and waived it at them. He gave both boys a ride on his wheelchair, and they quickly realized that he was the same old Derek, just without legs.
There is nothing better than family. Family supports you no matter what. Family doesn't make excuses. Nothing will stop family from being by your side when you really need them. The love surrounding Derek tonight was truly heartwarming.
I am also thankful for the Yellow Ribbon Fund for getting my sister and her family a room for the weekend. My sister and brother-in-law have come to visit Derek so many times and never asked for a thing. They take care of my children for me, and do so much more for us. They have spent money for gasoline for the drive down from New Jersey and for food while they are here, and for food for my children at home. I have been able to put them up with me when they come, but this time, there is just not enough room with the rest of the family here (my kids - Michael, Kellina, Ryan and Sean, as well as my Dad!). So, I asked the SFAC if there was anything that could be done. They came through with a room for them. Thank you, YRF!!
Yvette and Brian also brought Jersey bagels for the staff! They are the best around and cannot compare to what they call "bagels" around here. Dr. Diego has been hassling me for the bagels all week! I bought him a bagel from Dunkin Donuts this morning, and I was going to give that to him, but I left it at the Matc. I told him about it though, and he said that was really mean of me. I have two everything bagels sitting in Derek's room for him when he comes in tomorrow.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. My hearts and prayers are with all serving overseas or who could not get leave to be with their loved ones this Thanksgiving, including the wonderful medical staff working for all of our wounded warriors.
Yes, I know there are also other medical personnel, policemen, firemen, etc. who have to work tomorrow, and they have noble professions, too. Brian is a cop and often has to work holidays, and we miss him when he has to work. Also, there are people working tomorrow so we can enjoy a meal out with Derek on his first pass. So, thank you to everyone working on Thanksgiving, but at least you get to go home to your family at the end of the day, or at least I hope you do. Our servicemen and women do not.
Please keep our military in mind this holiday season and always. May God keep them safe until they are home with their loved ones.
God bless you. Happy Thanksgiving.
Not promising a great entry tonight. Severe migraine pounding away. Spent most of the day hibernating in my corner chair. But since I did not do one last night for the same reason, I am trying this. No promises. Remember that please.
I have mentioned before that we need a revolving door and a secretary. I sometimes feel like Derek's hostess, "I can fit you in at three. Would you like to have a seat and wait?"
Derek still has several teams actively involved with him: PM&R (Physical Medical and Rehabilitation)(Dr. K), Trauma (Dr. Perdue, Dr. Diego, Dr. Doogie), OT (Sam and Dan), PT (MJ), Nueropsyche (Dr. West), Urology, Endocrinology, and Gastroenterology. Infectious Disease and Respiratory no longer come around. Add to that the social workers, nurse case manager, Red Cross, finance, SFAC, Eucharistic Ministers, AW2, squad leader, Liaisons, WTB, etc., and the room never stops. The best visitors are Sgt Archie, Bobbie and Laura Lee, the facility pups and their mommies!!! Puppy therapy is the BEST therapy!
Yesterday, a woman from the Federal Recovery Coordination Program came in. This was the program last week who was rude to Krystina and was questioning why she was in the room. I spoke with that woman last week and told her I would schedule an appointment with her when we were ready to meet with her. I guess this new woman didn't get that message because she walked in, pulled up a chair and sat down without asking us if it was a good time.
She prefaced the meeting with telling me that she heard I was very on top of things and had a good handle on Derek's needs. She then proceeded to lecture me on why I needed her. She asked me if I had done the Social Security forms. I held them up and said I was in the process of filling them out when she walked in. She asked me if I had filled out the TGLI forms. I told her I had the phone number to call on Tuesday. Her program is for outpatient. We are not there yet. We will not be there for at least a month.
I was polite for the first ten minutes. I finally told her she had to leave. She argued with me that I needed her! I told her we did not. She told me she disagreed. I do not care whether she disagrees or not. I explained to her that with so many medical teams and volunteers around, I could not process her information as well, and I needed her to leave. I do not appreciate being argued with by someone who claims she is there to help. So, please leave.
I am juggling too many teams, too many volunteers, too much information. I have too much on my plate. I do not need information for a month from now. Just go away before Mama Tiger's claws come out. Now.
I had made a small sign for the door, which I thought got a nice little message across. The floor came over and took my small little sign down. They typed it up and made it large! I love it! It says: "Please do not: - remind us to order food; - disturb when the curtain is closed." Why the sign? I have been feeding my children for 23 years. I really do not need to be reminded to do it now. It wouldn't be an issue, and I really wouldn't mind it if they didn't wake Derek and me up to remind us. If they simply reminded us, it would be okay. But when I close my eyes for a quick cat nap, or when Derek is sleeping and they yell in the room at 4pm to order dinner, it aggravates me. Also, when the curtain is closed and the nurses are changing Derek and a volunteer comes walking in around the curtain, that is plain rude. Hence, the sign. I thought a small sign would be polite and get my message across. The floor wanted it to be really plain.
The good news is that Derek is making progress by leaps and bounds. He moved himself over today without help. I am so proud of him. He made another video blog today and spoke a lot about me. I cannot believe him. Makes me tear up, and I am not an emotional person.
Derek is getting a pass for Thanksgiving, so we can actually get off base! Woot! HUGE step!! Dr. K from PM&R said it's a go! I cannot wait to have all of my kids together again. I miss them so much. The hardest part of this, besides watching Derek suffer, has been being away from my other children. I am missing so much of their lives. But they understand that Derek needs me right now. Thank God they are good kids and understand.
As of Monday, Derek starts at the Matc in the America Building on a regular basis. That is a big step. He worked out in the Matc yesterday, and he is scheduled to go there tomorrow. He almost didn't get to go tomorrow because of Urology.
Tonight, at 5:15, the team walked in and said they had him scheduled for a procedure tomorrow. Really? Without notice? Without consideration for someone else's schedule? And then they did not even bother to bring the consent with them. So, we said no. We talked to one of the doctors, and they will exchange the supra pubic catheter at bedside around Derek's schedule tomorrow. But they put it in the computer for him to be NPO for tomorrow. No. He needs to have breakfast before working out in the Matc at 9. The NPO happened after I left with a migraine tonight. I cannot leave that room. Whenever I leave, something happens. Thankfully, it worked out.
I was talking to Derek's nurse from today and a corpsman who has a special place in my heart. I finally told him why he will always have a special place in my heart. The night that Derek should have been in the ICU due to severe respiratory distress, Willie (corpsman) and Janea (nurse) tended to him all night. Tonight, Willie told Angela what happened that night. He remembers the details. He was in charge of the corpsmen that night and he went into the room and stayed the night because of Derek's condition instead of assigning someone else as Derek's one-to-one. I thanked him for being so caring.
Hope your Thanksgiving plans are in full swing and your turkey or tofurkey is ready and waiting! Enjoy your time with your family. May your blessings be many and your heartaches be few.
Remember our deployed military this Thanksgiving. Raise your glass on Thanksgiving Day for them, and bow your heads in prayer for their safety. Because of our military, we can rest easy knowing that our freedom is assured. God bless them and keep them all safe so that they may return to their families soon.
Good night and God bless, everyone!
The last couple of days have meant a lot of progress for Derek. He continues to amaze us with his sense of humor and his "never give up" attitude.
On Friday, he rocked it in PT by lifting 5lb weights and sitting up on his own. Krystina and I felt comfortable enough to get out for an hour and meet some lovely ladies for lunch. Unfortunately, my car had other ideas. It wouldn't start... again. This is a new car and shouldn't do this! Oh well.
They also disconnected Derek's PCA - Patient Controlled Analgesic. Dr. D wanted Derek to yell out, "Wilson, NOOOO!!" as they removed the PCA. Derek referred to his PCA as his Wilson. This comes from the Tom Hanks' movie Castaway. Derek felt a lot of comfort with his PCA.
They first gave it to him the Wednesday after he went septic, August 10th. HIs hands were so swollen he could not move them, but he was expected to push the dang button. It was temporarily made into an MCA (Mom Controlled Analgesic) until they brought him a big black arm that held it in place and where he could simply raise his swollen arm and tap the plastic block they put in front of the button. Eventually, he no longer needed the black arm, and the button with the plastic face (on which I drew a big smiley face) was tapped onto his bed. Derek slept with his hand resting on the button.
Over the last few weeks, the PCA was reduced from 1 mg Dilauted to .6, .4 and eventually .2. Friday, it was disconnected. No more PCA means he might get a pass and be able to leave the hospital!
Since his entire family will be here for Thanksgiving, we are hoping to get a pass that day to attend a Thanksgiving dinner at the Omni Hotel with the 10th Mountain Association. I signed us up, Derek plus 13, so let's hope we make it! Krystina's family will be down on Friday, so at that time we will have 17 visiting. I already warned the nursing staff that we will be taking over the conference room for the weekend. It is going to be wonderful to have all the people who love Derek the most, and who he loves the most, and have supported him unselfishly throughout this all together next weekend!
When I asked Dr. D if it was possible for Derek to get a pass for Thursday, his answer was, "Let me consult my Magic 8 ball... (shaking invisible ball)... The answer is 'yes!'"
This weekend, Derek also had his IV fluids dc'd. Since he is drinking a lot on his own and no longer vomiting, the fluids were discontinued.
The PICC will still stay in place, though, for the IV meds he still gets (Regulan for his gut and the boluses of pain meds, as well as the magnesium replacement that keeps dropping almost every day, etc.), as well as the daily labs.
Derek also turned himself for the first time today, without assistance. He is slowly getting his strength back.
Before Derek goes to outpatient, though, he will need to be able to get himself to and from the wheelchair, change his own colostomy bag, toilet on his own, and dress himself. The strength isn't there, yet, which is why we are now into the poly-trauma rehab phase. Before the merger of NNMC and WR, poly-trauma rehab was done in Richmond, VA, Tampa, FL, San Antonio, TX, or Palo Alto, CA. Since the merger, they have the ability to do it in Bethesda, so we do not have to move. We really did not want to leave our wonderful nursing staff, the fabulous corpsmen, and all of the doctors we have come to know and love.
As for future surgeries, right now Derek is looking at having the temporary concrete spacer in his arm replaced with cadaver bone either late December or early January. I hope they do it before he becomes an outpatient, so we do not have to go to Bldg 62 and then come back to inpatient status. He might also have to have his hand rewired if it does not regenerate and come back on its own through OT. As of now, he can move his fingers a little, which is a wonderful improvement.
But it's Derek's attitude that really keeps us snowed. His sense of humor is inspiring. He has nothing on his left side, which was a hip disarticulation - removed the ball joint from the hip socket, and he has about 10 inches on the right side. He can now move his stump with great intensity, and when he is happy, he wags that little stump like a dog's tail! When he is upset, he whacks that stump into the bed and mock yells at us.
On Saturday, the doctor came in and after talking to us asked Derek if he wanted him to remove his breakfast tray, which was at the bottom of his bed. Derek's response? "Please, so I can stretch my legs."
Derek also loves burping his colostomy bag. Derek was always a very gassy individual, and that has not changed. In the elevator the other day, Derek burped the bag and sent Krystina and I gasping for the door. His belly laugh was the best I've heard in a long time.
While in his wheelchair, he pulled a speeding 360 in the Main Lobby (formerly the Quarter Deck), in front of two sailors who hooted and hollered for him. He is a maniac in that thing!
This is not an easy journey, but with wonderful people around us and the support of our family, we are making it. The stress at times becomes overwhelming, and I actually felt like I was at the end of my coping ability on Saturday morning, but a wonderful corpsman, Dennis, helped me through. How? Just by talking to me and by making sure Derek had a nurse who knew him.
Continuity of care is so important. Derek has so much going on, I just do not have the energy to get a nurse who is not familiar with him up to speed, especially in light of the fact that he might be moving to PM&R tomorrow, which is a whole new set of doctors. Trauma will still be on board, but PM&R will be taking over as primary. Having to get a new team of doctors up-to-date is an overwhelming thought. It didn't go very well the one day they were onboard, so this has me very nervous.
I took Dr. West's advice last week and asked that the PM&R team visit daily so that it would not be a cold transfer, and they listened and started coming around. Sometimes, Dr. W has some good hints. He does seem to care, even though he is hard to read with his dry sense of humor. He actually showed up early Friday morning so as not to miss me. I had sent him an email about something, and I had never done that before. He was concerned that he had upset me. He hadn't. I just sent him an email to clarify a question that I didn't think I answered fully the day before, and since Krystina and I were going to try to go to lunch, I didn't want to miss him.
Saturday wasn't that bad, for only the second time since we arrived. After I cleared up the nursing issue, it went okay. There was an idiot SOD on during the day, but the night doc was wonderful and took care of the issue. The nursing problem? A nurse I didn't know came up to me and simply said, "I'm his nurse today. Be right back." Then she woke Derek to tell him she was his nurse. No name. No introduction. And no reason to have awoken him. Just, "I'm your nurse." I don't think so. She had also come in to hang the magnesium at that point without telling us what she was doing and seemed put off when I asked. Why wake Derek if not to tell him what you are doing? I really don't think so. I was too tired to deal with it that day. Since she was partnered with a nurse who actually knew Derek, I asked that they be switched. It really is easier than having to explain everything that is going on, how he likes to move, how to get him into the wheelchair, and all the other little nuances that make Derek Derek. This new nurse could have been wonderful, but I was just too tired to deal with it, especially after the bad taste left by the initial interaction.
Derek is more comfortable when he has someone he knows, and so am I. I can see it in his whole attitude. When it is a nurse he doesn't know, or a corpsman with whom he does not feel comfortable, he is quiet and reserved. This isn't the Derek we know and love. Our Derek is loud and a real jokester. Singing "Wiggle It" while being wiped down, asking, "Where my dolla bills at?" when having his shirt removed, and telling Katie she is one of his "big bootie bitches," is what we want to hear. If I thought for a second he was being disrespectful, or if the staff was put off by it, I would discuss it with him, but they seem to love it. Laughter is what we want to hear coming from his room.
We ended up having a lot of fun this weekend, Derek, Krystina and me, and fooling around with the corpsmen is always a blast, even when one grabs my wrist too hard while wrestling and bruises it. I used that to my advance!
So, we are moving onward and upward and making progress again after the setback last week. Here's to no more setbacks and continued progress!
God bless!
