Monday, January 23, 2012


Started the morning by attending a special promotion ceremony for the wonderful Chelsea!  Wish she was on 4 center so Derek could have her, but she is not.  Her Mom taught Derek's LT.  I was honored to be invited to attend!

Sean left today.  Thank you, Hero Miles!  It was sad seeing him leave.  Derek didn't want his little buddy to go back, but he has school.  Hopefully soon he can come back.

Tomorrow we are having a Discharge Planning Meeting.  I really wish we would wait until Dr. Kim returns since she is Derek's doctor, but that doesn't seem important.  Derek's pain is not well controlled, but he said he will just live with it.  That concerns me.    He is still not able to attend the Matc five times a week, or to stay in his chair for several hours at a time.  The longest he went was for the Army/Navy Game, but he suffered.  That is not okay with me.

No Matc today.  He looked whipped when I got there, but he said he would go.  I had my doubts.  A little later he said he was too tired.  But then in the afternoon he used a visit from Wee Man to bolster his reason for not going.
Derek loved him!

I feel the need to vent a little tonight.  Please excuse me.  If you don't want to read it, stop now.

Still with me?  Well then.  Here goes nothing.  I am extremely stressed out, not sleeping, have the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Some things that may not usually bother me, bother me now as a result.  My patience has officially taken the Metro and left.  I don't know when it will be back.

First of all, the mail.  It stinks!  So many have told us that they sent cards and they were returned.  Others have sent packages and cards that we have never received.  I am sorry.  We found out through another wounded warrior that they are being sent back from the main post office and not even getting here!  How do we fix that?  We want our mail!

Everyone who goes through the experience of having a loved one injured handles it her/his own way.  I am not going to criticize how someone else handles it, because it is a very personal journey.  I have seen the mothers/wives/fathers who sit and cry every day.  I have seen the fathers/mothers/girlfriends sitting looking shell shocked and unable to participate.  I have seen the wives/mothers/fathers lash out and fight with everyone.  I have seen the fathers/mothers quietly support their sons and stay by their sides throughout the ordeal.  I have seen the mothers/fathers/girlfriends leave everything behind, quit or lose their jobs, drop out of school in order to help their sons/boyfriends through this.  I have seen the mothers/wives who are confrontational or do nothing but complain.

I have seen the family members up and walk away.... okay, wait.  That one gets a criticism and a vent session.  How can you walk out on someone you claim to love or have loved when he needs you most?  How do you fail to contact him while he is in the hospital?  How can you look yourself in the mirror when you either walk away from or ignore someone who is hurting?

What is really annoying are those "family" members or friends who had little or nothing to do with the soldier before his injury but now come out of the woodwork.  Facebook requests and messages, visits, emails and cards from people who didn't take the time to reach out pre-explosion are now there.  Where were you?  You had the opportunity to be part of this amazing young man's life before, but you didn't.  It is easier to accept the warm wishes from strangers who didn't have the opportunity to know him before than it is to have someone who rejected him before try to be there now.  I know they don't see it as rejection, but what would you call it?  He was the same awesome young man pre-IED that he is now.  Where were you?  Since you didn't want to take the time before, we really don't need you now, especially when you only show up when it is convenient for you and then disappear again.  This hurts him.  Just stay away since it is obvious you don't have the intention of being there.

Finally, I have seen the family members who make it all about them.  It's not.  It's about the man in the bed!  These sympathy whores do nothing but whine and cry about how hard it is and some of them post the most horrendous pictures.  Think about it.... if you were lying in a hospital, having a life saving procedure, or if you had a particularly nasty looking wound, would you want a picture taken and posted for the world to see?  Discuss it, but don't post it.

Dignity.  Can we please leave these guys with their dignity?  They have lost so much, and they are subjected to examinations, procedures, medications, etc. on a daily basis.  Can't we leave them with their dignity?  Ask yourself if he would want the world to see him in that situation.  If the answer is "no," don't post the picture.  If the answer is "I'm not sure," don't post the picture.  Most of us would not want a picture of us getting a medical procedure.  If he says to post it, use your common sense.  He is under the influence of so much medication.  Does he really want that picture posted? 

I have some horrible pictures of Derek from when he first arrived.  I took them for the sole reason of showing him how far he has come.  I wouldn't think of posting them.  When he is off the medication and his head is clearer, if he requests that they be posted, then I will.  But he has to request it.

I have shared many pages from other wounded warriors.  Most of them have respected the guy's privacy.  Some have not.  It breaks my heart for these guys.  They are medicated, injured, out of sorts.  They are heroes.  Let's please respect them.

Okay.  Vent over.  Sorry.  Sometimes you gotta let it out or you will blow!  We stay positive, and we look for the good every day.  We thank God for our blessings, and we count those blessings often.  But sometimes, things get so heavy that I have to vent.

Now we are on to getting Derek to the Matc for the rest of the week and getting him stronger.  He is almost there.  He is making that climb to glory, and we will be celebrating, with all of you who have supported him and wished him well, at the top of that mountain!


  1. thanks for posting Siobhan. sending you tons of support and admiration as always for your strength and perseverance. same of course for Derek, and Krystina. hoping Derek's pain subsides very soon.

    warm regards. stay strong. vent often. :)

  2. You have the weight of the world on your shoulders right now. You need to vent or what??? Go nuts! Well that wouldn't do anybody any good! A mother's job is never done! We never stop worrying about our children and you have to be in so many places and wear so many hats I think you are amazing for doing such a great job juggling everything ! I think Derek is amazing!! And I think Krystina is amazing!! Praying for Derek's pain to go away.

  3. Siobhan, Vent away, that's what your friends are here for, to support you when you need it. I totally understand the concern to have Derek's doctor there for any meeting that could change his status or treatment. Dr. Kim should be there. I know you will advocate loudly and firmly for Derek. Everyone should have someone like you in their corner.
    I understand about 'family' members showing up when it will make them look good. We have some of those, too. Makes it very hard not to have unkind/sinful thoughts toward them.
    The inappropriate pictures, I think I know whose those are. And I agree. I pray for them every day and my heart aches for him when he realizes his privacy has been more than breached. Makes me pray even more for them.
    You and Krystina are such an inspiration! If ever one of my family is in need as Derek is, I hope I am as strong as you. Derek and your other children are so blessed to have you! Everyone needs someone like you in their corner.
    You keep climbing with Derek. To the Top! All the Way!
    Erin McGahuey Proud Army Mom

  4. Praying right now!
    Isaiah 26:3-4 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address

  5. Life can be overwhelming at times, but the victory is ours through Christ! Put your trust in Him! Praying!
    1 Corinthians 15:54-57 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
    Prayer Bears
    My email address