Sunday, October 23, 2011


I am not medical.  I do not have a medical degree or any medical training or background.  This is so foreign to me.  This is not where I thought I would ever find myself.  I sometimes feel like I am adrift in a sea of molton lava with only a log to keep me afloat.  I rely on the training of the professionals around me to educate me and take proper care of my son.  When they let me down, I feel like that lava is splashing over the side of the log.

This weekend, the lava spashed.  When lava spashes, I doubt myself.  I question everything.  And I do tend to jump.  I get nervous.  I listen to everything I am told, and when other doctors come in and say something different, I tend to go with the doctor I know and trust.  It doesn't mean the new doctor is wrong, but I want to go with the original doctor, so I object.  But then I doubt myself.  In objecting, am I causing harm?

These thoughts went through my mind all weekend about the erythromycin being changed from IV to J-tube and the water flushes increased. both of which I asked to be changed back because both time the changing doctors were unknown to us and had not examined Derek.  Had I made the right decision?  These thoughts weighed heavy on my mind all weekend.

Today, Dr. Bograd walked in and said, "You had a rough weekend, Mom.  I'm sorry."  He then told me I had made the right decision and supported my choices.  He did this last Sunday, as well, when he said I had good instincts when I told Dr. Mickeymouseowich to get out of CT scan when he wanted me to remove the dressings on the flap and tape it into place.  Um, no.

It felt good to have the doctor I trust second (Dr. Perdue is first), tell me I was right to trust my mommy gut (thanx for that term, Jessica).  The doctor taking over for Bograd next week has mighty big shoes to fill.

This morning they sent a doctor from internal medicine in to examine Derek due to his potassium still being high and blood pressure being too low.  The doctor put down his stethescope and tried to left his arm!  I told him the arm did not move because it was STITCHED TO HIS CHEST!  Wouldn't a doctor, I don't know, ask the PATIENT to move his arm if he wanted to listen to his heart?  I told Bograd and he shook his head and said, "That's why we don't usually invite internal medicine to the party."  I love him.

And as of right now, Derek is scheduled to have the flap take down on the 23rd, the supra pubic changed on the 28th and the x-fixes possibly removed on the 1st.  No.  Urology has to get it together like they told me they would and piggy back on to one of the procedures on either the 23rd of the 1st.  He is not going under again on Friday.  Not happening.

Krystina came back today!  Yeah!  I missed her!  Derek missed her!  She went home for a few days and her presence was sorely missed.  My Dad was here for a few days from Tuesday until Saturday morning, and Krystina left from Thursday until today.  It was good seeing her Dad on Thursday and her Mom today, but losing her those few days was hard.  Derek was very quiet when she was gone.  When she returned, he brightened!

We received a special visitor tonight.  A blast from the past, if you will.  Doug Mead went to school with Derek and Michael at West Essex and graduated in 2006.  He is a 2LT in the Army now and we wish him the best of luck and to come home safe.  It was nice visiting with him, and Derek wished he remembered to get him to sign his flag before he left!  Doug gave him a card, so he is going to hang that on the flag!

Big things happening this week.  Flap take down and more!  Stay tuned!

God bless!  Climb to glory!  Never give up!

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