Wednesday, February 29, 2012

2 sons, 2 hospitals, 2 states, 1 Mom torn in 2

2 special sons
2 different hospitals
2 far-apart states
2 broken cars
1 stressed Mom torn in 2

(Thank you, Yvette, for that statement.)

In the past seven months, I have almost lost two sons.  It's almost too much for me to bear.

Seven months ago today I arrived in Bethesda, MD to await Derek's arrival.  So much has happened since then.  When it was time for the kids to start school, I broken heartedly let my children return to NJ to live with my sister.

They have visited many times, but I miss them every day.

On Friday I received a 911 message that my sister was trying to reach me.  My 17 yr old son, Ryan, was being rushed to the Emergency Room.

Ryan is 6'4", skinny as a rail, and he has a gerbil on his face that he calls his goatee.

He was sent home from school not feeling well, and a short time after he arrived home, he collapsed.  At the ER, they determined that he had a spontaneous pnuemothorax.  Tall, skinny, young males are prone to them.  (Watch out, Dr. Diego!)  They immediately placed a chest tube to reinflate the lung and suction out the air.  The doctor later told me that if my sister had not been home, Ryan would not be with us today.  It was a life threatening event.

Needless to say my Friday was not a good day.  I have two broken cars, so I had no easy way to get back to Jersey.  My heart was breaking not being with Ryan during this time.  Finally, I decided to suck it up and rent a car.  I cannot afford it, especially with no job, but I had to get home and I could not wait on the wonderful SFAC to arrange a flight or whatever. 

I arrived back in Jersey at 9 on Friday night, and I stayed in Ryan's room, with the exception of a few hours on Sunday. 

After five days in a civilian hospital, I can unequivocally state there is just no comparison.  WRNMMC is so much better.  What an experience this weekend was.  No fun.

He was finally released on Tuesday morning, and I returned to Bethesda on Tuesday night to assist Derek with oupatient.

Ryan is a trooper.  The kid has amazing stamina and pain tolerance.  He was released with a remaining five percent plural effusion, but the doctor believes he will be okay.  We just have to watch him.

Torn to pieces.  I wanted to be with Derek during his first weekend pass.  I really needed a relaxing weekend to sleep in.  But Ryan needed me, and I wouldn't pass on running to his side.  Then I wanted to stay with Ryan to make sure that he was okay.  But I had to place him in my sister's competent hands so that I could get back to Derek.  The doctors were holding Derek's release until I came back.  They say the first few weeks are very intense, so I want to be there to help Derek and Krystina navigate.  But I want to be with Ryan.  No matter where I am, I am torn.

Derek was told he was being discharged today.  He has been here seven months today.  It would have been poetic justice.  Oh well.  Tomorrow.  Some say it's because they wanted to give me time to get back, and some say it was because he didn't go to the Matc yesterday.  Whatever it is, tomorrow should be the day. 

Yes, things are getting better for Derek, but that doesn't stop the onslaught of stress and difficulties that seem to come out of the woodwork on a daily basis.

I'm still sitting here torn in two.  The stress on my shoulders is starting to break me.  Come on, God.  It's time to start picking on another family.  I need a break. 


  1. My prayers are with you, Derek & Ryan. As a mom of 3 sons, I know it would be very difficult to have to 2 of them, in different states, to be hospitalized at the same time & both needing my presence. Hopefully Derek moves onto the next step tomorrow. Will pray that these next couple of weeks go smoothly for Derek,you & Krystina.

  2. I can't even fathom what you are going though, but know that we are prying for you and your boys, and the rest of your family. That God will let you see that light at the end of the tunnel. I am also praying for justice for you and your children. That the funds you so desperately deserve will be sent your way. And that those who conveniently forget their obligations will open their eyes or at least spend a few days in jail.

  3. My heart breaks for you and all that you have dealt with these months. I can not say I understand; I can only empathize as a mother myself and continue to pray that God keeps you strong both physically and emotionally. I do know you have demonstrated a strength that I admire. Prayers continue for all.

  4. dear siobhan,

    you're amazing. so glad you were able to watch over your son in NJ while watching over Derek. sending you a million wishes for continued fortitude and a million more for you to catch that break you so overly deserve. may all your children (and you!!) stay out of hospitals from now on!!


  5. Glad you were able to be with Ryan. So very thankful he's okay!!!!!!!!!
    Know that I'm continuing to pray!
    Isaiah 25:4 For thou hast been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall.

  6. Praying for you... I am so sorry!

  7. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers!
    Isaiah 25:8-9 He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it. And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have waited for him, and he will save us: this is the LORD; we have waited for him, we will be glad and rejoice in his salvation.

  8. So sorry things are so super stressful right now. Try to take "me" time, even if it's only 20 mins a day towards just you. You deserve it too.

  9. Love and prayers to you Siobhan, Krystina and your families for peace and healing. Derek was a REAL hero, he touched many souls during his journey and will never be forgotten. <3