Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Way It Is

*getting out soap box and stepping up on it*
*clearing throat*

Excuse me, but I have something I need to say.

I started this blog to keep family and friends (i.e. people actually involved in our lives) up-to-date on Derek's progress and the family during this journey.  Since that time, this has taken off and been spread around the community, Churches across the nation, estranged family who do not lift a finger to help any of my children but keep spying on us through this, etc. 

This has also grown as a tool to educate and guide new families beginning this journey, as well as others who want an in depth look at what it is like to live this new normal.  To those new families and the powers that be who read this, I am sorry.  Unfortunately, family drama has a way of invading no matter how hard you try to block it out.

I will continue to use this as a way to chart Derek's progress, discuss our family and address concerns around the hospital complex.

As for Derek's progress, that progress includes his emotional, mental AND physical well being.  If this includes the poor judgment and bad actions of people in his life, then I will discuss it AS I SEE FIT.  After all, I am the one and only author on this blog.  I did not start this to vilify anyone, and I have not done so.  If that was my purpose, I would have addressed it all in the very beginning.  I passed over the negative attitudes and hurtful things done since Derek's injury until the events of this weekend.  When a certain someone came forward and hurt my son once again, I felt the need to address it because it is effecting his mental well being and his ability to heal.  That I will not tolerate.  Therefore, if I feel the need to address it, I will.

If you do not like what I am writing, please move on. 

Most of the comments and feedback has been heartwarming, inspirational and productive.  I cherish the support I am getting from people I did not know until this event changed our lives.  But there are those few.  There always are.

Your negative comments and criticism really mean nothing to me.  After all, I was once dubbed the bitch of the Essex County Court House.  I wear my armor well.

All your negative comments in the guestbook and on Derek's prayer page do is upset Derek.  He is very protective of his mama and does not like to see her attacked, especially by people who know nothing.  Please do not upset Derek by attacking someone he loves and who loves him more than any individual on this planet, besides maybe Krystina.  I think she is in the running with me.  There is NO ONE else who loves him more. 

For those of you sitting back saying in your snide little way - his father does.  In my opinion, you would be wrong.  It might be just me, but I feel that you DO NOT walk away from someone you love, you DO NOT hurt that someone again and again and come back making excuses, you DO NOT try to convince the woman that person loves to abandon him when he needs her most, and you DO NOT refuse to pay proper child support.  Yes, this is just my opinion, but according to the majority of the comments, I am in good company.  No one knows what is really in someone else's heart until you live with him or have to deal with him on a regular basis.  Just hearing his lies and excuses will make you feel sorry for him.  As for his side of the story, if he wants to start his own blog, he is more than welcome.  This is Derek's journey through his mother's eyes.

That being said, I feel sorry for him.  He will do nothing but blame me.  I do not blame him.  I am a stronger woman because of the trials in my life.  I know that everything happens for a reason, and I do not live my life with regrets, excuses or blame, but I am not so foolish as to sit back and simply let life happen.  I take the bull by the horns and make it better for my children and the people whom I love.  I NEVER walk away from my responsibilities.

So for those of you who would criticize me, please move on and put your efforts somewhere else.  You claim to be Godly people, but would God condone criticizing someone during a very trying time?  What kind of person strikes out at a mother watching her son struggle on a daily basis?  Unless you have walked in my shoes, you have no right to criticize me for my decisions and the topics I choose to address.

As for you, your negative comments have not and will not be deleted.  Dr. West put it best.  He said it is like those people saw a pile of poop on the ground, bent over, spread it all over themselves and danced around singing, "Look at me!  Look at me!  I have shit on me!!"  I love Dr. West.  I agree with him, I just wish it did not upset Derek. 

I do not judge others, but I will point out shortcomings and let others make up their own minds.  I am used to presenting the facts and letting the judge make the decisions. 

So, for those of you who would criticize the way I am handling this, pucker up.... I have something for you to kiss. 

And for those of you who seem so concerned that I "find God," that is really none of your business.  My relationship with God is very personal and not something I am going to air.  If I didn't believe in His graces and power, I wouldn't have been asking for prayers to help Derek and the family through this new normal.  As for anything else on that subject, MYOB.

Thank you for listening to my rant.

*getting down off soap box and putting it away for the night.*

Given the state of my migraine, even though Dr. Diego did try to help and his suggestion worked temporarily, I will address some awesome progress made by Derek tomorrow.

God bless you and remember - Climb to Glory!

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