On August 3rd, Derek was extubated for a few hours. I have not gotten to post this before so here goes. The little time he was able to talk to us was heartwretching and hysterical.
The following are snipets of the conversations between Derek, Krystina, Sean and me. We were all in the room with Derek's nurse that night.
Derek - "Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did this. I did not want to do this to you."
Derek - "I don't think I'll make it."
Derek kept calling "Mom" just to have me walk by the bed and take his hand, just to make sure I was there. He called out "Doc!" once for his nurse, and then asked, "what are you doing?" Tommy was outside the room logging in the computer. Derek was checking on him.
Derek needed to be suctioned, and before Tommy could get in, Krystina picked up the suction and took care of it. I love that girl.
I told Krystina and Sean as they were leaving to stop by McDonald's and the following ensued:
Derek - McDonalds? Chocolate milkshake? I want a chhoooocccooollaaateee milkshaaaakkeee!!!! Doc! Doc! Please?"
LT Tommy - No man. Sorry. Not tonight. Maybe when you are off the vent a couple of days.
Derek - No? Fuck you.
Then Derek yelled out, "Mom! My dick! My dick!" I asked him if he wanted to know about his dick, and he told me "please." I told him the doctors said all would be fine, and he let out a huge sigh of relief. Typical man.
He asked me about his legs. I told him it was his legs or his life. The legs had to go because we needed him and the doctors would build him new ones. He then told me, "Doc ripped it up! He just ripped it right off!" A little while later he told Krystina to put his feet up, and she said she couldn't. She asked him if he remembered what happened to his legs, and he asked me where his legs were. I told him in Afghanistan. He looked confused, and I told him again that they were gone, but that the doctors were going to build him brand new ones. His response? He shrugged and said, "fuck it."
Derek was reintubated at 4 a.m. It was wonderful to hear his voice for a short time, but his lungs just weren't strong enough.